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Full Version: STOP PRESS! RAEF BJAYOU on The Apprentice!
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govinddhar
Stop everything you're doing right now, set your VCRs or reel to reel on timer, Raef Bjayou has made his way onto the next season of The Apprentice.

Time Article-Raef

Please please please read through the contestants and see what he's said. I'm expecting choice quotes to go up here.

He is taking the piss to a new level.

YAY!
jonnyploy
Holy fuckola, I will so be series-linking that bad boy.
King
"(I'm) priceless, absolutely priceless"

He's never said a truer word...and I thought nothing could induce me to watch this crap. Oh well.
DanSon
A review already!

"The boys mess up big time - but Raef stands out as an ace a***hole amongst a group of unlikeable apprentices (which, let's face it, is what we want)."

Go Bjayou!!

http://www.thedailygoss.com/gossip/meet-th...alking/0002122/
jonnyploy
One of the other contestants in particular appears to be a total c**t - Nicholas De Lacy Brown. Check out his website.
Loz
i was informed of this momentous event by the sampie just now.

holy jehooosifa!

I will spend the rest of the day now laughing to myself whilst remembering the legend and the myth of Biyaaaaayoo!

My initial theory, is that raef, tired of conquering the mass-debating world, is now set to return to his former profession of gigolo/juggler.

This level of exposure on the top bbc show will allow raef to romance even more women and impregnate even more than he already has done, believed to be about 10,000 at the last count.



govinddhar
I just can't stop laughing everytime I think about him on the show. I can't wait to fucking see it.

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
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Loz
i'd also like to remind everyone of the comedic talents of Raef. Everyone must have heard of his part in the comedy show that was a greer double geography lesson.

Greer: Right, er Raef (checks marking book), it seems that er I haven't had any work from you for er, this year........

[all assembled (including myself, as i hadn't been asked to leave at this point), turn to look at the figure of Bjayou, who is furiously flicking through a mass of papers at the back of his textbook]

Raef: Yes sir, i'm sure it's somewhere here, i'll just look for it....

Greer: mmm, considerably......then.

The End.

all we need now is a documentary of 'texas' pete greer!
King
He seems to be getting rather a lot of the attention:

http://www.realbusiness.co.uk/business-com...pprentice.thtml

jonnyploy
QUOTE(King @ 19-Mar-08, 18:14)
He seems to be getting rather a lot of the attention:

http://www.realbusiness.co.uk/business-com...pprentice.thtml
*


Most interesting. I read this very same article earlier today and it has since been edited. The final sentence previously said 'what this entrepreneur-cum-tosspot is made of'. Perhaps they thought better of that particular comment, although entrepreneur-cum-tosspot would be an awesome job title.
jonnyploy
It gets better and better.

Check out the video on the BBC Website.
TheWoz
this should be quality...

i also like this bit
QUOTE
The website looks legit, if a bit vague. “Here at Infinitate Limited we believe in our clients… we give your products the attention they deserve, attention that other companies fail to give. “


Infinitate Limited - interesting choice of company name
RosieBear
QUOTE(jonnyploy @ 20-Mar-08, 14:43)
It gets better and better.

Check out the video on the BBC Website.
*




Having watched this video I would like to enter my opinion on these people: Boring. In fact I think those men (!?) would be far more interesting if you stuffed them in stocks, forced them to wear polkadot all in ones and proceeded to throw squishy tomatoes at them every time they stop reciting the line 'I'm a bum hole licking self obsessed dullard'. Also, one of them looks like George Dawes. The end. ohmy.gif
jonnyploy
QUOTE
Boring. In fact I think those men (!?) would be far more interesting if you stuffed them in stocks, forced them to wear polkadot all in ones and proceeded to throw squishy tomatoes at them every time they stop reciting the line 'I'm a bum hole licking self obsessed dullard'.

I agree totally, although I think that most people, including me, would be more interesting if you forced them to do the above. Perhaps it can be the next big BBC program.
govinddhar
This just in from James 'The Schlongadong' Carter.

