The following is an email I received from the great Crayfish himself via my wife Ms Huxster/Mrs Rossiter, which I have emailed to most of you... see what you think. No doubt most of you will hate the very thought. However I fancy a few drinks and slagging off everyone else. What do you think?

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Hey Guys and Girls,

I hope you're all well. I think i may have mentioned this to some of you who i've seen recently, but, I've been contacted by Haileybury to help them with arranging our year's 5 Year Reunion. And i'm emailling you guys to pick your brains.

What they want off me is a date and a venue. I reckon over the summer everyone is pretty busy so around October/November seems like the next best time. Its not meant to be anything fancy,just a gathering where people can drop by for a drink after work and catch up for half an hour or a couple of hours. Past years have arranged it in a pub or club in London.

To get the ball rolling i would propose it to take place on a friday evening around oct/nov time and be held somewhere like in a bar at the East India Club. What do you think? Please let me know any ideas you have and feel free to forward this on to anyone else in our year.

Thanks,
Chris.

PS (thats Chris Crauford our illustrious leader to all of you plonkers out there - Sammyboy)

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Some of you may be interested to know the original email was sent to dave sterland, ferret, john rixson etc... ie the usual suspects. However if all of us go we can maybe drink a lot, start a fight, throw some bricks/bottles, kick somebody's teeth in, set fire to the place, kill all members of Lawrence, kick some ass, wipe the floor and say goodbye. Thoughts?)

i could not be less interested

I have to say that I still know just about everyone I want to know from school (I love you guys! (sob)) apart from possibly Loren's husband and some of the girls...Dan's party was quite enough contact with Newbers thanks. Though Muir and Wally are still quite cool if you get them away from the place...in conclusion to see some of them more or less individually could be alright but everyone together? (Shudder) I think possibly not.

Oh and if you like we can have a few drinks and slag everybody off this weekend.

Kingol, Ween, I'm ashamed of you guys! Just because loads of people in our year were tosspots doesn't mean that we shouldn't go and see them to make sure that they still are. You never know, University might have made them into more rounded human beings. Okay, that's unlikely but I think we should give people another chance.
Okay ... that's the end of the shit part of my argument, now to the vaguely convincing bit. There were some people at school who were good lads (and lasses) but who we haven't seen in ages. I for one wouldn't mind seeing people like George Scott and Max Bowden again. Also, there will be drink and food. If it turns out to be shit, we can leave and go to the pub and get hammered.
At the end of the day, school was fucking ace; we did sod all except have a laugh. I don't think we should let the fact that there were a group of wankers in our year take away from that. Besides it's much more fun slagging someone off when they are actually in the room.
Sammyboy...I'm in.

i'm in

i wonder if anyone will remember me?

Right, that's it, I am definitely going... I just received an e-mail from Hennie Mayne saying she is up for it. The reunion that is. Last I heard she was going out with Si Martindale. She will realise the error of her ways when she finds out what an educated, muscle-rippling hunk I have turned into.

On the other hand I could just knock Martindale's block off and rescue the fair maiden.

Hey, I said I'd like to see Loz's husband again. Let's face it, we were in slightly different situations Jon; you were in Kipling with some good lads as you say, with whom you made friends, fair enough, I was in Trev; the only good lads I still know (apart from George obviously), the rest, while OK individually, would be bloody awful to meet in a crowd...OK so I haven't really thought this through properly...The only reunion that I reckon would be enjoyable is the type not organised by OH types; like Gov's party, that was fine: Seeing Muir, Wally, Cah-ter, and B-frere guys was cool...I just don't fancy another 'conversation' with Newbers or any of the Lawrence types:

"So...King of Sex...How's it going?"
"Fine thanks"
"Having lots of sex?"
"Whatever!"

You should probably ignore most of this post...it sounds all different when you write things down.

Oh Bayda; who could forget you eh? That time you did that thing to that guy with your whatdyacallit? Classic!

no, i stand by my first comment...

i'd rather wash drews armpit with my toungue!

i couldn't think of anything worse to be honest.

school was good because drew and i were cut off from the rest of thomason in our own study block, and i only had about 10 different people in all of my classes.

the rest of the time was spent avoiding trotski, or ignoring everyone else.

i'd only want to revisit haileybury to either:

a) play football on 20 acre
have a band practice

screw you guys, im going home...

yeah..that was comical...and that fish..lol....genius

I'd be up for both band practice (I've kept my skills in that department up to scratch) and footie on 20 acre (I haven't kept any skills in that dept misfortunately)...so I'm with Woz all the way.

The fish! OMG! ROFLMFAO!!!

Drink! Food! I rest my case. Not exactly Perry Mason quality, but there you go. And Sammyboy, the reason that you got a reply from Hennie Mayne is cos you sent her a message! What the hell is she doing on your mailing list? Do I need to tell your wife about this?

Jonnyboy!

Come on it might be my last (and first) chance to give her a damn good seeing to.

I have her email address from ages ago because I actually got on quite well with her, aside from fancying the pants off her.

You can't blame a man for trying.

And no, don't tell my wife, it might distract her from boffing all the eligible young men of London.

