govinddhar
19-Mar-08, 11:19
Stop everything you're doing right now, set your VCRs or reel to reel on timer, Raef Bjayou has made his way onto the next season of The Apprentice.
Time Article-RaefPlease please please read through the contestants and see what he's said. I'm expecting choice quotes to go up here.
He is taking the piss to a new level.
YAY!
jonnyploy
19-Mar-08, 13:01
Holy fuckola, I will so be series-linking that bad boy.
"(I'm) priceless, absolutely priceless"
He's never said a truer word...and I thought nothing could induce me to watch this crap. Oh well.
A review already!
"The boys mess up big time - but Raef stands out as an ace a***hole amongst a group of unlikeable apprentices (which, let's face it, is what we want)."
Go Bjayou!!
http://www.thedailygoss.com/gossip/meet-th...alking/0002122/
jonnyploy
19-Mar-08, 14:58
One of the other contestants in particular appears to be a total c**t - Nicholas De Lacy Brown. Check out his
website.
i was informed of this momentous event by the sampie just now.
holy jehooosifa!
I will spend the rest of the day now laughing to myself whilst remembering the legend and the myth of Biyaaaaayoo!
My initial theory, is that raef, tired of conquering the mass-debating world, is now set to return to his former profession of gigolo/juggler.
This level of exposure on the top bbc show will allow raef to romance even more women and impregnate even more than he already has done, believed to be about 10,000 at the last count.
govinddhar
19-Mar-08, 15:13
I just can't stop laughing everytime I think about him on the show. I can't wait to fucking see it.
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
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hahahahahahahahahahaha
i'd also like to remind everyone of the comedic talents of Raef. Everyone must have heard of his part in the comedy show that was a greer double geography lesson.
Greer: Right, er Raef (checks marking book), it seems that er I haven't had any work from you for er, this year........
[all assembled (including myself, as i hadn't been asked to leave at this point), turn to look at the figure of Bjayou, who is furiously flicking through a mass of papers at the back of his textbook]
Raef: Yes sir, i'm sure it's somewhere here, i'll just look for it....
Greer: mmm, considerably......then.
The End.
all we need now is a documentary of 'texas' pete greer!
jonnyploy
20-Mar-08, 0:17
QUOTE(King @ 19-Mar-08, 18:14)
Most interesting. I read this very same article earlier today and it has since been edited. The final sentence previously said 'what this entrepreneur
-cum-tosspot is made of'. Perhaps they thought better of that particular comment, although entrepreneur-cum-tosspot would be an awesome job title.
jonnyploy
20-Mar-08, 14:43
It gets better and better.
Check out the video on the
BBC Website.
this should be quality...
i also like this bit
QUOTE
The website looks legit, if a bit vague. âHere at Infinitate Limited we believe in our clients⦠we give your products the attention they deserve, attention that other companies fail to give. â
Infinitate Limited - interesting choice of company name
RosieBear
20-Mar-08, 19:41
QUOTE(jonnyploy @ 20-Mar-08, 14:43)
It gets better and better.
Check out the video on the
BBC Website.
Having watched this video I would like to enter my opinion on these people: Boring. In fact I think those men (!?) would be far more interesting if you stuffed them in stocks, forced them to wear polkadot all in ones and proceeded to throw squishy tomatoes at them every time they stop reciting the line 'I'm a bum hole licking self obsessed dullard'. Also, one of them looks like George Dawes. The end.
jonnyploy
21-Mar-08, 15:07
QUOTE
Boring. In fact I think those men (!?) would be far more interesting if you stuffed them in stocks, forced them to wear polkadot all in ones and proceeded to throw squishy tomatoes at them every time they stop reciting the line 'I'm a bum hole licking self obsessed dullard'.
I agree totally, although I think that most people, including me, would be more interesting if you forced them to do the above. Perhaps it can be the next big BBC program.
govinddhar
22-Mar-08, 8:44
This just in from James 'The Schlongadong' Carter.
'Learning of this Apprentice situation has made my day.
