It strikes me that I have been most remiss in my reviewing duties so I thought I'd end your (silent) clamour for my return:
Black Dynamite
Who's the black private dick That's a sex machine to all the chicks? Black Dynamite!
Yeah Damn righ...no wait, hang on...who?
Black Dynamite that's who. First introduced to us whilst showing three women the time of their lives ("Black Dynamite, that was the best loving I ever had." "Me too." "That goes triple for me." "Shh. Mama, you're gonna wake up the rest of the bitches.") Michael Jai White stars as the badass mofo himself; an ex-CIA Agent who comes out of retirement to lay the smack down when his brother is killed, tracing the problem to 'the man' pushing heroin into local orphanages.
I'm not really down with the Blaxploitation genre but I know enough to recognise a loving, sharp spoof of the genre. Complete with wooden actors who read out their direction along with their lines ("Sarcastically, I'm in charge"), library footage, obvious intercutting of different takes and in-shot booms this satire has the sense to play its ridiculous plot completely straight-faced. Jai White puts in an excellent performance and the kung-fu on show actually delivers where the acting falls short (on purpose naturally). This is a must for any fans of 70's afro-thrillers and a nice intro for the rest of us.
4/5
Full Version: Films
Cowboys and Aliens
Review just for Govi*: Olivia Wilde!
Review for anyone else: It's great whilst being a western, all sweaty and dusty, but when the aliens turn up it turns into a more standard action adventure film that happens to have cowboys (and aliens) in it. This doesn't make it bad, only not as good as the western it could have been if they'd dispensed with the aliens (and therefore I guess much of the'plot').
Daniel Craig is good as a man with no memory and talent for bone-crunching violence and Harison Ford is nicely grumpy as a hard-edged rancher but the rest of the cast doesn't really have a whole heap to play with. This is a shame when your support contains Sam Rockwell, Paul Dano and Olivia Wilde.
Passes the time nicely and worth a watch for a decent stab at blockbuster action that doesn't rely on explosions and robots but disappointing when it could have been the second in a new wave of great westerns (with True Grit).
3.5/5
Review just for Govi*: Olivia Wilde!
Review for anyone else: It's great whilst being a western, all sweaty and dusty, but when the aliens turn up it turns into a more standard action adventure film that happens to have cowboys (and aliens) in it. This doesn't make it bad, only not as good as the western it could have been if they'd dispensed with the aliens (and therefore I guess much of the'plot').
Daniel Craig is good as a man with no memory and talent for bone-crunching violence and Harison Ford is nicely grumpy as a hard-edged rancher but the rest of the cast doesn't really have a whole heap to play with. This is a shame when your support contains Sam Rockwell, Paul Dano and Olivia Wilde.
Passes the time nicely and worth a watch for a decent stab at blockbuster action that doesn't rely on explosions and robots but disappointing when it could have been the second in a new wave of great westerns (with True Grit).
3.5/5
Monsters
After a NASA probe, sent to bring back samples of alien life, breaks up on re-entry over Mexico, much of the country is designated as an 'Infected Zone'; an area in which giant (and very dangerous) extra-terrestrials roam freely. Photojournalist Kaulder is tasked with 'babysitting' his boss's daughter Samantha on her journey from Mexico back to the US, a journey that inevitably takes them through the Zone.
This appears to be a Marmite film: those entering on the strength of the title and the prospect of some B-movie, sci-fi action tend to come out disappointed. The rest of us are presented with a wonderful, low-budget road-movie/tentative romance that just happens to have an alien infestation happening alongside. Filmed for $500,000 using a single camera and only two professional actors it's a film that eschews, for the most part, visible whizzes and bangs and concentrates on two people living in an altered world. The acting of the leads is unforced and the partly improvised dialogue adds a nice awkwardness to some of their early interaction. CG is used quite liberally but artfully to touch up the rubble-strewn backgrounds parts of dimembered creatures/fighter jets/trains in trees giving the film a shared tonal look to that of District 9, along with plenty of analogies and lessons for real life that may or may not be suggested by the filmakers; sci-fi is at its best when commenting on today and not when blowing thins up 'cos it looks pretty.
4/5
(PS this is another film that terrified Jess depite not a whole heap of terror happening...she still won't go and see Jurassic Park with me.)
QUOTE(King @ 26-Sep-11, 16:39)
Monsters
After a NASA probe, sent to bring back samples of alien life, breaks up on re-entry over Mexico, much of the country is designated as an 'Infected Zone'; an area in which giant (and very dangerous) extra-terrestrials roam freely. Photojournalist Kaulder is tasked with 'babysitting' his boss's daughter Samantha on her journey from Mexico back to the US, a journey that inevitably takes them through the Zone.
This appears to be a Marmite film: those entering on the strength of the title and the prospect of some B-movie, sci-fi action tend to come out disappointed. The rest of us are presented with a wonderful, low-budget road-movie/tentative romance that just happens to have an alien infestation happening alongside. Filmed for $500,000 using a single camera and only two professional actors it's a film that eschews, for the most part, visible whizzes and bangs and concentrates on two people living in an altered world. The acting of the leads is unforced and the partly improvised dialogue adds a nice awkwardness to some of their early interaction. CG is used quite liberally but artfully to touch up the rubble-strewn backgrounds parts of dimembered creatures/fighter jets/trains in trees giving the film a shared tonal look to that of District 9, along with plenty of analogies and lessons for real life that may or may not be suggested by the filmakers; sci-fi is at its best when commenting on today and not when blowing thins up 'cos it looks pretty.
4/5
(PS this is another film that terrified Jess depite not a whole heap of terror happening...she still won't go and see Jurassic Park with me.)
