Scanning through the state of the union address, I came across this (actually quite funny, I thought) quote:

I was more amused with the tag line focusing on the environment of "oh by the way we use too much oil, do something about it although you won't see me downgrading from my boeing to a leer jet"

and

"yeah we are going to be victorious and all conquering over those weirdos who will run a different kind of democracy to ours in the middle east..where ever that is...."

hmmm i think it would have been more funny if someone had placed a land mine under his pedestal....(spelling!?)

besides isnt he the president and not clinton? you know the speech writer's gonna get it in the neck for that...!

Former Presidents are referred to as 'President', despite no longer being so. A kind of continuing honour I guess. So no maiming of the speechwriter is warranted I'm afraid.



You're probably right, although I just read the text - I didn't watch. It's amazing how much better his speeches are when he's not reading them.

On the spelling front: 10/10 for pedestal (great word too).
Not sure about 'hmmm' though. Recently I quite like to go 'hmmmmmmmmmm' or even, if I want to sound a bit put out, 'hm'.

when I am put out I prefer "hmpf." I feel that the "pf" really gets my point across.

When I listen to Bush speak, I prefer earplugs. But, my favorite section was really the intro where he stated:



so by every measure normally used? we're screwed. does that change Bush's opinion? hell no. It just prompts him to create the "Freedom Corps". Well done, Mr. President.

has anyone got hold of the animation about the badger that accidentally sets of the nuclear warheads? it was on the news tonight..award winning apparently....if you have it could you pass it on...i am hindered as cant remember the name of the animation or of the person that created it...typical.

i use "huh" when i am unimpressed and feeling cynical...

I thought the speech today was absolutely bonkers.

The whole anti-oil pro-environment thing was mental. Who is this guy and what has he done with the George Dubya we know and despise?

Especially the comment about 'oil coming from unstable middle eastern countries'. Er... you mean like Iraq which is now unstable because of America? Interesting.

Again, as I always say with things like this, I would love to have been a fly on the wall when they were running through the speech.

"So George, we're kinda thinkin that the whole Iraq/oil thing ain't workin out. So today you're gonna become a huge clean energy advocate and environmental saint. We think that might be a real vote winner"

I reckon someone slipped him the wrong speech and because he hasn't got a clue he just read it out. He did look slightly confused but then he always looks slightly confused.

Jon Stewart's Daily Show must have been a corker today.

And on the 'hmm' argument, I normally go for 'hmmmmpffpfpfhurrrummmpapapagghhhhhh!!!!!!!!!' just to get the message across.

Oh my God what have you done with my friends? You know; the ones whose most sophisticated discourse concerns the uses of badgers in combat and the eternal debate on whether or not we really need feet.

You can't throw me with the typical banter on the varying grunts that signal displeasure/dubiousnessnessecity. No, I'm far too sophistimicated for that.

Yours Truely

Michael 'King, Kingol, Kionglsolly' Simonds, 1 M&aD, BSc, RCS.

PS It's Minimum two Ms for dubious (hmm upwards) with increasing dubiosity for increasing Ms. For put out it's 'hmpf', surprised 'huh', karate chop 'hah', grizzly bear 'hurraaagh' and constipated 'hmmmmpffpfpfhurrrummmpapapagghhhhhh!!!!!!!!!'.

QED, OED & FBI

PPS I was surprised at the lack of badger legislation in GW's speech.

Surely there is some room here for 'Cheney's Got a Gun' jokes?

'cheney's got a gung and he can't use it' jokes you mean?'

How about ....

'Cheyney's aim is so shocking it'll give you a heart attack'

a bit weak but all could think of right now...

As in:

Cheney's got a gun
Cheney's got a gun
His whole world's come undone
From lookin' straight at the sun
What did his daddy do?
What did he put you through?
They say when Cheney was arrested
They found him underneath a train
But man, he had it comin'
Now that Cheney's got a gun
He ain't never gonna be the same


To the tune of 'Janie's got a gun' by Aerosmith...where's your rock knowledge?

