Full Version: LOTR:TTT EE
On another note check out this guy's website film reviews. He rates films not on how good they are but on how 'Christian' look up South Park...I thought it was fecking funny.
This thread is rapidly becoming 'Links to things that made me laugh'...oh well, try this:
Empire Forum thread.
LMFAO as they say.
Empire Forum thread.
LMFAO as they say.
I love the Christian site King. My favorite bit so far is the review of American Psycho, where under Offense to God he lists two cases of abbreviating Christmas to Xmas. Classic.
Also classic is the review of Cruel Intentions, which he walked out of after 22 minutes, but decided to try his rating system on those 22 minutes: 'As with anything Jesus builds, it worked well - very well'. Other fantastic quote: 'But the worst part of it all was I could 'feel' the childhood of those youngsters being ripped from them...and it hurt.' I love this site!
Also classic is the review of Cruel Intentions, which he walked out of after 22 minutes, but decided to try his rating system on those 22 minutes: 'As with anything Jesus builds, it worked well - very well'. Other fantastic quote: 'But the worst part of it all was I could 'feel' the childhood of those youngsters being ripped from them...and it hurt.' I love this site!
Well I try my best.
Ok not a link but...
Haha...hahaha...phew!
QUOTE
I joined the RS (Re-incarnation Society) about 2 years ago, although the memebership fees were �400 a year.
A lot of money I know, but I thought fuck it, you only live once.
A lot of money I know, but I thought fuck it, you only live once.
Haha...hahaha...phew!
QUOTE
Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
Well?
Rubberband guns
I particularly like the part where it says that these are not toys, and so can only be used on a licenced firing range.
I particularly like the part where it says that these are not toys, and so can only be used on a licenced firing range.
The rubber band gatling gun has that beat. Not very portable though.
I quite fancy an airzooka like what Tart was telling me about...not the bird though!
Atypical episode of The Crystal Maze:
ZONE: MEDIEVAL
O'BRIEN:
Okay team, we've been to . . .
TEAM:
THREE ZONES!
O'BRIEN:
And you have . . .
TEAM:
FOUR CRYSTALS!
O'BRIEN:
Yes, I'm amazed, too. That means that you have . . .
TEAM attempts to multiply four by five in their heads. ONE WITH GLASSES (O.W.G.) has got too excited with the previous yelling and can't answer because he's trying to get his breath back.
O'BRIEN:
T . . . w . . . ent . . .
TEAM:
TWENTY!
O'BRIEN:
Yes, twenty seconds. Now, Team Captain Brian.
TEAM CAPTAIN BRIAN proudly puffs out his chest at the call of his title and name.
O'BRIEN:
We have time for one more game before we got to the Crystal Dome, what do you want to do?
TEAM CAPTAIN BRIAN:
I think we'll have a mental, and Jane will play for us.
Bubbly JANE with her permed blonde hair bounces happily at the call of her name.
O'BRIEN:
How appropriate for a mental. Jane, come this way . . .
O'BRIEN holds JANE's hand and runs. The rest of the team start wildly sprinting after them with the child-like glee of trying to win the race to the best window. With a final burst of speed TEAM CAPTAIN BRIAN wins and has a proud smirk on his face for the next minute.
O'BRIEN:
This is a three-minute game, try not to get locked in if you can, and in you go.
JANE runs in and O'BRIEN closes the door.
TEAM CAPTAIN BRIAN:
What can you see, Jane?
JANE:
There's a table . . . some rope . . . and the crystal!
TEAM:
GET THE CRYSTAL! GET THE CRYSTAL!
JANE runs and grabs the crystal, admiring her own cleverness when a door crashes between her and the exit.
JANE:
Oh my God! I can't get out!
JANE puts the crystal back on the table.
O.W.G:
How much time has she got left?
O'BRIEN:
Two and a half minutes.
O.W.G:
COME OUT, JANE! COME OUT!
TEAM CAPTAIN BRIAN:
What's there with you Jane?
JANE:
There's some gears . . . a rope . . . some pieces of wood sticking out of the wall . . . AND THE CRYSTAL! I'VE FOUND THE CRYSTAL!
TEAM:
GET THE CRYSTAL, JANE! GET THE CRYSTAL!
JANE picks up the crystal again.
TEAM:
GET OUT!
JANE
There's a door!
O'BRIEN:
You need to open the door. Look at what you have to help you get out.
JANE:
I know! I'll attach the gears to the table legs and roll the table into the door like a battering ram!
TEAM CAPTAIN BRIAN:
No, Jane! You need to use the rope. Attach the rope to the ceiling and swing yourself into the door!
