Alright, own up, who wants a slap?

Yes please, with fried eggs on the side, and a picture of Queen Victoria up your mum.

I'm afraid we're right out of Victoria's...in fact the only queen we have at the moment is Noj.

I was looking for somewhere to post this that was suitable titled.
It should be slightly more "geek" than this but "random shite" does seem to fit the bill and I need to share this so...

I work in a ISP and we get our fair share of crappy requests for DNS entries. however some recently wanted a PTR record set up which made us all laugh.

Check out what 82.152.103.104 resolves to.

Nice.

Yes, I agree.

This thread seemed appropriate for an update from The Bowles in Africa

>>>>>

Hello,

right

change of plans

wrt ploys next year

I had been due to move into mobiles with my current company but
since then I have had a rather nice offer for next year. There is a
horseback safari company in the delta that wants me to manage thier
camp for them. they do safaris from horse back through big five
area - which is nice. this is basically what i've been wanting to
get into ultimately but i just didn't reackon it would happen so
soon! so bonza.
I was in thier camp a couple of days ago and had a quick ride, saw
elephant and giraffe and realised that my riding skills need
improving. On the plus side I figure I'll have better chances with
Zara Phillips if i'm 'down with the horesy set' sweety darling.
Just gotta work out how to get rid of her fiancee!!! bloody rugy
players!

as far as this might affect yous guys I won't be travelling north
until around March time which has put the kybosch on so
me chrimbo
festivities but we'll just have to delay until easterish.
apart from that I'm currently out on leave in maun and planning to
head south to JHB to meet Lindsey Bradley who is coming out for some
Safari fun. so we'll be off for a couple of weeks then head back to
jacks.


well chaps, I'm off to learn how to ride a horse!

yours

Clint Eastwood

for those non-geeks who don't have a clue how to check what whatsit a P.I. resolves to this is the output:

;; ANSWER SECTION:
104.103.152.82.in-addr.arpa. 86400 IN PTR shatners.bassoon.wankbadger.com.

indeed, good for a giggle.

I'm bored.

Don't know what to say other than that really. Today has just been really dull.

I think I might start a brand spanking new, all-conquering forum thread at the weekend. Keep an eye out.

I literally can not wait.

Having heard about the pleasure-dome that is Zero's, Hertford, my Portuguese flatmate now wants to go there post haste.

Obviously 'complete and utter wank' lost something in the translation.

The FT's headline today:

"Tesco and Asda credit ploy funds fast growth"

Tickled me.

Top 5 tunes for waiting in the undeground.

1. London Undergound - The Amateur Transplants.
...erm repeat x4.

Sorry this is just a blatant ploy to plug this song as it made me laugh...

There's a video too if you're that way inclined.

Maybe this post should have gone in the random thread...

London is bonkers man. In every which way possible.

Place names and street names for instance. So many classics that I now want as my address. I went for a bit of a wander on Sunday and walked past the following:

Knightrider Court - just imagine living at No 1 Knightrider Court! You could have the theme tune as your doorbell ring and everything. For those interested its between St Pauls and the wobbly bridge. Bring on the Hoff!

Little Britain - Yes, thats right, there is a street/area called Little Britain. I took a phone photo of it I thought it was so genius. Thats just north of St Pauls so look forward in the next few months to sending everything to

Vicky Pollard
Little Britain
London

St Andrew-by-the-Wardrobe - this is a church obviously but I just thought it was a comedy name. Imagine waking up every morning and there being a Saint just standing next to your wardrobe looking a bit dopey. What did he get sainted for? Advising what shoes would go with your outfit?

no no ....the wardrobe - which happens to be extremely small so you cant see it easily, is in fact a portal to heaven just in case one of the renditions of the great lord himself has to make a rapid escape from london at any time. Back in 1582, Andrew helped the holy ghost escape when the spawn of the devil was giving chase and hence became a saint for his services to the third of god that is the holy ghost....

you see now?

I can appreciate my explanation makes no sense whatsoever but where do you think lewis got his inspiration for "the lion the witch and the wardrobe" from?

What they don't tell you is that his Holiness the Ghost happened to be boffing the Spawn's wife which is why he was running away. This is also the reason lovers often choose to hide in the bedroom wardrobe when husbands return. True story.

To celebrate the news that a Futurama movie is in the works, I present my favourite Zapp Brannigan quote:

I like:

Courtesy of Bash.org:

Happy Birthday the Tart!

In honour of your birthday, I have gone to the trouble of typing 'Tart's Birthday' in Google and this is what came up: enjoy.

Tart's Birthday Google

Thank you! It makes me glad I wasn't christened Aggatha Throttlebottle.

Arthur Tramwicket, now that's a good name for a cat.

Sammyboy tries to sum up the badgerfest ethic using only facial expressions and hand gestures

Don't wear novelty seal shaped hats to the zoo

If my details and sources here are to be believed, I think today is the man Noj's birthday. So... Happy Birthday!

And in-keeping with the service I provided for Tart upon his Birthday, I took the liberty of typing in 'Noj's Birthday' to Google and seeing what the most popular result was.

Enjoy.

Noj's Birthday Google Link

ooh i'm about 30 mins late ... oh hmm and about 30 days late for tarts. whoops.

but happy birthday both o' ya.

For King's benefit and porbably no-one else's...

I finally got round to cutting that mp3 up for you, so here's the "podcast" for your listening pleasure.

Boba the Fett

Shiny.

