Yep; that's it; all done; I am now the proud owner of a nice little pad (with indoor bathing facilities) in Camberley. I also have no money but that's to be expected. I've got they keys and start moving my stuff tomorrow. Once I'm done I shall issue instructions for a staggered gathering (there is only one bedroom) and we shall celebrate in the style to which you are accustomed...

Bo.

Congratulations on moving into 'Bachelor's Bottom'......or should that be 'Batchelor Towers?' I forgot to ask whether you were on top or underneath.

Anyway, work those culinary muscles boyo - i want to be FED in the style to which I am accustomed when I stop in..

Beans on toast?

toad in the hole flambé?

Towers. Thank-you. If I ever find my cookery books you shall have a feast...I'm not sure if we'll need to flambé the batter as I have not tried my oven-come-microwave circa 1986 yet. We shall see.

ok. Just don't use the pie dish on the hob though - oh but you know that already.

Please observe Toad in the Hole Flambe, finished on the hob a la Christopher and Michael....

I, unlike some people, possess a toad-in-the-hole sized tin, that would survive an attack of the hobs and (probably) not burst into flames.

I'm sure I could find something else to do wrong...like set the oven to microwave my metal instead of roast.

If its any consolation, my neighbours tried to blow me up a couple of weeks ago. They dislodged their stove pipe thingy and fell asleep in the living room while their flat filled with gas.....ho ho, how we laughed.

...so are they dead then?

I don't think there's much life down there at the best of times...

No, they're still alive. You can still smell them enjoying a relaxing 'menthol' in the early hours of the morning.