How about:

'Cheney's a fucking twat, what moron gave him a gun? Wait, that's right... it was the whole of his fucking political party...let me go and get my gun'

or

'Ha ha ha...what a tosspiece'

Dick: "hey Harry I didn't see you there"

Harry: "Moron! Walk away Moron!" (at this juncture, Harry is attempting to create a walking 'm' by putting his two thumbs together, points them down and bunching the rest of his fingers into a fist apart from his index fingers)

Dick: "awww shucks harry you know I don't really care because I'm a bloodthirsty pig but don't be like that, Iam the Vice P after all!"

Harry: Says nothing due to being at deaths' door however is able to turn his "M" sign into a "w" after learning new obscenities on his recent trip to England.

this guy did well with the incident.

As a side note, Pete and I made up this imaginary conversation (taking a line from an actual Fox interview with Cheney)

Interviewer: Mr. Vice-President, the only conceivable way you could have mistaken this 78 year old man for a bird was if you had been drinking. Were you plastered?

Cheney: Never mix alcohol and hunting. It's not safe.

Interviewer: My point exactly. When you mix alcohol and hunting, someone gets mistaken for a bird and shot in the face.

Cheney: (nods)

Lib Dem election anybody? Anyone care?

Personally I think Ming is obviously most experienced but a bit crusty. Hughes also experienced but a bit wishy-washy and creepy. Huhne - no experience but quite presentable in a David Cameron stylee. Likely winner? Probably Huhne.

I'd forgotten about that, it's all died down since the straight guy got caught being a gay guy and a gay guy admitted to being gay, very Little Britainesque.

They should have stuck with Charles Kennedy. Doesn't matter to me whether he's an alcoholic or not - I wouldn't vote Lib Dem either way.

What's the correct pronunciation of Menzies?

ones that I've heard:

a)Ming
b)Ming-es (ha!)

should I have been referring to John Menzies the store as John Minges, its all quite confusing.

the answer is ...

minger

so john mingers...ok?

Pete and Jonnyboy will probably enjoy this...

Gov: sorry there is no porn in this post

>>>

Oh dear, the perils of foreign affairs

Armando Iannucci
Sunday April 9, 2006
The Observer


Why we won't go to war with Iran: Foreign Secretary Jack Straw writes for The Observer

1 I meet a lot of people in my role as Foreign Secretary and quite a lot of them are from around the world. The one thing they all ask me is: 'What's Condoleezza Rice like?' I've got to say, she's charming, witty and intelligent. She's also black, which I think is fabulous. For all these reasons, I'm certain America will not go to war with Iran, nor would we join them in any planned air strike if they did, which they're not going to do, as I said.

2 If America did go to war with Iran, which they won't, but let's just say for the sake of pointless argument they did, then would Britain go to war with Iran with them? Let me make it absolutely clear that Tony Blair has made it absolutely clear that this is on balance pretty unlikely.

I mentioned this to Condoleezza and she said: 'How unlikely?' and I said: 'Pretty', then, realising what I'd just said, blushed, and she said: '"Pretty" is good enough for me' and walked back into her room, which just demonstrates the laser-like commitment to detail this marvellous politician exudes at all times. As Condoleezza left, the faint scent of peach blossom lingered in the air, a too-quickly dispersing waft of fragrance hanging like a cloud of hope in the night-time hotel corridor of wartorn central Baghdad. I took to my own bed thoroughly satisfied. With her answer.

3 There is as yet no reason to go to war with Iran because they have not provided us with one. And even if they did, would we spot it? You see, they're so devious, this Iranian regime, that they would be perfectly capable of hiding the very reasons we should go to war with them. So devious, in fact, that this is exactly why a lot of people are suggesting we go to war with them. Which is why I think we should counter their bluff by not falling for it. It's an argument I'm more than happy to put to the Americans or something approximating to it, anyway. I've already mentioned it to Condoleezza Rice and she's said it's certainly an interesting point of view, so I think I'm making some headway there.

4 So, let me utterly reiterate. Under no circumstances will we go to war with Iran. If, however, we were to, it would only be under one circumstance and one, as you know, is so near none as to make no difference. I mean, all you have to do is remove the 'n.' However, let me be quite categorical. If, at some time in the future, there seems a likelihood of America preparing to go to war with Iran, I undertake to fly out there for more talks with Condoleezza Rice. Between us, I know we can hammer this thing through. This lady may be a tough cookie, but she's also a lady.