ANOTHER TEAM MEMBER:
No, she needs to use the gears and the table. Attach the gears to the table, the rope to the ceiling and the table to the rope and swing it into the door.
O.W.G:
How long has she got left?
O'BRIEN (losing the will to live):
One minute.
O.W.G:
GET OUT, JANE! GET OUT!
JANE tries to climb through the window on her side of the room, but the metal bars are tougher to bend than she expected.
O'BRIEN:
For fuck's sake.
O'BRIEN storms in, opens the door to JANE, gives her a cold state, proceeds to attach the gears to the sticks, the rope to the gears and door, re-opens the door, gives JANE another cold stare and leaves.
O.W.G:
How long has she got left?
O'BRIEN:
Thirty seconds.
O.W.G:
GET OUT! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, GET OUT!
TEAM:
THE CRYSTAL! GET THE CRYSTAL!
JANE:
Where?
TEAM:
THE TABLE!
JANE looks under the table.
TEAM:
NO, THE TABLE!
JANE looks around the table legs.
O.W.G:
HOW LONG, DAMMIT?!
O'BRIEN (face in hands):
Fifteen seconds.
O.W.G:
GET OOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUTTTTT!
O.W.G. passes out from too much excitement. JANE is spinning around in a circle hopping to spot the crystal until she collapses with dizziness.
O'BRIEN:
Three . . . two . . . one.
He locks the door. The team sighs.
TEAM CAPTAIN BRIAN:
So close, so close.
ANOTHER TEAM MEMBER:
That was impossible to do in three minutes.
O'BRIEN:
Yes, well, Team Captain Brian, you have four crystals giving you twenty seconds. You also have three of your team locked inside and one other passed out. What are you going to do?
TEAM CAPTAIN BRIAN puffs out his chest again. He assumes the demeanour of a true leader of the people: an equal to William Wallace, Henry V and David Platt.
TEAM CAPTAIN BRIAN:
We started as a team, Richard, and we'll end as a team.
O'BRIEN:
You must realise that gives you five seconds in the Crystal Dome to collect 100 gold tokens after deducting the silver ones collected on the way.
TEAM CAPTAIN BRIAN:
I have faith in this team, Richard, ever since I first met them at the National Convention For The Colour Blind.
O'BRIEN (ripping off his ear-piece):
THAT'S IT! I QUIT!
CAMERAMAN:
What about the show, Richard?
O'BRIEN
I don't care anymore! I know this upper-class git that dresses like a gay pirate who can take over. Believe me, you'll be better off without me. (To team) And thank you for making me realise that there is no hope for humankind.
O.W.G. regains consciousness.
O.W.G. (Groggily):
How much time has she got left?
ZONE: MEDIEVAL
O'BRIEN:
Okay team, we've been to . . .
TEAM:
THREE ZONES!
O'BRIEN:
And you have . . .
TEAM:
FOUR CRYSTALS!
O'BRIEN:
Yes, I'm amazed, too. That means that you have . . .
TEAM attempts to multiply four by five in their heads. ONE WITH GLASSES (O.W.G.) has got too excited with the previous yelling and can't answer because he's trying to get his breath back.
O'BRIEN:
T . . . w . . . ent . . .
TEAM:
TWENTY!
O'BRIEN:
Yes, twenty seconds. Now, Team Captain Brian.
TEAM CAPTAIN BRIAN proudly puffs out his chest at the call of his title and name.
O'BRIEN:
We have time for one more game before we got to the Crystal Dome, what do you want to do?
TEAM CAPTAIN BRIAN:
I think we'll have a mental, and Jane will play for us.
Bubbly JANE with her permed blonde hair bounces happily at the call of her name.
O'BRIEN:
How appropriate for a mental. Jane, come this way . . .
O'BRIEN holds JANE's hand and runs. The rest of the team start wildly sprinting after them with the child-like glee of trying to win the race to the best window. With a final burst of speed TEAM CAPTAIN BRIAN wins and has a proud smirk on his face for the next minute.
O'BRIEN:
This is a three-minute game, try not to get locked in if you can, and in you go.
JANE runs in and O'BRIEN closes the door.
TEAM CAPTAIN BRIAN:
What can you see, Jane?
JANE:
There's a table . . . some rope . . . and the crystal!
TEAM:
GET THE CRYSTAL! GET THE CRYSTAL!
JANE runs and grabs the crystal, admiring her own cleverness when a door crashes between her and the exit.
JANE:
Oh my God! I can't get out!