After a NASA probe, sent to bring back samples of alien life, breaks up on re-entry over Mexico, much of the country is designated as an 'Infected Zone'; an area in which giant (and very dangerous) extra-terrestrials roam freely. Photojournalist Kaulder is tasked with 'babysitting' his boss's daughter Samantha on her journey from Mexico back to the US, a journey that inevitably takes them through the Zone.
This appears to be a Marmite film: those entering on the strength of the title and the prospect of some B-movie, sci-fi action tend to come out disappointed. The rest of us are presented with a wonderful, low-budget road-movie/tentative romance that just happens to have an alien infestation happening alongside. Filmed for $500,000 using a single camera and only two professional actors it's a film that eschews, for the most part, visible whizzes and bangs and concentrates on two people living in an altered world. The acting of the leads is unforced and the partly improvised dialogue adds a nice awkwardness to some of their early interaction. CG is used quite liberally but artfully to touch up the rubble-strewn backgrounds parts of dimembered creatures/fighter jets/trains in trees giving the film a shared tonal look to that of District 9, along with plenty of analogies and lessons for real life that may or may not be suggested by the filmakers; sci-fi is at its best when commenting on today and not when blowing thins up 'cos it looks pretty.
4/5
(PS this is another film that terrified Jess depite not a whole heap of terror happening...she still won't go and see Jurassic Park with me.)
1/5 It's shit - especially when you compare it with District 9 - they are not on the same level at all.
QUOTE(RosieBear @ 26-Sep-11, 17:07)
1/5 It's shit - especially when you compare it with District 9 - they are not on the same level at all.
You can't really compare the two in anything but a superficial way; District 9 had about 60 times the budget and was a Sci-fi action film that degenerated into a run and gun (not necessarily a bad thing), Monsters is more of a low-key road movie with a sci-fi edge. I was actually less enthused by D-9 than most other people but perhaps I'm just ornery (and I still gave it a good review).
Anyway I think Rosie's review is a touch harsh but illustrates the yeasty nature of the film when juxtaposed with mine.
Tinker, Tailer, Soldier, Spy
From one point of view the Odeon in Kingston laid on a wonderful 4-D experience for us as we were watching a film about men acting shifty in dark, cigarette smoke-filled rooms in a dark room smelling strongly of cigarettes. Personally I could have done without the smell but you can't fault them for trying (you can fault them for failing to ensure no-one had been smoking in a screening however). Also, it was only dark because, when it became clear they had forgotten to turn off the lights, I ran down to the lobby to find someone to sort it out. Still I was applauded when I reached my seat and the lights clicked off so that was nice.
The film itself was excellent but probably not for everyone: There's not a lot of action, the thrills being more cerebral than anything, but the style, tone, acting and direction are all top-notch. Tomas Alfredson does a great job of shoving all the plot of the book into the running time leaving me feeling that a lot happened whilst not much happened (if you catch me).
Anyway I really liked it but a warning: If you grew up on the wrong side of the Iron Curtain then you've probably lived it and won't find it all that enervating (according to my brother's (East) German girlfriend).
4/5
The Losers
Basically it's the A-Team with added Zoe Saldana.
I quite enjoyed this in a leave-your-brain-at-the-door sort of way; the chemistry between the eponymous team is easy, the bad guy is suitably coldly humorous and the explosions and gun play are pretty. The thing that really worried me was just how skinny the ersatz blue alien is in real life.
3/5
Tell No-One
Eight years after Dr Alex Beck's wife was brutally murdered he receives and e-mail that suggests she might still be alive. Within short order he is on the run from Les flicks and gangsters alike. In French.
This French thriller is really rather good as it follows its everyman hero, at first establishing his life before and after his wife's murder and then following him as it all spirals out of control as he searches for clues leading to the truth of what happened that night.
Highly recommended. If only to see Kristen Scott Thomas playing a French lesbian.
4/5
From one point of view the Odeon in Kingston laid on a wonderful 4-D experience for us as we were watching a film about men acting shifty in dark, cigarette smoke-filled rooms in a dark room smelling strongly of cigarettes. Personally I could have done without the smell but you can't fault them for trying (you can fault them for failing to ensure no-one had been smoking in a screening however). Also, it was only dark because, when it became clear they had forgotten to turn off the lights, I ran down to the lobby to find someone to sort it out. Still I was applauded when I reached my seat and the lights clicked off so that was nice.
The film itself was excellent but probably not for everyone: There's not a lot of action, the thrills being more cerebral than anything, but the style, tone, acting and direction are all top-notch. Tomas Alfredson does a great job of shoving all the plot of the book into the running time leaving me feeling that a lot happened whilst not much happened (if you catch me).
Anyway I really liked it but a warning: If you grew up on the wrong side of the Iron Curtain then you've probably lived it and won't find it all that enervating (according to my brother's (East) German girlfriend).
4/5
The Losers
Basically it's the A-Team with added Zoe Saldana.
I quite enjoyed this in a leave-your-brain-at-the-door sort of way; the chemistry between the eponymous team is easy, the bad guy is suitably coldly humorous and the explosions and gun play are pretty. The thing that really worried me was just how skinny the ersatz blue alien is in real life.
3/5
Tell No-One
Eight years after Dr Alex Beck's wife was brutally murdered he receives and e-mail that suggests she might still be alive. Within short order he is on the run from Les flicks and gangsters alike. In French.
This French thriller is really rather good as it follows its everyman hero, at first establishing his life before and after his wife's murder and then following him as it all spirals out of control as he searches for clues leading to the truth of what happened that night.
Highly recommended. If only to see Kristen Scott Thomas playing a French lesbian.
4/5
Oh, god. Walter. Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay! (I also watched the trailer three times and laughed at "fart shoes" every. single. time.) I am so excited.