If it makes any difference, I'll try and find out if Hannah Dogherty is coming so you can have one last crack at her. She always played hard to get.

Hannah D, the one for me!

i bet hennie is minging now...

i'll put money on it... anyone want some of this actions?

Hennie was nice...but mainly when she wanted to read my english essays...I still can't figure out why...Seriously though I did like her and twas a surprise to see her name in my inbox...especially as I didn't get the first e-mail.

Who is this Hannah person? Did I actually go to the same school as you lot or was it all one long acid trip? If it was it wasn't that interesting...I reckon those hippies must have been exagerating.

Ok now I'm getting wierd e-mails from people I didn't think I'd hear from ever again; I mean, Jonny Corbett is now a badger...appropriate for the forum I suppose but still...

Yeah I'll be going. Not sure if I can stand those Batten boys though - bunch of cocks the lot of em ;o)
Are teachers invited? Will SWIFT be there? All very important details. We need to get Crawford to organise two venues - one for wankers and staff and a nice cheap pub for us boys and hennie...

Those of you who are interested (Jonnyboy, Bayda and Dan) here it is:

Those of you who aren't interested (King, Warren) look away now...

Those of you who haven't decided yet: come on, what's the worst that could happen?

"Dear All 1999 Leavers,

You are invited to the '5 years on' Reunion Drinks at the East India Club,
London, on Friday 22nd October 2004.

While the dress is jacket and tie (with equivalent for ladies) the
occassion is intended to be pretty informal with a cash bar aswell as wine
and nibbles supplied early on. Please drop by from 6.30pm onwards.

It will be a great opportunity to catch up with old friends and see how
everyone's doing. In order to make this a success we are relying on
word-of-mouth, so I now need you to forward this email on to all our
contemporaries in your address book and before too long most of our year
will have heard about it.

Please reply to fivesyearson@hotmail.com to let me know if you are coming.
I will then let David Wright know and he'll place a list of names of those
attending on the Haileybury website.

Looking forward to seeing as many of you as possible.

Spread the word!
Chris Crauford"


Er... Noj? Tart? Dooo? Williams? Do I even know who you are any more? I'm going to play with my close friends Charlie Newberry and Ollie Cheyne. Goodbye!

Well now, sit down while I tell you a tale...

The 5 year reunion was last night at the swanky East India Club central London.
And here is my review:

Crauford no longer possesses any hair to speak of. Pies is now VERY slim and working in investment management in Canary Wharf. Hugo Paxton is coaching tennis at Bisham Abbey. Rob Fernando is still genius and I think was probably off his tits. The Ferret/Sterland/Massie combo are still nobs and were successfully ignored all night. As was Ally Pyle.



How wrong can you be.

Plus: I have three names I would like you to try on for size:

Jamie Goldring, Alex Graves (aka Grar-vays) and, wait for it... Will Ritchie!

I know.

Plus 'the girls', Kirsten, both Huxsters, Ellie and Fiona were all there.

A cameo appearance by Jonnyboy which lasted all of 10 minutes.

Dannyboy's flat came in very handy.

Martindale... don't even get me started.

Jonnyboy: The conversation we had with Si Wade, I couldn't make sense of it either.

Having randomly become part of the Communal Email Resurgence Socail Whirl Under Crauford (CERSWUC), which involves all sorts of people, I stumbled upon this delightful snippet from a certain Mr Stevenson. Enjoy.

>>

sounds like friday nights gonna be interesting. unfortunatly i dont think
ill be making it, some of us work friday nights. if any of you find yourself
down in southampton on a friday, come chck me out at the polar bar. ill be
spinning tunes till 12 and you might ge to hear some exclusive script
tunes(my band) as weve just been picked up by a major.
for those of you who r going, who the fucks this?
i was the quiet geek with the guitar and camera in hayley house.
hope yall have a good one.
peace

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Cheers Dave.

Don't worry, Tritton already sent a communal response asking where 'hayley' house was. Genius.

I sincerely hope that Dave will be providing entertainment for years to come. I'm particularly glad that everyone else from our year now realises what comedy value he is.

And Hennie: ooh, yum yum.

Ally Pyle still looked as rough as a dog though.

My brief appearance wasn't intentional (I had to work late, the bastards), but made it easier for me to avoid the people I didn't want to speak to. Having said that, I still managed to end up having a stupidly long chat with Si Wade about god knows what. I also spoke to Anastasiou and Spears. Joy.

On the losing hair issue, I noticed that Ben Smart's head probably doesn't stay as warm as it used to.

Also, there was a bit of a discussion between Elly, Sammyboy and myself about the possible sexual orientation of Olly Procter. He always was a bit camp, but he now behaves like he is in the middle of a crap seventies sitcom.

Most of you may already be aware and not the least bit bothered but anyway:

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Haileybury Society - Forthcoming Events

2nd London Pub Event

Friday, 4 November 2005, 6-11 pm

The Corner Store, 33-35 Wellington Street,

Covent Garden, London, WC2E 7BN


Jonnyboy?

Yeah, go on then.

is this anything to do specifically with our year?

No, all OH's welcome.