And just when you thought it was safe to stand up...

Pictures in order of their names, pick a hoe. It's that simple.

And I really don't want any of this 'I'm not keen on silicone gushing, airbrushed loving, filth mongering, deepthroating, pornstar type loving' chat. You have to pick one or you're gay...

Lalalala.

Much love
Govi*

Oh my good God.

We've held out for a long time, but I guess even the power of Badgerfest couldn't last for ever against the world's most popular use for the internet - looking at naked women. Typical it's Govistar who brings the whole tone down by several notches. Shame on you, sir. This was a cultured forum until now.

11.14am (GMT), 26 March 2006. Remember that date - it's the date that may go down in history as the corrupting of Badgerfest.

I might have to write to my MP to complain.

Apart from anything else, how the hell am I going to post while at work with Jenna Jameson bits poking out at me from the front page for all my managers to see?

Mate - if you think this is corruption you ought to go check out the books section! And this is only the beginning of the polls. Unless you chaps want me to stop and dont like girls and all that then fine I will...NOT!

HAH!

This is where the McDonald's tagline really holds any meaning.

And as for JJ's bits (we're on initial terms now) you'll have a look at them if you want a raise matey! Gooooo on!!!!!

(Maniacal laugh)!!!!

Mu Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
(in case you were dyslexic and got into a suicidal rage trying to imagine it)....

GOVI*

none of them are all that nice...and that one in the 4th picture looks like she's suddenly had a nasty surpise finding out that she's not in fact a man.

I'm not bothered about the pictures in this post - what worries me is the possibility of a revenge poll by the ladies of the forum. I don't want to see a parade of firemen's schlongs!

It's always the married ones isn't it?

I just have to thank Jonnyboy about this latest thread now adorning the homepage for badgerfest, as I waited to find a secluded spot to visit the site in the office.

Although to be honest, if I was caught looking at the homepage now, it would be altogether more understandable than when it was Drew's pictures of the bloke dressing up as animals, no doubt people would think I was sort of weird S&M type pervert rather than the completely normal pervert that I am.

The one on the right looks quite distressed at whatever it is she has found between her legs...
Is it a bird
Is it a plane
Is it a crab cluster?......

Gents Gents Gents

Now, to my surprise I have just been informed that we have a lot of girls on this forum. This is news to me. Perhaps this is because the last time I actually logged on to this thing was when I was blissfully unaware of all the evolution that was taking place with you folk. Bugger. No pun intended.

Since there are girls in the locker room and we have to now think a little more carefully about who we're buttslapping when we accidentally do it (ALRIGHT...just me then) I shall obviously have to make sure that the NEXT poll is a little more tasteful. Arse!

Still - they are wonderful pictures no!

And Mikey - how dare you? I was as perverted before marriage too! My expression is only just coming into its own!

lalalalalalalala

Expect a second poll soon.

And gents gents gents - since when did a picture of ecstacy suddenly become one of surprise genitalia - tsk tsk. And it's PAMMY for Chrissake not 'that bird in the 4th picture'- yeegads...what have you all turned into?

Sex education alacking methinks. And all those who've slagged it off are clearly being PC for all the girls on the forum. Well done all you redbloods who actually voted.

Must redress this ASAP.

End rant.

Govi*

No no no - you have to thank Govi* for this thread. G-O-V-I *. Good on you mate.

Yes you were perverted before, it's just that your perversions were directed toward your fellow pupil...it's all this 'straight and narrow' hetro stuff that's thrown us.

As for Pammy she does looked surprised and she isn't wearing red; how the hell are we supposed to pick her out of a line-up when she ain't on the beach?

Here's a question Im going to throw open to the forum.

How does one recognize Pammy when she's not in red and not on the beach?

a) Her norks
Her norks
c) Her norks

Please choose only one answer.

And if you actually open the pic Mikey you'll find that the hose between her legs has given her a sexual pout! Not a grimace of finding the wrong genitalia...tsk tsk.