50/50
A surprisingly effective tale of a young man's experiences with a rare cancer, despite co-starring Seth Rogan. Joseph Gordon-Levitt is excellent as the lead Adam and Rogan isn't annoying, Anna Kendrick returns to her wide-eyed precocious ways as perfected in Up in the Air as an inexperienced psycologist effectively. Dallas Bryce Howard, however is dealt a bit of a bum deal as Adam's ineffective and highly unsympathetic girlfriend. This is a bit of a blokey film (it was based on the writer's own experiences and Rogan plays the same role as he did in real life) and although I didn't find it as funny as it could have been, it was much funnier and much more effecting than any film in the bracket of 'Cancer Comedy' has the right to be.
Worth a look on DVD.
3.8/5
Twiglett 4 (Breaking Dawn)
A review by Jessie (someone who likes the films...):
As you expected: Half sickeningly romantic honeymoon, the other half dedicated to showing teenaged girls the horrible, horrible effects of sex with a member of the occult: Bella first wastes away into skeletal form as her haemophagic baby literally suck the life from her, then is subjected to a moment highly reminiscent of John Hurt's experiences in Alien. In the meantime virtual wolves (in a demonstration of CGI so bad it is only bettered by Peter Jackson's King Kong) stand around 'comunicating' like telepathic doilies. Perhaps they should have gone down the Homeward Bound route.
Stay classy San Diego
2/5 (One extra star for the expression on Lulu's face during the impromptu C-section scene)
A surprisingly effective tale of a young man's experiences with a rare cancer, despite co-starring Seth Rogan. Joseph Gordon-Levitt is excellent as the lead Adam and Rogan isn't annoying, Anna Kendrick returns to her wide-eyed precocious ways as perfected in Up in the Air as an inexperienced psycologist effectively. Dallas Bryce Howard, however is dealt a bit of a bum deal as Adam's ineffective and highly unsympathetic girlfriend. This is a bit of a blokey film (it was based on the writer's own experiences and Rogan plays the same role as he did in real life) and although I didn't find it as funny as it could have been, it was much funnier and much more effecting than any film in the bracket of 'Cancer Comedy' has the right to be.
Worth a look on DVD.
3.8/5
Twiglett 4 (Breaking Dawn)
A review by Jessie (someone who likes the films...):
As you expected: Half sickeningly romantic honeymoon, the other half dedicated to showing teenaged girls the horrible, horrible effects of sex with a member of the occult: Bella first wastes away into skeletal form as her haemophagic baby literally suck the life from her, then is subjected to a moment highly reminiscent of John Hurt's experiences in Alien. In the meantime virtual wolves (in a demonstration of CGI so bad it is only bettered by Peter Jackson's King Kong) stand around 'comunicating' like telepathic doilies. Perhaps they should have gone down the Homeward Bound route.
Stay classy San Diego
2/5 (One extra star for the expression on Lulu's face during the impromptu C-section scene)
QUOTE
(in a demonstration of CGI so bad it is only bettered by Peter Jackson's King Kong)
Um, there wasn't a lot wrong with the CGI in King Kong. Okay, so they overstretched themselves in the dinosaur chase scene, but that's hardly in the same league as the Twilight saga where they don't bother trying to make the CGI look good because they know that legions of sparkly vampire obsessives will watch it no matter how shite the wolves look. Peter Jackson aimed at the sun and hit the moon, Twilight aims for the ceiling and can't possibly miss.
Hey don't tell me; Jess seems to have an irrational hatred of the film that extends all the way to its CGI. You made her laugh though. Much as Twiglet did.
The Town
A bit like Heat but set in Boston...and starring Ben Affleck instead of Bob and Al...and directed by Ben Affleck instead of Michael Mann.
It's pretty good actually (if morally questionable), worth a look for the heists and the lovely, lovely accents.
3.5/5
A bit like Heat but set in Boston...and starring Ben Affleck instead of Bob and Al...and directed by Ben Affleck instead of Michael Mann.
It's pretty good actually (if morally questionable), worth a look for the heists and the lovely, lovely accents.
3.5/5
Sherlock Holmes A Game of Shadows
RDJ and JL return in another fun, knock-about romp which carries itself with such poise it just about gets away with any slap-dash plotting or anachronisms. The central partnership is established enough for Guy Richie to let them off the leash and indulge in his slo-mo/fast-mo schtick to good effect and adding Jared Harris's slightly ratty Professer Moriarty significatly ups the chemistry. This just leaves the female trio of Noomi Rapace, Rachel McAdams and Mrs Watson with little to do but look brave and pretty and sometimes in peril. Still can't expect fully rounded females from 'The Guvnor' I guess.
3.7/5
RDJ and JL return in another fun, knock-about romp which carries itself with such poise it just about gets away with any slap-dash plotting or anachronisms. The central partnership is established enough for Guy Richie to let them off the leash and indulge in his slo-mo/fast-mo schtick to good effect and adding Jared Harris's slightly ratty Professer Moriarty significatly ups the chemistry. This just leaves the female trio of Noomi Rapace, Rachel McAdams and Mrs Watson with little to do but look brave and pretty and sometimes in peril. Still can't expect fully rounded females from 'The Guvnor' I guess.
3.7/5
Girl with the Dragon Tattoo US Version
This is more-or-less the same film as the Swedish one but with the advantage of some cracking actors and an a-list director. Fincher has taken the source material and produced a film in much the same vein but with much more of a cinematic flourish, a visual flair lacking previously. It makes for a great film but one that seems awfully familiar. Although the acting is better in all areas (except Rooney Mara's Lisbeth; she's good but not an improvement on Noomi Rapace) the slightly odd choice of English with Swedish accents for all but Daniel Craig (who doe just English) does jar slightly.
