Word.

Gentlemen - I propose a BBQ of immense proportions this summer to reunite all that is good and great in this world...namely US!

Sammy Star has kindly offered his premises for the venue.
Proposed datel: Friday, 2nd July.

A quorum of 10 should be sufficient to kick this shindig off into fantasmagorical hoopla overdrive...The idea is to see whether we can top that number. My wife and I shall most certainly make an appearance (unlike a certain birthday surprise that went a bit topsyturvy...feck). Sam informs me that The Ween Man, Pedro, King and Noj are certain to attend but a certain Barnowl, Mr Walker, Vacant Bassist and Doo are hit and miss on the certaintly scale.

What's the general feeling? Are you guys about?

BBQ. Stupendous idea. Count me in.

But why stop there??

Having conversed with the Spainard today I am doubly convinced that it is absolutely imperative to test whether govi, with his rhino-hair armoured chest-wig, is impervious to a well aimed point blank shot from a high velocity paintball gun.

I say he'll squeel like a stuck pig.

Friday sounds like a good day for the BBQ - because that means we STILL have the whole weekend afterwards! So - how about after this BBQ perhaps?

If you fancy we could up it to mine Saturday morning and either feck around there for a day (golf, pubs, film, punting(!) ) and go govi hunting on the Sunday or we could get right into it. Considering the fact that the BBQ might end at about 7am I'm predicting the day's rest could be appreciated.

I'll try and get prices for it - it's even more that the Quorm is filled as about a dozen is minimum for a decent paintball sesh.

Please pass on to Mrs. Dhar my insistance that she joins in. We'll even give her the honour of firing that testing chest shot....

And govi - the "Organised Crime" section is for this sort of stuff.

C'mon, get it right. Nyorp!

I have the Saturday, Sunday and Monday off...I'll see if I can swap a shift and work Friday morning instead and join in...in short I'll be there.

Friday is good, but the rest of the weekend is out for me, I'm afraid. I'm off on hols on Saturday (probably).

i'll not only be there, i'll be there and a half

especially as my formal title was used

Gentlemen - I have just found out that I have managed to shoot myself in the arseweifdoppleganger schweinhund arsenfecker. I had booked to do a surprise BBQ for Jyoti on the Saturday of that weekend. I have now put myself in the inextricable position of attending one BBQ after the other without vomiting. It seems I may have to pull out of one or the other?!

The crowd wonders 'what now?' what will happen next to the Amazing Govi Star...

shit.

Govi

What now? Will you go on without me? or will I try and squeeze massive stupid hangover ridden roadtrips across this vast wonderland we called Middle Girth? Seems like the only option...

Im open to suggestions gentlemen of the gallery...

(Drumroll)

Its going to be the road trip...

'Ill see you boys there!!!' - count the Dhars back in...woo hoo...yeah baby...high five...yo momma....yeah!!! (let me out)

And thus endeth another adventure in the life of:

The Amazing Govi Starrrrrrr

(Super Ted theme tune)

OH NO - woe is me? How ever will I get to sleep tonight after wrongly pigeonholing my electronic scribbling banter bollox on the Holy web? Naughty knuckle raps from the Master of Sums Mr Potter....snneeeeeee...ill show you where azerbakistan is - now if you'll just drop your trousers...

And thus a new fable story book was born.

Govi is great! Drink Govi's 'Love Juice' - what's the worst generation X real thing that could happen?

eh? eh?

Ahoy-hoy!

I'm glad you sorted that one out Gov and that the rest of us could play such a major part in the conversation you've just had with yourself. I actually thought you should cancel both BBQs and sit stroking your chest wig for a couple of days. Then people could amble past and give it a little tickle themselves.

NYORP! (as Dannyboy would say)

Yes.

Paraphrased voicemail message from Gov:

"Er... is the BBQ still on?"

Of course it is! I should point out that I might have to take the day off if its on a Friday (which I can do). Dannyboy has also put his house forward as a possible venue should mine not be available for whatever reason.

Bungwah!

The main people we need to hassle include: Noj, Mango, Williams, Drew etc

Well it did get a bit lonely for a while and when Govi gets lonely he talks to himself amongst other things.

So it's set.

What do I bring? I have just shorn the wig and the hair and have become in the words of Daft Punk - Aerodynamic Govi. Look out for a new line of sportswear near you.

I have a question?

Is 'Cheers' racialist against Arabs? Osama doesn't want to go where everybody knows his nay-ay-ame...

BOOM BOOM

thats crap...

govind get out, your hairy

one question, why the friday?

surely it makes it a hell of alot easier if its on the weekend as we dont have to take time off work

you fucking whore!

I agree. With 2 exceptions.

If its on the Saturday it means Govi* wont make it as he is getting loved up in surprise bbq land with Mrs Dhar. Could we pick another saturday perchance?

Also, I thought 'you fucking whore' was a tad harsh...

UgtWotiTtaks?

I agree with sam...it was a bit harsh.

You hurt my feelings. Not to mention my chest wig. And you're hairy too.

Right - Sammystar has got it in one - I'm all up for doing the Friday but if you guys want to do it the next Saturday Im good with that too. Splendid.

And it was a good joke too - FHM are printing it in Azerbaijan.

yo momma

Yes yes I'm in. Better making it the saturday for me. no guarantees I can make friday. Just keep me posted mother bitches!!!!

Don't think I can make the Saturday (definitely can't make the following weekend). But fine, have a barbecue without me, see if I care. I'll just have a better barbecue on my own, and you'll all be so jealous and wish you were there and you'll never have a barbecue without me again cos my barbecues are the best AND I won't let you play with my toys. So ner.