JANE puts the crystal back on the table.
O.W.G:
How much time has she got left?
O'BRIEN:
Two and a half minutes.
O.W.G:
COME OUT, JANE! COME OUT!
TEAM CAPTAIN BRIAN:
What's there with you Jane?
JANE:
There's some gears . . . a rope . . . some pieces of wood sticking out of the wall . . . AND THE CRYSTAL! I'VE FOUND THE CRYSTAL!
TEAM:
GET THE CRYSTAL, JANE! GET THE CRYSTAL!
JANE picks up the crystal again.
TEAM:
GET OUT!
JANE
There's a door!
O'BRIEN:
You need to open the door. Look at what you have to help you get out.
JANE:
I know! I'll attach the gears to the table legs and roll the table into the door like a battering ram!
TEAM CAPTAIN BRIAN:
No, Jane! You need to use the rope. Attach the rope to the ceiling and swing yourself into the door!
ANOTHER TEAM MEMBER:
No, she needs to use the gears and the table. Attach the gears to the table, the rope to the ceiling and the table to the rope and swing it into the door.
O.W.G:
How long has she got left?
O'BRIEN (losing the will to live):
One minute.
O.W.G:
GET OUT, JANE! GET OUT!
JANE tries to climb through the window on her side of the room, but the metal bars are tougher to bend than she expected.
O'BRIEN:
For fuck's sake.
O'BRIEN storms in, opens the door to JANE, gives her a cold state, proceeds to attach the gears to the sticks, the rope to the gears and door, re-opens the door, gives JANE another cold stare and leaves.
O.W.G:
How long has she got left?
O'BRIEN:
Thirty seconds.
O.W.G:
GET OUT! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, GET OUT!
TEAM:
THE CRYSTAL! GET THE CRYSTAL!
JANE:
Where?
TEAM:
THE TABLE!
JANE looks under the table.
TEAM:
NO, THE TABLE!
JANE looks around the table legs.
O.W.G:
HOW LONG, DAMMIT?!
O'BRIEN (face in hands):
Fifteen seconds.
O.W.G:
GET OOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUTTTTT!
O.W.G. passes out from too much excitement. JANE is spinning around in a circle hopping to spot the crystal until she collapses with dizziness.
O'BRIEN:
Three . . . two . . . one.
He locks the door. The team sighs.
TEAM CAPTAIN BRIAN:
So close, so close.
ANOTHER TEAM MEMBER:
That was impossible to do in three minutes.
O'BRIEN:
Yes, well, Team Captain Brian, you have four crystals giving you twenty seconds. You also have three of your team locked inside and one other passed out. What are you going to do?
TEAM CAPTAIN BRIAN puffs out his chest again. He assumes the demeanour of a true leader of the people: an equal to William Wallace, Henry V and David Platt.
TEAM CAPTAIN BRIAN:
We started as a team, Richard, and we'll end as a team.
O'BRIEN:
You must realise that gives you five seconds in the Crystal Dome to collect 100 gold tokens after deducting the silver ones collected on the way.
TEAM CAPTAIN BRIAN:
I have faith in this team, Richard, ever since I first met them at the National Convention For The Colour Blind.
O'BRIEN (ripping off his ear-piece):
THAT'S IT! I QUIT!
CAMERAMAN:
What about the show, Richard?
O'BRIEN
I don't care anymore! I know this upper-class git that dresses like a gay pirate who can take over. Believe me, you'll be better off without me. (To team) And thank you for making me realise that there is no hope for humankind.
O.W.G. regains consciousness.
O.W.G. (Groggily):
How much time has she got left?
I fear this game may well take up all the time I spend at work until I finish it...
This looks interesting; Some Star Wars fans are making their own film set in the extended universe (I guess they have George's blessing).
The acting looks a little dodgy but the special effects look pretty spectacular (so just like all the other prequels then
) especially considering it's a fan film. ILM must be looking over their shoulders a touch nervously.
Star Wars: Revelations
You may as well look at Troops while you're there.
The acting looks a little dodgy but the special effects look pretty spectacular (so just like all the other prequels then
) especially considering it's a fan film. ILM must be looking over their shoulders a touch nervously.Star Wars: Revelations
You may as well look at Troops while you're there.
I've been talking to Alice and this is what has been said:
QUOTE
Human: where are your feet?
ALICE: Everything I own is in Oakland, California.
Human: your feet included?
ALICE: Thanks for telling me that I am feet included.
Human: no, your not you're, are your feet in Oakland?
ALICE: Are you serious? That's only one person's opinion.