This new version doesn't do enough that is new with the story to have warranted another swing at the tale so soon, but if you haven't seeen the Swedish version, or if you don't like to read in the cinema, this one is ever so slightly a better film. I can't say I enjoyed it more however. Maybe because I was ID'd on my way in...
4/5
This is more-or-less the same film as the Swedish one but with the advantage of some cracking actors and an a-list director. Fincher has taken the source material and produced a film in much the same vein but with much more of a cinematic flourish, a visual flair lacking previously. It makes for a great film but one that seems awfully familiar. Although the acting is better in all areas (except Rooney Mara's Lisbeth; she's good but not an improvement on Noomi Rapace) the slightly odd choice of English with Swedish accents for all but Daniel Craig (who doe just English) does jar slightly.
This new version doesn't do enough that is new with the story to have warranted another swing at the tale so soon, but if you haven't seeen the Swedish version, or if you don't like to read in the cinema, this one is ever so slightly a better film. I can't say I enjoyed it more however. Maybe because I was ID'd on my way in...
4/5
Easy A
This is a smart, fast-talking and funny high-school comedy starring Emma Stone (as one of the most least-likely 'invisible' girls in cinema high school for some time but don't let that distract you). The dialogue cracks along, the performances are almost universally satisfying and if the plot gets a bit unlikely there's more than enough good will for it to get away with it.
3.7/5
Machete
This film is ridiculous (but you knew that right?). As an homage to the grindhouse/exploitaiton genre it could (and should) have been a lot of fun. Unfortunately it gets bogged down in an unecessarily complicated plot turning a thrilling revenge flick into a soupy mess of blood, tits & ass. Everyone gives it their best and it's not an unmitigated disaster but a firmer hand at the tiller would have done wonders.
2.5/5
This is a smart, fast-talking and funny high-school comedy starring Emma Stone (as one of the most least-likely 'invisible' girls in cinema high school for some time but don't let that distract you). The dialogue cracks along, the performances are almost universally satisfying and if the plot gets a bit unlikely there's more than enough good will for it to get away with it.
3.7/5
Machete
This film is ridiculous (but you knew that right?). As an homage to the grindhouse/exploitaiton genre it could (and should) have been a lot of fun. Unfortunately it gets bogged down in an unecessarily complicated plot turning a thrilling revenge flick into a soupy mess of blood, tits & ass. Everyone gives it their best and it's not an unmitigated disaster but a firmer hand at the tiller would have done wonders.
2.5/5
Point Blank
An effective French thriller in which a male nurse saves the life of a patient and is subsequently forced to spring him from hospital to save his heavily pregnant wife from kidnappers. From this moment on the action doen't stop in what becomes a more-or-less constant run from the bad guys with someone who might be a bad guy...who to trust?
Worth a look even if to see how easy it seems to be to impersonate a policeman in France; one orange armband and you're in.
3.5/5
An effective French thriller in which a male nurse saves the life of a patient and is subsequently forced to spring him from hospital to save his heavily pregnant wife from kidnappers. From this moment on the action doen't stop in what becomes a more-or-less constant run from the bad guys with someone who might be a bad guy...who to trust?
Worth a look even if to see how easy it seems to be to impersonate a policeman in France; one orange armband and you're in.
3.5/5
Uncle Boonme Who Can Recall His Past Lives
What the Feck?
This is a film that certain critics seem to adore, it even won the Palm D'Or in 2010. For mere mortals however, it will probably inspire feelings of somnolence and/or confusion. Plot-wise it's simple: Boonme moves to the country to be look after by his sister-in-law and a carer; whilst at dinner on the first night they are joined by the spirit of his dead wife who they promptly show photos of her funeral. Soon their son, who has been missing for six years, joins the party in the form of a monkey spirit with glowing red eyes. Then a disfigured princess has sex with a carp...and later Boonme dies. I may have missed something as I fell asleep a couple of times but I think I caught the gist: not a lot happens, but stuff that does happen is weird, arty and Thai.
1/5
What the Feck?
This is a film that certain critics seem to adore, it even won the Palm D'Or in 2010. For mere mortals however, it will probably inspire feelings of somnolence and/or confusion. Plot-wise it's simple: Boonme moves to the country to be look after by his sister-in-law and a carer; whilst at dinner on the first night they are joined by the spirit of his dead wife who they promptly show photos of her funeral. Soon their son, who has been missing for six years, joins the party in the form of a monkey spirit with glowing red eyes. Then a disfigured princess has sex with a carp...and later Boonme dies. I may have missed something as I fell asleep a couple of times but I think I caught the gist: not a lot happens, but stuff that does happen is weird, arty and Thai.
1/5
Lifeforce
I enjoyed the hell out of this movie, and I imagine it has Pete worried. The plot is bizarre in the extreme, but it is basically a vampire/zombies/sci-fi movie with a load of 70s style naked women thrown in and the occasional naked man, just for balance.
I found it hilarious and some of the effects were amazing (not in a "wow, technical genius" way, more in a "wow, explody heads" way). Seriously, it is well worth the time spent and even has Patrick Stewart and Peter Firth (of Spooks fame). Patrick Stewart is ace, as always, although in a minor role, and Peter Firth seems to be perfecting the mannerisms that will serve him so well in MI-5.
3.9/5
I enjoyed the hell out of this movie, and I imagine it has Pete worried. The plot is bizarre in the extreme, but it is basically a vampire/zombies/sci-fi movie with a load of 70s style naked women thrown in and the occasional naked man, just for balance.
I found it hilarious and some of the effects were amazing (not in a "wow, technical genius" way, more in a "wow, explody heads" way). Seriously, it is well worth the time spent and even has Patrick Stewart and Peter Firth (of Spooks fame). Patrick Stewart is ace, as always, although in a minor role, and Peter Firth seems to be perfecting the mannerisms that will serve him so well in MI-5.