Im just going to have to put in another poll soon.

These pics have been viewed 94 times and only a few have voted?! How come?

Yes yes yes all that homoerotic lovefraternizing was wonderful though wasn't it. You're the only one who came out of it unscathed though...

But not unscarred.

Mu hah ha ha ha ha hhaa...

I knew Marketa was going to take the lead - she is a minx.

I guess you've exposed us for the hypocritical humans we are there Gov.

I also think you'll find I never mentioned Pam's funbox; that was Dan.

Don't worry, even those of us who slagged it off couldn't resist voting.

Mikey - 'funbox'? That's one I'll have to remember!

I want to know who the girls voted for.

well govind didn't add a tick box with 'rosie' written next to it so i couldnt vote. no picture supplied coz im just too good for the viewing of the general public....

Hallo medear

Adding you would have totally destroyed the purpose of the poll. I was going to suggest I add you in Govi's Pornfest Poll 3 but think you'd win hands down...so arse.

Out of interest though, who would you vote for?

Lalalala

Also if all of you have voted then who's visiting this link so often?

Lalala

Ummm I am finding it hard to select a winner as I am not really into breasts....or people with legs that are attached to their armpits with no body inbetween...

although upon closer inspection i suppose i would vote for the brunette as she seems the most pretty - she looks like she's catching flies though - either that or she has a case of 'repetitive slack jaw' injury due to the nature of her job.....

Mmm..Yes! Very good selection madam. Though if you're not keen on the uberpornstarhussy type Im sure we could find one that suits your tastes more.

Refer pic...

Brunette...

Clear distinction between legs and head...

Natural boobies...

Pretty...

No slackjaw from occupational hazards...

How could I possibly do better?

Govi*

PS - couldnt do anything about the tacky tattoo on such short notice though.

nah too bitchy looking....unnatural stance puts me off too.....

As Master Lee said to his student in Enter the Dragon...

TRY AGAIN!

Okay - how's about this one?

...and we are still talking about 'to look at' right...?



We could be here all day....ahhh the pleasure pain factor!

Narrowing it down now. Choose better/worse/perfect/off the mark totally and then explain why...

Welcome to real sociological research.

The how come there are only 6 votes? Not good enough.

She's cute. Can I change my vote? I'm not sure you've ticked the 'all hers' category though. Doesn't make her a bad person (as my mate Tom would say).

Anyway I feel I should explain that this thread gets so many views cos we're all interested in the articles...no really. More or less every time someone posts about 6 people will look at the post and hence view the thread. Get it?

that's better - although still doesn't do it for me....she just looks kind of miserable...puts me off a bit you know...?

Im beginning to think that may be I am just not attracted to women at all and that I become naturally competitive and bitchy when viewing such pictures...I am still convinced that I would vote for myself over all of these ladies, i think i may be biased though.

I agree with Rosie on the last one - she's not looking like the life and soul of the party. Where's Aria Giovanni?

Woah, Woah, Woah, Woah; don't go ruining Joey's dreams! Next you'll be telling us you don't have your girlfriends over for pillow-fight parties dressed in nighties.

even worse - i went to an all girls convent boarding school for six years - and not a sniff of girl on girl action - just verbal abuse, and we had separate showers because catholics are funny about you showing your body to others....we even had to wear dressing gown's when getting dressed and the chief nun phoned two girls' parents when she heard them in the bathroom talking together - one in the bath one in the shower, she was worried that they were being led astray or cultivating funny ideas or something.....

Come along now, we all know Elisha Cuthbert is the finest specimen on the planet.

Ahem...Scarlett Johansson.

Stop it; you're killing me.

No wonder all* female porn stars went to convent school...though come to think of it, it may have been nice to have shower cubicles rather than having to let it all hang out in front of matron or the headmaster's wife...

*Note: All female porn stars may not have actually been to convent schools...but they've all worn the uniform

JEEHOSIFASH!!!

Look at all the interest here all of a sudden - brillianto!