'Learning of this Apprentice situation has made my day.

Raef Bjayou is an enigma wrapped in an enigma.

I do believe this is a National Security situation though. I have
always believed Raef was a Persian Spy (codename Echo Indigo Alpha
Xray, or E-IAX) and he now has the opportunity to conduct mass
industrial espionage. Infiltrating the heart of British
technology...Amstrad!

Bullshit + Frivolity + Manic Gesticulation + Beautiful Hair +
Nervousness in the face of Authority + Impressive guffaw + Pent up
energy = Hailyburys son.....Raef Bjayou.'

I think the two would make a terffic double act.
TheWoz
RadioTimes link

Gives you a run down of the contestants, numbered 1-16

QUOTE
4. Raef Bjayal, 27

An entrepreneur - who was once a guest on Question Time - Raef thinks he has "incredible charisma". He says, "I'm absolutely priceless."


And we all shout

"...But sir!, its Bjayou!..."
noj
Ha ha, awesome, just saw him. Genius.

edit: '...things that would challenge mere mortals...'

He is king pimp.
King
The Times Online has a review of the ep.

I particularly lke the description of Raef having "...a dangerous quiff and vowels so plummy he made Noel Coward seem a chav."
jonnyploy
On a less highbrow note, The Mirror described him as having 'two hairstyles - one on top of the other'.
noj
His mighty mighty quifflet has been a real talking point at work bizarrely.
RosieBear
okay okay, even though I slagged off the programme I still watched it, (curiosity got the better of me) and the whole thing was very amusing. My comments are thus;

1. Im really pleased that self centred plummy twat was voted off and that your pal Raef wasnt as he was very entertaining
2. The hamster comment at the very end was, indeed *priceless*

wink.gif
jonnyploy
From realbusiness.co.uk:

Personally, I'm most cheered by the cult following that "entrepreneur" Raef Bjayou already seems to be garnering. Looking strangely reminiscent of seventies soap icon Kate O'Mara, our entrepreneurial friend got the biggest cheer of the night in Adrian Childs' follow-on programme on BBC2, The Apprentice - You're Fired. With his extraordinarily loooooooong, drawn-out phrasing, quite frankly mad hair, and deliciously snooty references to other "mere mortals", I think we may have a star entrepreneur on our hands.
TheWoz
HolyMoly

Raef is already a celebrity....

some of the comments are genius though...

QUOTE
Alan Sugar pisses me off. The nepotistic, wannabe hardman, only-famous-for-one-fucked-up-computer bastard. His catchphrase should be "You're fired. And I'm a cunt."
jonnyploy
Raef is going to be a team leader this week.
govinddhar
I beat any news on this - The Daily Mirror got in touch with some our classmates on Friend Reunited asking for stories on Raef facing death in the face of face-off challenge face faces.

Sam - do you remember Raef's impressions of Mr Ross?
govinddhar
Sammystar has just told me he wasn't aware of this little gem from Turnbull on Raef.

Check it one time.

Shocking, sad and pathetic. Completely unnecessary.
Turnbull being a twat
noj
Ha ha, what a wonderful endorsement of our, very expensive, school.

Hello, yes we have vindictive, spiteful teachers, come and spend 60 grand with us.
TheWoz
"...Turnbull told the Daily Star Sunday..."

what a knob, he could at least have had some credit and spoken to the Daily Sport
i always hated trotski
King
Raef interview by The Guardian
RosieBear
QUOTE(govinddhar @ 10-Jun-08, 21:45)
Sammystar has just told me he wasn't aware of this little gem from Turnbull on Raef.

Check it one time.

Shocking, sad and pathetic.  Completely unnecessary.
Turnbull being a twat
*




and from a teacher's viewpoint it's competely unprofessional. He should have a loyalty to kids he's cared for and protect their privacy even if he didnt like raef - either you congratulate them or you dont say anything - in the public domain that is anyway.
TheWoz
did anyone see raef on 8 out of 10 cats on friday...

he came across quite well. its on 4od if you missed it
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