3.9/5
Wow, adapted from the novel The Space Vampires...awesome, that's on the list.
Tucker and Dale vs Evil
When one of their friends is taken by a pair of sinister-looking hillbillies, a group of vacationing students takes it upon themselves to rescue her, but all is not as it seems: Tucker and Dale are actually great guys, who saved her from drowning and who are bewildered when crazy college kids start killing themselves all over their property.
This is a great little film, Alan Tudyk and Talor Levine are perfect as the eponymous heroes and if it starts to run out of steam in the final leg it's not enough to spoil the fun.
Funny 4/5
Tucker and Dale vs Evil
When one of their friends is taken by a pair of sinister-looking hillbillies, a group of vacationing students takes it upon themselves to rescue her, but all is not as it seems: Tucker and Dale are actually great guys, who saved her from drowning and who are bewildered when crazy college kids start killing themselves all over their property.
This is a great little film, Alan Tudyk and Talor Levine are perfect as the eponymous heroes and if it starts to run out of steam in the final leg it's not enough to spoil the fun.
Funny 4/5
QUOTE(Jennie @ 31-Jan-12, 9:13)
Lifeforce
I enjoyed the hell out of this movie, and I imagine it has Pete worried. The plot is bizarre in the extreme, but it is basically a vampire/zombies/sci-fi movie with a load of 70s style naked women thrown in and the occasional naked man, just for balance.
I found it hilarious and some of the effects were amazing (not in a "wow, technical genius" way, more in a "wow, explody heads" way). Seriously, it is well worth the time spent and even has Patrick Stewart and Peter Firth (of Spooks fame). Patrick Stewart is ace, as always, although in a minor role, and Peter Firth seems to be perfecting the mannerisms that will serve him so well in MI-5.
3.9/5
I enjoyed the hell out of this movie, and I imagine it has Pete worried. The plot is bizarre in the extreme, but it is basically a vampire/zombies/sci-fi movie with a load of 70s style naked women thrown in and the occasional naked man, just for balance.
I found it hilarious and some of the effects were amazing (not in a "wow, technical genius" way, more in a "wow, explody heads" way). Seriously, it is well worth the time spent and even has Patrick Stewart and Peter Firth (of Spooks fame). Patrick Stewart is ace, as always, although in a minor role, and Peter Firth seems to be perfecting the mannerisms that will serve him so well in MI-5.
3.9/5
As I mentioned on Google+, I think I have seen this film, but I don't remember exploding heads so I might be wrong.
I will not comment further, but I will make two completely tangential recommendations based on your review.
Firstly, if you like exploding heads, then Cronenberg's Scanners is the pinnacle of the sub-sub-genre.
Secondly, if you like seeing Patrick Stewart in minor roles, then I suggest that you watch the BBC version of Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy. Stewart has a key, albeit very brief, role in which he doesn't say a single word but still manages to keep up with Alec Guinness in the acting stakes.
Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows
Much like King, I enjoyed this.
Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol
I also enjoyed this a lot. It struck a good balance between unleashing brilliant action set-pieces and not taking itself too seriously. My main criticism is that it lacked a genuinely threatening villain, which had been the previous installment's primary strength.
The Adventures of Tintin: Secret of the Unicorn
Going a bit further back now, but this was also fun.
Sorry for the lack of detailed reviews - I will try and raise my game again in future.
We saw Ghost Protocol recently as well. At one point I actually ducked in an attempt to save Tom Cruise from smacking himself with a wall for the umpteenth time. Brilliant times.
As Jess has been working we haven't been to see those films that aren't a must-see (no Orange Wednesdays see?) so I'm waiting for DVD for M:I and Tintin (and Hugo for that matter) but they're in the queue.
I've been upgraded to 2 discs at a time though so I'm catching up on my reviews for posterity...
Salt
Fun in a leave-your-brain-at-the-door sort of way. Angelina Jolie does look nice in a fur hat. 3/5
The Guard
This is a slightly strange but rather good little film; starring Brendon Gleeson as a scabrous garda, a man we meet gently scolding the dead bodies of teenage joyriders before appropriating their drugs, and Don Cheedle as an FBI agent sent to intercept a haul of drugs. You might expect a fish-out-of-water comedy with Gleeson as back-up as Cheedle struggles to win over the Irish before triumphing in a last act shootout. What we get is the same story but told from Gleeson's point-of-view. His Gerry Doyle is a joyful creation of twinkly-eyed ambiguity; too busy 'whooring' and poking fun to be bribed into ignoring the crims. Cheedle provides the perfect foil as he tries to determine whether Doyle is "really fucking smart, or really fucking dumb" and the supporting cast (Mark Strong in particular) has a great deal of fun with some cracking dialogue.
I really enjoyed this though Jess had some trouble until I told her it was a comedy...
4.1/5
Arietty
This newest Ghibli film is a rather disappointingly straightforward re-telling of The Borrowers; while the animation is as beautiful as always, the tale lacks the bewildering invention of the best Ghibli films - personally I prefer the jumble they made out of Howl's Moving Castle to this standard re-setting. However, as with Pixar, the least Ghibli film is still a mile ahead of the pack, making this worth a look anyway.
3.5/5
I've been upgraded to 2 discs at a time though so I'm catching up on my reviews for posterity...
Salt
Fun in a leave-your-brain-at-the-door sort of way. Angelina Jolie does look nice in a fur hat. 3/5
The Guard
This is a slightly strange but rather good little film; starring Brendon Gleeson as a scabrous garda, a man we meet gently scolding the dead bodies of teenage joyriders before appropriating their drugs, and Don Cheedle as an FBI agent sent to intercept a haul of drugs. You might expect a fish-out-of-water comedy with Gleeson as back-up as Cheedle struggles to win over the Irish before triumphing in a last act shootout. What we get is the same story but told from Gleeson's point-of-view. His Gerry Doyle is a joyful creation of twinkly-eyed ambiguity; too busy 'whooring' and poking fun to be bribed into ignoring the crims. Cheedle provides the perfect foil as he tries to determine whether Doyle is "really fucking smart, or really fucking dumb" and the supporting cast (Mark Strong in particular) has a great deal of fun with some cracking dialogue.