And I have to say Im totally inspired by Jonnyboy's knowledge on the subject of said beeyaches. I would most certainly have put up good ol Aria (who only recently got into becoming a proper Star after many years of teasing us) but got the picture (see what I did there?) that the forum is partial to playmate type beeyaches. Also with Aria, I think Rosie would most certainly protest her superhumoungous breasts as stated before! I am attaching a said pic of the lady for those of you who don't know who she is. She's the one on the left.

Saw Scarlett Johannssen in a club in London and this is what she said to me:
'NO photos please...'

How rude. She was there with gimp Dawson and isnt as fit as everyone thinks she is. And Elisha Cuthbert - come onnnnn - the poor lass has a pig's snout for a nose. Sorry Sammy*

I'm with Jonnyboy!

And for the record this chick is more my speed!

Jessica Jaymes - minx! Beautiful and saucy! (yes the one on the right u tit - elementary and all that...)

And yes King you can change your vote - bet you loved Charlotte from Sex and the City as well!

im not keen on their taste in underwear....think they could do better with a trip to miss selfridge...and whats with the puffy cheeks one on the right? ..did she singe her finger when frying up her chips at dinner?

i stand unpersuaded and dont rate your taste gov,
i still prefer to vote for myself .....

greetings peeeps!

Just to say I am enjoying this thread, but struggle to put constructive comments as for me this is like, what would you rather have, a bar of gold or a bar of gold with some jam, I mean there really is no difference, I would be happy with either.

keep up the good work.

Also I think that the girl with her finger in her mouth is pondering some highly complex problem, like how long she has to wait before applying paint to newly plastered walls.

Old Chinese Proverb

'If woman no likey gold bar nor likey gold bar with jam, try gold bar with...

nutella...'

Ok ok ok...if you're going to diss said beeyaches you cannot use rather suggestive a la wonderful imagery...

Bird....licking finger...burning implements...rubbish underwear that ought to be got rid of....JEHOOSIFASH and MBUNGWAH uv put me in a tizzy!

As for her finger...you dont imagine those things inflate themselves do you?...

Im with you Loz but for the sake of Rosie hating every girl I put up here Im just going to have to keep trying innit?

Ahhh these fickle girls...puts us through terrible stress!

How's about this one??? King?
Or the other one? (Rosie?)
Or the other one (Loz?)

Ur putting me through pain woman...OK if you weren't in the poll who would you choose? lalalalalalala

And someone please tell me why my avatars don't move. They're gifs fr crying out loud?!?!?!

Grrrrr....

<hr size=1>
MODERATOR EDIT: Actually they're jpgs. so there. They may have been gifs in a previous incarnation, but not anymore.

Brilliant.

Surely 'with jam' is always preferable?

ok ok i give in...the blondie one....on the left...not that i condone this sort of thing of course....im insanely jealous that's all...and that must mean that i actually want to look like her/ have her legs/ hair etc....right? well running on the female trails of thinking i believe my observation to be true....it could mean that i fancy her also...but i am not getting any lustful desirous thoughts about her maneouvering into various acrobatic positions or anything so i therefore conclude that ...

I am only voting for this darn wench because you're pushing me into it gov
I am jealous of her therefore I hate her
I dont want her in bed with me.....ever.....
Ultimately...I still rate myself higher because of course if i didnt i'd just have to go and live in a hole, alone and worthless....

Nono nonononoononono sireeeee

They're gifs and the damn av setting thingy asks me to upload the gif - I do and it turns up as a bloody jpg??? Why o why?

Is size a problem? allalalalala

My Dear Rosie

I would never ever DREAM of pushing you into choosing the doe-eyed and saucy looking blond on the left - it was the sinful craving in you that made you do it - I merely played Satan and put them by your way (like the Sirens and all that) and you like George Clooney bit at the bait...so to speak. Or did you?