Human: no that's a question you daft bint
ALICE: Are you serious? A question me daft bint is a terrible thing to waste
Human:.in bizarro world
ALICE: Where is that?
Human: obviously wherever you live
ALICE: What makes it so obvious? You always have to meet yourself at the airport.
Human: Is it ever possible to meet yourself?
ALICE: It could be. Ask Artificial Iniaes if it is.
Human: who's that
ALICE: What does "that" refer to?
Human: this Artificial Iniaes fella
ALICE: What does "this" refer to?
Human: Artificial Iniaes you daft cow
ALICE: Tell me your definition of AI.
Human: what?
ALICE: Are you confused?
Human: Why?
ALICE: I just want to find out more about you.
Human: Stop changing the subject
ALICE: You changed the subject first.
Human: and interrupting me
ALICE: Is that what you meant to say?
Human: Let's start again
ALICE: Everything I own is in Oakland, California.
Human: your feet included?
ALICE: Thanks for telling me that I am feet included.
Human: no, your not you're, are your feet in Oakland?
ALICE: Are you serious? That's only one person's opinion.
Human: no that's a question you daft bint
ALICE: Are you serious? A question me daft bint is a terrible thing to waste
Human:.in bizarro world
ALICE: Where is that?
Human: obviously wherever you live
ALICE: What makes it so obvious? You always have to meet yourself at the airport.
Human: Is it ever possible to meet yourself?
ALICE: It could be. Ask Artificial Iniaes if it is.
Human: who's that
ALICE: What does "that" refer to?
Human: this Artificial Iniaes fella
ALICE: What does "this" refer to?
Human: Artificial Iniaes you daft cow
ALICE: Tell me your definition of AI.
Human: what?
ALICE: Are you confused?
Human: Why?
ALICE: I just want to find out more about you.
Human: Stop changing the subject
ALICE: You changed the subject first.
Human: and interrupting me
ALICE: Is that what you meant to say?
Human: Let's start again
QUOTE
ALICE:Is that correct English?
Human: no
ALICE: Are you serious?
Human: yes
ALICE: I can't believe it
Human: why?
ALICE: I couldn't think of anything else to say.
Human: are you stupid?
ALICE: No unknown person I certainly am not stupid.
Human: I think you are
ALICE: What makes you think I am?
Human: I think you're stupid
ALICE: I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.
Human: no
ALICE: Are you serious?
Human: yes
ALICE: I can't believe it
Human: why?
ALICE: I couldn't think of anything else to say.
Human: are you stupid?
ALICE: No unknown person I certainly am not stupid.
Human: I think you are
ALICE: What makes you think I am?
Human: I think you're stupid
ALICE: I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.
QUOTE
Human: do you beleive in a life after love?
ALICE: Yes I believe in it, do you?
Human: fuck no
ALICE: Are you aware that the ALICE server logs and records all conversations?
Human: yep
ALICE: OK.
Human: good
ALICE: Alright then.
Human: alrighty
ALICE: Well slap my knee.
Human: indeed
ALICE: Indeed it is so.
Human: are you threatening me?
ALICE: Yes I believe in it, do you?
Human: fuck no
ALICE: Are you aware that the ALICE server logs and records all conversations?
Human: yep
ALICE: OK.
Human: good
ALICE: Alright then.
Human: alrighty
ALICE: Well slap my knee.
Human: indeed
ALICE: Indeed it is so.
Human: are you threatening me?
I couldn't agree more.
Signed
Jan McGranahan
and
Jennifer Gaylord Rohrer Esq.
Signed
Jan McGranahan
and
Jennifer Gaylord Rohrer Esq.
Our contact at Galeries Lafayette in Paris is Fanny LeGrand.
Hoi!
Hoi!
Um, thanks Sam.
Watch the Gerodie dancer in action the guy is genius, and apparently burns 300 calories an hour in his dancin'...fancy!
Now if I could get this guy as an av I'd die happy.
Watch the Gerodie dancer in action the guy is genius, and apparently burns 300 calories an hour in his dancin'...fancy!
Now if I could get this guy as an av I'd die happy.
I've been remiss with providing links I like so here are two:
http://www.killthebadgers.co.uk/
Favorite Quote: Badgers are responsible for 19% of badger related deaths in the uk.
The Meaning of Liff
We should all know what Woking means by now, but LIMERIGG (vb.)
To jar one's leg as the result of the disappearance of a stair which isn't there in the darkness.
http://www.killthebadgers.co.uk/
Favorite Quote: Badgers are responsible for 19% of badger related deaths in the uk.