Natuarlly I recommend that everyone listen and enjoy as it is fantastic...but you'll all porbably ignore me as usual. Fools.

Talking about cutting stuff, I need to be able to cut a chunk out of an avi video file in order to create a smaller clip. I also need to glue two pieces of avi together to make one piece of video. These two pieces of video are going to be different resolutions (and probably different aspect ratios too) just to make things even more hairy.

I guess I need some sort of beasty video editing software package. The drawback is that I really don't want to pay for it. Any suggestions?

virtualdub + avisynth.

Both free and can do all you'll ever need.

VitrualDub:
http://prdownloads.sourceforge.net/virtual...12.zip?download

VirtualDubMod (like VDub but can handle vbr/ac3/dual audio):
http://prdownloads.sourceforge.net/virtual...ve.zip?download

AviSynth good if you wish to change the resolution of a video clip / add borders / crop on-the-fly:
http://www.doom9.org/Soft21/SupportUtils/Avisynth_256.exe

Worth checking out doom9.org as it's the daddy and will have a guide on what you want to do.
Also worth checking out: afterdawn.com/.

Thats right folks, virtual Dub, for when the real Dub is just too damn far away. (London)

He laughs, he cries, he sleeps, he takes the piss out of Drew.

Batteries not included. Rabbit Hutch included. Virtual Dub not included.

£999.99 RRP

Thankyou Tart, and goodnight Sammyboy.

seen today on a sign posted outside of a (very small) grocery store...



yes, i'd like a six pack and one of the metamorphic please.

There's quartz all through 'dis granite. Clogs the arteries, quartz.

Jennie,

I think you'll find this is actually a new version of the ancient game Paper, Scissors, Stone.

Rules are as follows:

Rocks sink against Water.

Water dilutes Beer.

Beer beats everything.

In short: Beer good, Rocks bad... Water ok.

Here endeth todays lesson.

oh, how fantastic.

but what if you pull out the secret "skipping" stone and therefore put the water in its place?--does everyone else have to buy you a beer?

very good point, in fact the skipping/ skimming stone could even smash the beer glass.

How would you indicate you had pulled out beer as opposed to water and rock? - slap your belly and belch loudly?

no silly - you scratch your testicles and fart.

easier for some than others...

Trust you 'Sums' to lower the tone of this thread. Honestly.

lower the tone?
it's called "random shite"...!

I am yet to locate my testicles....maybe they haven't dropped yet...

On the news:



I shit you not.

Right, random...shite...

Last thursday I met up with Sammyboy at waterloo station. I suggested that we do what we've always wanted and take that train to paris, but he said no, that we should take the train to Teddington to see the filming of Harry Hill's 'TV Burp'.

I was attracted by the promise that I would no money to pay for this venture, free entry to the venue was supported by the fact that my rail ticket from home already covered the teddington journey.

However,

we didn't realise that Teddington is in another country and that the journey takes about 35 minutes. Also the 'map' that we had printed out was actually less useful that the pigeon poo that was seen on the bicycle rank outside the station. Allied to the jabbering of a well meaning but plainly crazy lady, we managed to get to the studios at 6.30 ish.

We were given standby tickets 38 and 39 and entered the holding pen/tent. We had little hope.

But then Ray Gearing, the bouncer type geezer, stated that there were about 45 odd places free after all the people with tickets had been counted in..

we waited, and polished off some free beers.

However the call was for standby tickets 1 - 34, which made us fearful. How had they been so precise?

Our worst fears were confirmed when the little irish lady said she was sorry but there was no more room, unless we wanted to wait to see Trisha.

I was considering it (purely due to the free beer) but Sammyboy said no, 'what would people think'. I realised he was right and joined him in a nearby pub for a consoling drink, before beginning a sizeable trek to the station to catch the train home.



So there it is, some random shite.

[Alternative ending:
After being told that there were no more tickets, Sammyboy and myself, along with Mr T, Hannibal Smith and 'Howling Mad' Murdock who had also been unlucky with their standby tickets, hatched a plan.
Mr T and Hannibal constructed a fearsome tank-like machine and then drove through the walls of the studio to overthrow the dictator that was Ray Gearing and place Murdock as the new bouncer type person]

The End]

you forgot to add the 'making an amazing machine out of our van music', you know, as it bursts out / into the building ....it goes like this...

durn dun durrn dun dun durrrrn dun du dun durrrn dur d d d durrrn and so on....

Lamb Pie - you forgot to mention the wife from The Shining. Scary monkeys.

Sounds like some crazy roonerspism to me...

Howsabout this for random?

http://www.techeblog.com/index.php/tech-ga...and-accessories

You know you've had a hard day when: you get home and try and get into your house by pressing your Oyster card up against the keyhole.

D'oh!

In New York at the mo. Its fab.

Have done all the touristy bits, Empire State, Times Square, Ground Zero etc

Will give full update on my return but thought I would just check in to Badgerfest to see if there was anything which needed my attention. Which there isn't.

Charvill take a detention.

Sammystar - you want to check out an awesome club - check out The Frying Pan on the harbour - it has an event called Turntables on the Hudson at the weekend - it kicks ass. Please note the naked cowboy in Times Square and check out this fecking nutter - if you see him, smack him and tell him he aint no Vin Diesel - hahaha

Vin Diesel-NOT

Govi *

talking of vin diesel I made this for hours of fun at work, but it wasn't hard to adapt for this...

http://modbychris.net/gov