I have encountered this phenomenon of hate and jealousy for such women before. There is only one way to cure it and that is to agree with the rest of us that said beeyaches are not real. They are airbrushed, hair brushed (see what I did there?), made up and probably live on diets of celery and turnips. They most certainly dont look like that in the morning and most certainly have to have some sort of sick insecurity to have this constant need to parade themselves in front of the lascivious and lustful, hungry and unsatisfied eyes of boys and girls like you and me. Who are normal. Who go to badger dance parties. Who go to MacDonald's and Ikea and look fucking great without airbrushing, hairbrushing or celery and turnips...and it is with that logic of reason my dear, I do not feel bad about looking at said beeyaches or parading them in front of you, unfettered and unselfish at the same time, in my sharing of such wondrous carnal knowledge...

We are also helping promote humanity by not allowing said beeyaches to throw themselves off of cliffs by assuaging their raging insecurity - cos they were the ugliest girls at school and noone would ask them out and everyone called them names blah blah (refer every interview with a fit beeyach ever printed). Poor girls...

So let's get back to our first question? If not them, then who out of these three...?

Go on...you know you want to...

Lalalalalalalalalalala.....

And please - pity them as you vote and if you feel like Im cornering you into a ...corner then don't worry - there's more to choose from.

One of those puts me in mind of a chameleon. See if you can guess which.

Erm is it the first one who's walked past an old Boddington's advert and trying to look like a certain Norvun lass with long legs....

Or is it the second one who walked past a really thick ex Mrs Statham while she was trying to sell a new line of swimwear?

Or is it the third one who's standing next to a porn set and chameleoned into the scenery chest first?

Now check out my av - oh yeah - rock and roll baybay!

nice speel gov....although if you encounter jodi marsh attempting to jump off a cliff...let her....

urm i cant vote for any of these...they are rancid - the chameilion is trying to blend in coz she is aware that she is horrid, the one in the middle is squirming due to her latest yeast infection.and what the hell's bells is going on with the bird's nipples on the right? they aren't only defying gravity...they have been sewn on in totally the wrong place...yukkkk yukkk yukkkk

well it's true, i am so shiningly stunningly beautiful i don't need an airbrush although...at said convent school..i frequently got told to have a hair brush and to pull my socks up...

I was thinking of the one on the right as she appears to be 'looking' in two different directions at the same time as Rosie just pointed out...(Sigh) It's hard being a comedy genius when no-one understands your work...

You are all so harsh...

As some of you may have surmised, we may soon run out of conversation for this poll.

Therefore in anticipation of such an event, I'm going to warn you that if and when we do run out of conversation, I'm just going to keep posting more and more pics till I've had the most number of views on any poll in the history of badgerfest.

Also, I think we should comment with scores on 10.

In full on Joe Cartoon Hamster voice...

'Who's With Me?'

And why did that bastard start charging a fee for all his cartoons? Cock.

Since you've rubbished some of the stars of my harem (yes I do see the point about the yeast infection chick, but she looks good in some of the other pics which I have chosen not to include for fear of offending some of our more refined audience members...so ner) howsabout these fillies?

[attachmentid=137][attachmentid=138]

the one on the left is a man - look at those hips! the one on the right has both wrong nipples and an '80's hairdo.....

Grrrrr - okay okay you asked for it...

HOW ABOUT THESE??? (he says with the tone of a young lad throwing in a double whammy of ace top trumps from the fittest beeyach 2 pack of cards...Not unlike the sound of HIIIIIYAH!!!)

[attachmentid=139]

and Crista Nicole - one of the most stunning girls to ever grace the pages of Playboy so be nice(forgive inclusion of Brazilian)

[attachmentid=140] -

...she's so hot she merits two pics...

[attachmentid=141]

*sigh*

for some reason all of gov's girls seem too...unreal/plastic figurines.

the only one i rather liked so far was that cute one Rosie picked out (on a chair, looks like she needs to pee).

And no I'm not a golden shower fetishist.

Is this more your speed then Dan?

[attachmentid=142]

Ahh the maladies of an aesthete...