I really enjoyed this though Jess had some trouble until I told her it was a comedy...
4.1/5
Arietty
This newest Ghibli film is a rather disappointingly straightforward re-telling of The Borrowers; while the animation is as beautiful as always, the tale lacks the bewildering invention of the best Ghibli films - personally I prefer the jumble they made out of Howl's Moving Castle to this standard re-setting. However, as with Pixar, the least Ghibli film is still a mile ahead of the pack, making this worth a look anyway.
3.5/5
QUOTE
Salt
Fun in a leave-your-brain-at-the-door sort of way. Angelina Jolie does look nice in a fur hat. 3/5
Fun in a leave-your-brain-at-the-door sort of way. Angelina Jolie does look nice in a fur hat. 3/5
Hmm, I left my brain at the door but still had no fun at all. Angelina doesn't look good to me in anything these days. Maybe I am getting old.
Possibly, possibly. I wouldn't have had nearly as much fun in the cinema so perhaps I should have qualified that remark by mentioning the door at which one should leave one's brain is the one leading to your living room/bedroom/private viewing palace.
.
.
The Muppets
When a Muppets fan discovers that their studio is to be pulled down by an evil oil baron he sets out to gather together the disbanded team in order to save the day. With singing chickens.
An absolute joy; I haven't laughed so much, so consistently in the cinema before. I haven't ever really taken much notice of The Muppets before, they've always just been there and then they weren't really, but it is obvious that for some people they've never left. Jason Segal is obviously one of those people and he has written a film with an innate understanding of what makes them funny and appealing. Draughting in Brett McKenzie (from Flight of the Conchords) to write the songs is a stroke of genius: the song 'Man or Muppet' is just one of many highlights in a great film (and he is going to win an Oscar for it).
It's not perfect: one of the things the original TV series did was get in a proper star to muck about in a shonky vaudeville show with a bunch of puppets; here they have Jack Black. But when scenes don't quite bring the house down another one whips along to take its place before you know it and almost before you notice.
I'm not sure if it'll have a similar impact the second time round; the jokes I'd already seen in the trailers certainly didn't, but I'd almost give it another go for the songs alone.
4.5/5
When a Muppets fan discovers that their studio is to be pulled down by an evil oil baron he sets out to gather together the disbanded team in order to save the day. With singing chickens.
An absolute joy; I haven't laughed so much, so consistently in the cinema before. I haven't ever really taken much notice of The Muppets before, they've always just been there and then they weren't really, but it is obvious that for some people they've never left. Jason Segal is obviously one of those people and he has written a film with an innate understanding of what makes them funny and appealing. Draughting in Brett McKenzie (from Flight of the Conchords) to write the songs is a stroke of genius: the song 'Man or Muppet' is just one of many highlights in a great film (and he is going to win an Oscar for it).
It's not perfect: one of the things the original TV series did was get in a proper star to muck about in a shonky vaudeville show with a bunch of puppets; here they have Jack Black. But when scenes don't quite bring the house down another one whips along to take its place before you know it and almost before you notice.
I'm not sure if it'll have a similar impact the second time round; the jokes I'd already seen in the trailers certainly didn't, but I'd almost give it another go for the songs alone.
4.5/5
QUOTE(King @ 14-Feb-12, 11:59)
The Muppets
When a Muppets fan discovers that their studio is to be pulled down by an evil oil baron he sets out to gather together the disbanded team in order to save the day. With singing chickens.
An absolute joy; I haven't laughed so much, so consistently in the cinema before. I haven't ever really taken much notice of The Muppets before, they've always just been there and then they weren't really, but it is obvious that for some people they've never left. Jason Segal is obviously one of those people and he has written a film with an innate understanding of what makes them funny and appealing. Draughting in Brett McKenzie (from Flight of the Conchords) to write the songs is a stroke of genius: the song 'Man or Muppet' is just one of many highlights in a great film (and he is going to win an Oscar for it).
It's not perfect: one of the things the original TV series did was get in a proper star to muck about in a shonky vaudeville show with a bunch of puppets; here they have Jack Black. But when scenes don't quite bring the house down another one whips along to take its place before you know it and almost before you notice.
I'm not sure if it'll have a similar impact the second time round; the jokes I'd already seen in the trailers certainly didn't, but I'd almost give it another go for the songs alone.
4.5/5
When a Muppets fan discovers that their studio is to be pulled down by an evil oil baron he sets out to gather together the disbanded team in order to save the day. With singing chickens.
An absolute joy; I haven't laughed so much, so consistently in the cinema before. I haven't ever really taken much notice of The Muppets before, they've always just been there and then they weren't really, but it is obvious that for some people they've never left. Jason Segal is obviously one of those people and he has written a film with an innate understanding of what makes them funny and appealing. Draughting in Brett McKenzie (from Flight of the Conchords) to write the songs is a stroke of genius: the song 'Man or Muppet' is just one of many highlights in a great film (and he is going to win an Oscar for it).
It's not perfect: one of the things the original TV series did was get in a proper star to muck about in a shonky vaudeville show with a bunch of puppets; here they have Jack Black. But when scenes don't quite bring the house down another one whips along to take its place before you know it and almost before you notice.
I'm not sure if it'll have a similar impact the second time round; the jokes I'd already seen in the trailers certainly didn't, but I'd almost give it another go for the songs alone.