Raef Bjayou is an enigma wrapped in an enigma.
I do believe this is a National Security situation though. I have
always believed Raef was a Persian Spy (codename Echo Indigo Alpha
Xray, or E-IAX) and he now has the opportunity to conduct mass
industrial espionage. Infiltrating the heart of British
technology...Amstrad!
Bullshit + Frivolity + Manic Gesticulation + Beautiful Hair +
Nervousness in the face of Authority + Impressive guffaw + Pent up
energy = Hailyburys son.....Raef Bjayou.'
I think the two would make a terffic double act.
RadioTimes linkGives you a run down of the contestants, numbered 1-16
QUOTE
4. Raef Bjayal, 27
An entrepreneur - who was once a guest on Question Time - Raef thinks he has "incredible charisma". He says, "I'm absolutely priceless."
And we all shout
"...But sir!, its Bjayou!..."
Ha ha, awesome, just saw him. Genius.
edit: '...things that would challenge mere mortals...'
He is king pimp.
The Times Online has a review of the ep.
I particularly lke the description of Raef having "...a dangerous quiff and vowels so plummy he made Noel Coward seem a chav."
jonnyploy
27-Mar-08, 13:54
On a less highbrow note, The Mirror described him as having 'two hairstyles - one on top of the other'.
His mighty mighty quifflet has been a real talking point at work bizarrely.
RosieBear
27-Mar-08, 18:09
okay okay, even though I slagged off the programme I still watched it, (curiosity got the better of me) and the whole thing was very amusing. My comments are thus;
1. Im really pleased that self centred plummy twat was voted off and that your pal Raef wasnt as he was very entertaining
2. The hamster comment at the very end was, indeed *priceless*
jonnyploy
27-Mar-08, 18:40
From realbusiness.co.uk:
Personally, I'm most cheered by the cult following that "entrepreneur" Raef Bjayou already seems to be garnering. Looking strangely reminiscent of seventies soap icon Kate O'Mara, our entrepreneurial friend got the biggest cheer of the night in Adrian Childs' follow-on programme on BBC2, The Apprentice - You're Fired. With his extraordinarily loooooooong, drawn-out phrasing, quite frankly mad hair, and deliciously snooty references to other "mere mortals", I think we may have a star entrepreneur on our hands.
HolyMolyRaef is already a celebrity....
some of the comments are genius though...
QUOTE
Alan Sugar pisses me off. The nepotistic, wannabe hardman, only-famous-for-one-fucked-up-computer bastard. His catchphrase should be "You're fired. And I'm a cunt."
jonnyploy
1-Apr-08, 23:07
Raef is going to be a team leader this week.
govinddhar
3-Apr-08, 11:41
I beat any news on this - The Daily Mirror got in touch with some our classmates on Friend Reunited asking for stories on Raef facing death in the face of face-off challenge face faces.
Sam - do you remember Raef's impressions of Mr Ross?
govinddhar
10-Jun-08, 21:45
Sammystar has just told me he wasn't aware of this little gem from Turnbull on Raef.
Check it one time.
Shocking, sad and pathetic. Completely unnecessary.
Turnbull being a twat
Ha ha, what a wonderful endorsement of our, very expensive, school.
Hello, yes we have vindictive, spiteful teachers, come and spend 60 grand with us.
"...Turnbull told the Daily Star Sunday..."
what a knob, he could at least have had some credit and spoken to the Daily Sport
i always hated trotski
RosieBear
12-Jun-08, 22:11
QUOTE(govinddhar @ 10-Jun-08, 21:45)
Sammystar has just told me he wasn't aware of this little gem from Turnbull on Raef.
Check it one time.
Shocking, sad and pathetic. Completely unnecessary.
Turnbull being a twatand from a teacher's viewpoint it's competely unprofessional. He should have a loyalty to kids he's cared for and protect their privacy even if he didnt like raef - either you congratulate them or you dont say anything - in the public domain that is anyway.
did anyone see raef on 8 out of 10 cats on friday...
he came across quite well. its on 4od if you missed it
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