Sorry...don't know what came over me there.

And it's time for another joke:

What did the Bow Maker say to Robin Hood as he entered his shop!

Selecta Bo!

Get it.

Your mum thought it was funny.

Anyhow - it seems like its going to be Saturday 4th or no...go for it boys and girls...Im with Jonnyboy.

And yes...ner.

I don't know; I go away for 12 days and this place is taken over by some random fella who seems to have moulted all over the rugs...on your bed!

In short; weekend of July 2nd; good, any other time; bad.

(I have that weekend off)

I'm busy on Dec 25th so that date is out.

How many people have we actually got? Is paintball still viable? We need 12 people minimum really.

Paintball would probably be on the Sunday after a more relaxing (golf, bowling, film perhaps) Saturday up at mine - presuming the BBQ is in Hertford. I have just found out i have the house to myself only on the weekend and not Friday. Still possibly have the BBQ at mine but sams would now seem the better option.

Right.

Slight technical problem.

I will be out of the country July 1st-4th.

MAY I PROPOSE A NEW DATE TO SEE HOW MANY PEOPLE CAN MAKE IT?

Thank you.

The weekend Saturday 31st July & Sunday 1st August. Reunion. BBQ. Drinks. Golf. Halo. Pub. Flan. Jobbies. Effort type-ploys. Lambers. Wahey. Effort.

Rock and indeed Roll.

WARNING! Those who are in danger of losing Badgerfest membership due to lack of appearances: Noj, Williams, Gov

Those who have oversubscribed and we are fed up of the sight of them in Hertford:
Me, Pedro, Jonnyboy

Those who are at just the right frequency: Loren, King, Dan... keep up the good work chaps

fej that. How about we do both weekends?

I know Pete is dying to go for another round of Golf. So whoever wants to come up to cambridge for that weekend of July 3-4th feel free. Very casual affair but clothes are mandatory.

We'll crack open the "barbie mate" (isn't that ken?)

I'm guessing here:

Likely Attendees:
Pete
King
Woz

Confirmed Bandits:
Sam
Ploy
Gov

Natural Born Bandits:
Noj

The Dodgy Unknown:
Tart
Woz
Doo
Matt
Loren
Marno (who?)
etc (yes I've renamed you 'etc' because I've forgotten your name)

Then we'll do it all again when Sam get's back from nonEngland.

Howzat?
Dan

I can actually do both weekends...nice. I can't though get Badgerfest to work properly, it keeps warning me about access n stuff.

Right, lets get this straight.

2nd July:
Tart is back in the hood..
in which case tarts garden is as a good a candidate as any for summer happenings. so we can have a normal hertford type effort on friday evening, pitch and putt at ware or essendon golf place, followed by extreme system link halo and other type merryments.

probable people
woz
pedro
tart
jonboy
king
dan

probable muppets (i.e. people we have to badger)
doo
gov
noj
loren
williams
marnooth


it can be a trial run for the following weekend when 'the' sampie is back

At last I've found the mythical thread (thanks King (or at least i assume it was king(I can't remember and I can't be assed to go back and look))).

Don't be alarmed but i'm working friday til like 5.30 so even with extreme driving skills i'm not gonna be around til 10ish.

I mentioned to ween a small work related prob which could drop a small 3rd world country's spanner output into my part in our plans, but i'll try and avoid that. The buggers might want me to work that saturday.

Still for the moment strictly mauve alert, all systems go.

Tart

Having checked my busy diary...

Definatley no probs with dans projected BBQ date over ther july/august weekend.
That sound most like a plan of all the dodgy ideas that get throw around this place.

Tart

PS Remote Desktop is great, here i am using my own computer to type this when its actually across town at home, and i'm only two clicks from a work related desktop aswell. genius. rant over.

morning,
i can confirm that negotiations have been undertaken to ensure the arrival of orlandy this weekend.

one of my mates from uni should be able to make it too.

saturday is looking promising for a 10-player system link

Regret to inform that I will definitely NOT be available for mass Halo-age on Saturday. Off on hols. Next around on Sat 24th July.

Sounds good - and the bonus is I can actually drive to Tarts house without getting lost in Hertford! BoYAR

Reckon I'll be good for the gathering - although might need to take a few 'work timeouts' (how gay does that sound?).

Can someone clarify times? I too am not sure about getting down on Friday early. Might be more like 8ish for me. So if we're doing gold Saturday would naturally be my preference...and with sampie out of the way I am planning on dominating you all....in a strictly non-leather type way.

yeah i think saturday is the overwhelming dominance...

apart from jonboy being a a fecjing bandit

orlandy should be there too...

im reckoning bbq in tarts garden during the afternoon (weather permitting) and or sitting in a few pubs in hertford... then back to tarts house for the evening.

i need to chill after my first week at work!

Genteel Folks and Felch Straws

After a spectacular weekend at Galstonbury and much love to give and stories to tell I cannot actually be with you this weekend after suggesting the bloody thing myself. All sorts of things are go!!! Firstly, Jyoti passed her exams and is now a bonafide Doctor! Booyaka!

Secondly, we saw some fabulous acts at Glasto - Basement Jaxx, Oasis, Gomez (who rocked harder than hard), Black Rebel Motorcycle Club, Lamb, Badly Drawn Boy, Franz Ferdinand, Joss Stone, etc etc...fucking awesome...

Please refer to Organised Crime for details of wedding dates in Dubai in December...

Much love
Govi *