4.5/5
Yes I absolutely aggree with Mike for once. I will say however that I am disappointed in you Mike for not drawing attention to the 'Man or Muppet' song as a highlight of the film with it's special 'treat' moment where Walter looks in the mirror to see his human form. Chris and I near fell off our seats laughing and I brought on a wave of Braxton Hicks contractions...but it was OH so worth it! If you are unlikely to see the film you can search the 'Man or Muppet' song and watch that instead
. I recommend that you do!!!
Yes absolutely.
That was a particular highlight for both me and Jess (and I did single out the song above) but I thought I'd keep the special 'treat' moment quiet so as not to chance ruining the surprise. We giggled ourselves silly throughout the song from that reveal.
I'd counter your recommendation with saying that if you're unlikely to see the film, stop being an idiot and go and see the film!
That was a particular highlight for both me and Jess (and I did single out the song above) but I thought I'd keep the special 'treat' moment quiet so as not to chance ruining the surprise. We giggled ourselves silly throughout the song from that reveal.
I'd counter your recommendation with saying that if you're unlikely to see the film, stop being an idiot and go and see the film!
QUOTE(King @ 14-Feb-12, 12:47)
Yes absolutely.
That was a particular highlight for both me and Jess (and I did single out the song above)
That was a particular highlight for both me and Jess (and I did single out the song above)
oh yes....so you did...What shit skim reading on my behalf!
Skeletons
A slightly bonkers but well-shot, stylish and funny British film focusing on two 'domestic clearance experts' who come in to uncover family secrets and then bugger off to the next job. I can't really describe it further other than to say that it's arch and at times deliberately obtuse but has a warm, if dysfunctional, centre that really appealed to me and hence I recommend it heartily.
4/5
Cave of Forgotten Dreams
German documentary maker Werner Herzog is the only person that has been allowed to film inside the Chavet Caves, a series of perfectly preserved caves with paintings dating back to 35,000 years ago. Discovered in 1994 it ws almost immediately sealed off again and since fewer people have stepped foot in the cave than have been to the moon.
Herzog makes the restrictions and necessary difficulties of filming in the caves (they are restricted to 3 foot wide walkways, handheld cameras and light panels running off belt-batteries) part of the film and while he concentrates on these and the discoveries of the scientists it is fascinating. Towards the end however the soundtrack of mordant, disquieting cello begins to grate and the virtuoso sequence towards the end showcasing the paintings themselves lit by two lights and brought to life by the movement of the camera just was a little boring as we'd already seen them all. Fortunately Herzog brings it back with his final philosophical musings via a pair of albino alligators from a nuclear power station 20 miles down the road...really.
A fascinating documentary then but defiantly Herzogian; he can't resist making it into a comment on the mysteries human soul. Not a bad thing but I wonder what the BBC and Attenborough could do with the place...probably nothing under the restrictions but still.
3/5
A slightly bonkers but well-shot, stylish and funny British film focusing on two 'domestic clearance experts' who come in to uncover family secrets and then bugger off to the next job. I can't really describe it further other than to say that it's arch and at times deliberately obtuse but has a warm, if dysfunctional, centre that really appealed to me and hence I recommend it heartily.
4/5
Cave of Forgotten Dreams
German documentary maker Werner Herzog is the only person that has been allowed to film inside the Chavet Caves, a series of perfectly preserved caves with paintings dating back to 35,000 years ago. Discovered in 1994 it ws almost immediately sealed off again and since fewer people have stepped foot in the cave than have been to the moon.
Herzog makes the restrictions and necessary difficulties of filming in the caves (they are restricted to 3 foot wide walkways, handheld cameras and light panels running off belt-batteries) part of the film and while he concentrates on these and the discoveries of the scientists it is fascinating. Towards the end however the soundtrack of mordant, disquieting cello begins to grate and the virtuoso sequence towards the end showcasing the paintings themselves lit by two lights and brought to life by the movement of the camera just was a little boring as we'd already seen them all. Fortunately Herzog brings it back with his final philosophical musings via a pair of albino alligators from a nuclear power station 20 miles down the road...really.
A fascinating documentary then but defiantly Herzogian; he can't resist making it into a comment on the mysteries human soul. Not a bad thing but I wonder what the BBC and Attenborough could do with the place...probably nothing under the restrictions but still.
3/5
Pirates! In an Adventure with Scientists!
I found this to be a little disappointing; it was amusing and had loads of little jokes hidden around the place like the best of Aardman (or the Asterix books) but I felt a little like everyone was laughing at an in joke that didn't include me...except no-one was really laughing.
Anyway the characters are great and spending time with them is fun but the plot whizzes along without much focus and when the thing I remember most is the song about not crying ("I'm not crying, I'm just sweating from my eyes") it's time to go away and watch Flight of the Conchords.
3/5
I found this to be a little disappointing; it was amusing and had loads of little jokes hidden around the place like the best of Aardman (or the Asterix books) but I felt a little like everyone was laughing at an in joke that didn't include me...except no-one was really laughing.
Anyway the characters are great and spending time with them is fun but the plot whizzes along without much focus and when the thing I remember most is the song about not crying ("I'm not crying, I'm just sweating from my eyes") it's time to go away and watch Flight of the Conchords.
3/5
Captain America
This was pretty good, slickly put together with some excellent CG (I believed Chris Evans was that thin) it also has a nicely downbeat ending. I'm positive about the Avengers movie after this.
3.8/5
The Mechanic
Oh dear lord! This film had one problem; it was boring. Boring and predictable. This film had two main problems: it was boring and precitable and almost entirely brown. Amongst this films problems were diverse elements such as the fact that it was boring, predictable and almost entirely brown...and distinctly misogynistic. Oh damn...I'll come in again.