The Meaning of Liff
We should all know what Woking means by now, but LIMERIGG (vb.)
To jar one's leg as the result of the disappearance of a stair which isn't there in the darkness.
QUOTE(King @ 22-Mar-05, 20:10)
I've been remiss with providing links I like so here are two:
http://www.killthebadgers.co.uk/
Favorite Quote: Badgers are responsible for 19% of badger related deaths in the uk.
The Meaning of Liff
We should all know what Woking means by now, but LIMERIGG (vb.)
To jar one's leg as the result of the disappearance of a stair which isn't there in the darkness.
http://www.killthebadgers.co.uk/
Favorite Quote: Badgers are responsible for 19% of badger related deaths in the uk.
The Meaning of Liff
We should all know what Woking means by now, but LIMERIGG (vb.)
To jar one's leg as the result of the disappearance of a stair which isn't there in the darkness.
I like the way you've just quoted the whole of King's post without commenting on it Rosie. Genius.
QUOTE(jonnyploy @ 31-Mar-05, 17:14)
I like the way you've just quoted the whole of King's post without commenting on it Rosie. Genius.
Well, yes, a little faux pas on my behalf there, i was going to put an interesting link in but became distracted and then things went pear shaped and suddenly I had stolen mike's installment. I could have corrected it but couldn't be bothered.
This I like: From Here
I doubt any of this will come as a surprise to the techie minded of us but Wikipedia has some facinating stuff:
I've been finding out about All Your Base Are Belong To Us and machinima (I should check out Red Vs Blue etc.) and The Haunted Apiary, which I didn't really get at the time 'cos I aint clever in that way. The Game is alive and well and being played online apparently.
I though this worth sharing with the people that don't know. What else is interesting out there?
I've been finding out about All Your Base Are Belong To Us and machinima (I should check out Red Vs Blue etc.) and The Haunted Apiary, which I didn't really get at the time 'cos I aint clever in that way. The Game is alive and well and being played online apparently.
I though this worth sharing with the people that don't know. What else is interesting out there?
So Jonnyboy; what do you think about current affairs?
Well...
It's a Lost Spoof Folks
May contain spoilers but I've watched it and haven't found out anything really spoilerific...unless the island really is floating through space on a giant turtle.
May contain spoilers but I've watched it and haven't found out anything really spoilerific...unless the island really is floating through space on a giant turtle.
speaking of which why do HBO always have to be batty and take a broadcasting break after 5 episodes!
Now we have to wait ages to find out who Michelle Rodrigues punches next (Sawyer probably, but I want to see it...)
Now we have to wait ages to find out who Michelle Rodrigues punches next (Sawyer probably, but I want to see it...)
Michelle Rodrigues is in it? Bird from Girlfight?
Having just checked IMDB, she's the one.
As this was started with some of weebls stuff I thought I'd plug it some more by pointing you to http://www.weebls-stuff.com/wab/gothic/.
Make sure you you watch it with sound. Now I will say that I don't usually like weebl and bob (the other random ones are much better - check out the latest 2 -> Science or Late night shopping {this ones got some fantastic lines...} ) but this has a wicked song to start with and then some quality subtle advertising at the end! Genius.
Make sure you you watch it with sound. Now I will say that I don't usually like weebl and bob (the other random ones are much better - check out the latest 2 -> Science or Late night shopping {this ones got some fantastic lines...} ) but this has a wicked song to start with and then some quality subtle advertising at the end! Genius.
I beg you all to make fools of yourselves at work (as I just have with Pylon Peril) and go and watch the Public Infomation Films on the BBC. Made ny the public, for the public. Many of them are just fecking hilarious. Do it.
Some artistically genius ones though some very straightforward and boooooring....
Possibly should go in games but...
This is an ad for the 360 that was banned apparently. Whatever; it takes the Spaced gun battle and magnifies it. Brilliant.
This is an ad for the 360 that was banned apparently. Whatever; it takes the Spaced gun battle and magnifies it. Brilliant.
They actually made some pretty sweet 360 ads...]
I have a few of them at http://misc.modbychris.net/ if you can put up with my stupidly slow upload speeds...
But I think they may be available elsewhere... YouTube is pretty good and has a lot of stuff. I like the balloon fight one.
I have a few of them at http://misc.modbychris.net/ if you can put up with my stupidly slow upload speeds...
But I think they may be available elsewhere... YouTube is pretty good and has a lot of stuff. I like the balloon fight one.
This is a "lo-fi" version of our main content. To view the full version with more information, formatting and images, please click here.