I cannot believe after the recession and programmes like Weed, Secret Diaries and Hung that you have to ask this question.

My recession proof choices for a career change are:
Porn/Hooking
Drug dealing

You could go all out and do both jobs and really rake in the cash. Of course, I would have to be your pimp and be allowed to use words that end in 'izzle'.

What say?

I am currently looking into the feasibility of moving to India. Dubai sucks the big one for film/journalism. It is truly daunting but that's where it be at. And you can be sure Im going to try one or all of the above.

I vote for something up "North". Perhaps you could hit up Graphene Industries for an internship.

By the way - the insults things definitely has a future as an iPhone or BB app. Sell them cheap at 4p a go or something for the premium ones.

Did you guys catch that app on the iPhone that measures how much people talk around you? It's for mates who don't shut up. This gives you a nice multicoloured way of showing them this fact statistically - which of course upsets them less somehow.

I will have an update shortly.

How exciting. Don't leave it too long or it might get mediumly or longly.

well you could make it briefly

...but not momentarily (unless your update is short, in which case carry on).

Actually, either way would be fine.

Ah...you're one of those are you...never mind Jonny, never mind.

(Technically it means 'For a very short time' and not 'in a moment' but us grammer nazis are fighting a losing battle on this front as on many others )

Edit: And yes I noticed the typo but I like it so it's staying...

Yep, I'm one of those. It's how language is used in practice that matters, not how some unidentified people tell us it should be used.

Yes; language is an ever-flowing river but sometimes it seems a shame that a word should lose its precise meaning through misuse, so increasing entropy and the potential for misunderstandings. (Though it is useful if you are The Patrician and wish to obfuscate.)

Saw more posts in this thread. Thought, "Ooooh, Jonnyboy must have updated!" Discovered grammatical discussion instead. I can't decide whether to roll my eyes, laugh, or join in. (I, for example, think that correcting spoken/informal language is unnecessary, but I do prefer to be old school in my formal writing.)

We're nothing if not easily distrac...oh penguin!

Yeah, don't get too excited about the update, it's not that momentous.

Surely it's more exciting than grammar? And I say this as a person who has an unhealthy love of a correctly placed semi-colon.

I was disproportionately disappointed not to see you include one in your post Jennie.

Language is ever evolving but it still needs "old schoolers" to stop it spiralling downwards so that we all sound like ghetto kids, innit?

Someone please - an example of how to use momentarily to mean of a short duration. "I slept momentarily" or "I momentarily slept"?

I would hate to disappoint you Dannyboy; here is a sentence with a semi-colon.
(One of the four emails I ever got from Pete while I lived in the US contained both a correctly used semi-colon and a joke about how he correctly used a semi-colon. Clearly, it was meant to be. )

My update is that I have handed my notice in at KPMG and have accepted a new job with GE Healthcare.

My last day at KPMG is 31 May; I have yet to agree a starting date with GE Healthcare.

Well, feel free to spend some time holidaying in the lovely north of the country. congrats on the new job!

Nice one centurian, hope it all goes well.

I am disappointed that neither of you noticed my semi-colon use; I was hoping that we would make it a continuing theme in this thread.

I noticed; I didn't think it so out of character as to inspire comment.

(I am also now fearful that Jennie will sit at her computer scoffing at my pitiful, shotgun scattering of semi-colons as I attempt to find one that fits its proper place.)

I noticed, but I've learned that not everyone likes it when I get all chuffed about punctuation. Apparently, it's not all that exciting a subject. And now, just because I can, some english teacher type explanation. (I'm sure all of you already know this stuff, but as I have no more students to torment, I feel this compulsion to tell SOMEONE how to use punctuation.)
Semi-colons, for all of their fearful reputation, have one of the simplest rules out there. They connect two complete sentences that do not have a coordinate conjunction between them (that type of sentence would necessitate a comma). The tricky bit is that, technically, the purpose of a semi-colon is to demonstrate that the two sentences/ideas are not only connected but also have equal "weight"/importance in the paragraph. Mostly, though, two complete sentences that you want to connect=semi-colon.
/englishteacher

In other update-type news, I am now officially a sole trader as some people have started paying me to copy edit/do things like that. I even opened a business bank account today. Woot.

Excellent work on the sole trader thing.

1. Jennie - thanks for the lesson however I suspect definitions are most effective if they avoid using phrases such as "coordinate conjunction" =)

2. Congrats on the freelance work! Welcome to the satisfying world of self-employment.

3. JP - nice move on getting out of KPMG. I hope GE works out a much more enjoyable place to work.

4. Could have done with seeing all these updates before tonight! Ha. Hope you all got home safe.

for all of you who hadn't guessed...



w00t.

w00t indeed! Congratulations Rosie and Tart! Yay!

Amazing. How did I miss this? That looks like a real (mini) person already and I didn't notice you looking any different! Congratulations both of you. =)

Woot indeed.

Nice one! That's fantastic.

Wahey! Good work Walkers. When is it due please?

I'm guessing that's a 3 month scan...

Very clever King...especially as it says '1st Trimester' in the top right! Tartlet due mid Feb. 18th to be precise but I don't think there's any point dwelling on numbers!

Dan...you can tell now. I have 'popped' so to speak!

ALL: There is talk of a last Huzzah! party before turning into grown ups...for Chris' birthday on or around 13th Jan in the 'ninch. Anyone interested at all?

oh and P.S; Chris started laughing the other day as he realised this is going to be 'Rosemary's Baby'....

Haha. Oh dear. Does that mean that there is now a horror-movie theme for this last hurrah?

"He chose you, honey! From all the women in the world to be the mother of his only living son!"

I like the idea of a horror movie themed trip to Yorkshire.

"Folks round 'ere aren't from round 'ere...they're from Devon."

Well Halifax week is around Halloween! Chris will check for horns and a pointy tail at the next scan. I am in denial but Chris says we are going to call it Ba'al-zebub ... I'm not sure that would suit if it were a girl though.

[attachmentid=365]

A pic of Jess enjoying cake for you all to enjoy...

I cannot believe I am the first to comment. Facebook has a lot to answer for.

Woop woop! Congratulations to both of you! I will begin looking for a hat.

(and yes, I did nearly completely miss the point and make a comment on how tasty the cake looked).

Congrats Mikeyboy!!!

Superb news mate, chuffed for you both.

The cake looks pretty good too!

Sammyboy and Mel

Thanks guys. I didn't want to announce it on Fbook without letting y'all know...but I couldn't do it straight.

You're in good company Jonnyboy; I sent my folks three pictures of Jess with the ring visible over three days ending with the one above.

They didn't notice.

The cake was great though.

[attachmentid=366]

For the +1's

So.... What is all this fuss about cake? It certainly looks like a delicious specimen but really....

Well <shrug> I might as well join in... Congratulations king and jess!!!

....on your... cake.

Thanks Dan. It really is a lovely cake; we plan to spend the rest of our lives together and are very, very happy...

Woooooo, Jess and Mike! Congratulations and good wishes.

Congratulations Mike N Jess! Well done. Me and the +1 are very happy for you both!

(I'm glad someone already asked about the cake)

Congrats guys, it feels like ages since we saw any of you lot... what with the Tartlet on the way too, it feels like we're all growing up!

King, any time scales for the engagement/big day? and more importantly.... what's the plan for the Stag do!!

Thanks everyone.

Woz: Never gonna happen (the growing up, not the wedding)

That'll probably be in 2013 and as for the stag; that'll be up to Tart to sort out...

Congratulations.

@Woz: I have plans.