5 At long last, winter is over, the freeze has calmed, bluebells give way to daffodils. Why spoil it?

6 For there to be a war with Iran, it would have to have the support of the government and at the moment it only has the support of Tony Blair. So, we're some way off. Where is the support of Alun Michael or Margaret Beckett? Their views would also have to be taken into consideration. (To be fair to Margaret, I haven't asked her what her views are and she may well be in favour, so perhaps that's a bad example.) Anyway, Margaret is not someone I'd put on the same par as Condoleezza Rice, if you know what I mean.

7 It's a fact America has no immediate intention of going to war with Iran soon. I've raised the matter with Condoleezza Rice. I've sat down eyeball to magnificent eyeball with her and said: 'Can you say categorically that America will not go to war with Iran?' And she's looked back at me with those deep, blue, mysterious yet focused eyes, their gaze warming the sinews of any full-blooded companion badgered by the stresses and strains of high office. I cannot remember her answer. That's the effect she has on you. Amazing woman. And intelligent, too. As she has every right to be. Marvellous.

Oi - how dare you?

No porn in this post...

No piccies of Condoleeza Rice in some interracial action with Dubya and Cheney shooting up in the corner.

The White House could do with some gonzo porn!

Yes...politics...interesting - now we might have a war in the Middle East (you don't say)...Israel-Palestine....Any bets on who'll win? I think the rock paper nuclear warhead conversation will have some relevance in this chat...

On a slightly more sombre note (sorry guys), this is for anyone who may remember Rich Palmer, Head of House for Edmonstone 1996-1997. A top man. Noj may be the only one who remembers him. Incidentally his Dad (John) was Bursar for a bit. Big eyebrows.

Rich Palmer

Tis' a pity - know the name but don't th ink I knew the chap...

On a happier note, this made me chuckle - the fucker looks just like the Dubbya!
Dubbya Dubbya

Govi*

Prime Minister's Question Time is always good for a laugh. You can watch it every Wednesday on the BBC Parliament website.

Today they were all having a go at Blair over the Charles Clarke/Deportation debacle. Cameron is ok but he's no William Hague. It kinda sounds like he's going to burst into tears at any moment.

What makes me laugh is the John Prescott affair. Women throwing themselves at him! Haha! You gotta have a screw loose surely to have an affair with John Prescott.

Comments on the above.

he looks like the runt of the london zoo panda family...

i would if it meant i never had to work again though....call me shallow....

but...pandas are cute.


shallow? One-offs are always tempting. A few weeks of therapy and you're fine. But what if you had to 3 times a week for 10 years? Not so easy now huh?

i'd have suffocated before then....

And here I was feeling bad for putting so many airbags on my poll thread?

How can you guys talk about sex with Prescott for so long? Rosie have you even begun to imagine his northern grunting, rutting and slobbering?

Jehoosifash and YUCK!

Ahem

ahah - great find King

Govi - "Rutting"
Classy word.

Dubya

If he gets stuck you can move him with your cursor.

Have fun!

He's surprisingly limber.

It's the occasional accidental moments of balletic grace which come just before he mullers himself head-first into another bubble that make me laugh.

Oddly addicting.

Is there any way of making this Dubya thing a screensaver? I would find considerable joy in that, having just had a look I agree with the concensus that it is quite hypnotic.

Also useful for moments of tension, one can grab him with the cursor (oooerr!) and fling him against some bubbles, before letting him continue falling, its quite enjoyable


cheers dear.

Terrorist T-shirt

Interested to know what you guys think of this story. I'm particularly interested in what the official had to say to the passenger about wearing a T-shirt with Arabic script on it.

Click here to watch Blair's speech to the TUC. Predictable, mostly dull content aside, I think this is one of the best delivered speeches I have seen Blair deliver in ages. He seems to have got rid of his annoying habit of pausing randomly in the middle of sentences. I'm not sure if this is because he has realised how irritating it is or whether it was because he was in a hurry to get out of the TUC conference (and let's face it, who could blame him).
Thoughts?