Wow this film was bad: It's not like I ask for a lot from a Jason Statham film but this waited until an hour in for him to punch anyone...THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE! Punchy, punchy, kicky, kicky, that's all I ask...enough of the talking with an accent as authentically American as Knees up Mother Brown and get down to business. And is it too much to ask to have a female character who isn't either screaming and expendable or a shit-hot, but obviously kind-hearted prostitute? Yes? Oh well.
1/5
This was pretty good, slickly put together with some excellent CG (I believed Chris Evans was that thin) it also has a nicely downbeat ending. I'm positive about the Avengers movie after this.
3.8/5
The Mechanic
Oh dear lord! This film had one problem; it was boring. Boring and predictable. This film had two main problems: it was boring and precitable and almost entirely brown. Amongst this films problems were diverse elements such as the fact that it was boring, predictable and almost entirely brown...and distinctly misogynistic. Oh damn...I'll come in again.
Wow this film was bad: It's not like I ask for a lot from a Jason Statham film but this waited until an hour in for him to punch anyone...THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE! Punchy, punchy, kicky, kicky, that's all I ask...enough of the talking with an accent as authentically American as Knees up Mother Brown and get down to business. And is it too much to ask to have a female character who isn't either screaming and expendable or a shit-hot, but obviously kind-hearted prostitute? Yes? Oh well.
1/5
Mikey - loved the Mechanic review son. I was wanting to watch this (as a general Statham action fan) but may wait till it's out on.....individual action containing clips on youtube.
Battleships
Saw this with my brothers last weekend. I think it is pretty obvious what kind of film you're going to be walking into: Maverick military characters, explosions, yee-ha! Americans...and of course aliens.
The general plot is that Earth sends a signal out to space to a planet that might support life. It does. They visit. It's unique twist is that the action is on water.
The film centers around bad boy "Hopper" (perhaps a nod to Hot Shots, a not hugely more ridiculous film) who generally screws up and is enlisted by his big brother in the navy. He's like the young James Kirk from Star Trek...but a lot dumber. He pretty much does nothing heroic in the film and his best move is relinquishing command to a Jap. Naturally he still gets all the glory.
The action is actually pretty decent though it does suffer from the problem that the alien technology is much much more powerful and Earth shouldn't really have a chance. The only advantage humans have is that the aliens don't seem to actually want to hurt anyone except when provoked. You get an 'alien-cam' view where you see them identifying potential threats as red and innocents as green. The only person in the film they actually want to hurt who isn't directly attacking them is Hopper (which is pleasing). As a result you end up having a certain sympathy for the aliens.
The battleships (the game) connection takes up about 5 minutes of the film, is ridiculous and ultimately irrelevant. But you didn't go see the film because you loved the game so this doesn't matter.
There is one moment in the film that literally had the cinema audience groaning. My brother had his head in his hands murmuring 'no no no!'
After the film one of my brothers commented that it was pretty fun given the low expectations. The other said pretty bad despite the low expectations. If you leave your brain at home it's fun enough but it is no Independence Day.
2.3/5
Battleships
Saw this with my brothers last weekend. I think it is pretty obvious what kind of film you're going to be walking into: Maverick military characters, explosions, yee-ha! Americans...and of course aliens.
The general plot is that Earth sends a signal out to space to a planet that might support life. It does. They visit. It's unique twist is that the action is on water.
The film centers around bad boy "Hopper" (perhaps a nod to Hot Shots, a not hugely more ridiculous film) who generally screws up and is enlisted by his big brother in the navy. He's like the young James Kirk from Star Trek...but a lot dumber. He pretty much does nothing heroic in the film and his best move is relinquishing command to a Jap. Naturally he still gets all the glory.
The action is actually pretty decent though it does suffer from the problem that the alien technology is much much more powerful and Earth shouldn't really have a chance. The only advantage humans have is that the aliens don't seem to actually want to hurt anyone except when provoked. You get an 'alien-cam' view where you see them identifying potential threats as red and innocents as green. The only person in the film they actually want to hurt who isn't directly attacking them is Hopper (which is pleasing). As a result you end up having a certain sympathy for the aliens.
The battleships (the game) connection takes up about 5 minutes of the film, is ridiculous and ultimately irrelevant. But you didn't go see the film because you loved the game so this doesn't matter.
There is one moment in the film that literally had the cinema audience groaning. My brother had his head in his hands murmuring 'no no no!'
After the film one of my brothers commented that it was pretty fun given the low expectations. The other said pretty bad despite the low expectations. If you leave your brain at home it's fun enough but it is no Independence Day.
2.3/5
QUOTE(DanSon @ 18-Apr-12, 16:16)
Battleships[/b
2.3/5
2.3/5
The fact that you haven't mentioned Rihanna can only suggest that she was either a cameo in the trailer or that you did in fact go in with your batty glasses on. Please confirm either way. lalaalalalalala
[B]Friends With Bnefits
Despite the fact that Mila Kunis is wonderful to look at (and JT does get his shirt off quite a bit so Danny will be happy) semi naked or even with her body double in the mix, this film is a steaming pile of turd. The premise is lame. The script is lame. There are about 4 laugh out loud moments which do not save the film. JT does some intensely lame singing and soundtracking to moments in the film, but after all the slinking he's been doing over the last couple of decades, this makes him seem batty. By the end of the film, something inside me had thrown up on itself and passed away. Don't watch this film. Even Steven Segal's latest movie is better than this.
I have no interest in shit pop singers trying to be film stars. I don't want no fuckin' umbrella.
Hi. Just popping in briefly to say that Rihanna isn't a shit pop star, she's actually a pretty good pop star.
Battleships does look like a pile of old bum though.
On the subject of Statham, I'm looking forward to Safe: "gangsters......killers......cops.........Statham".
Battleships does look like a pile of old bum though.
On the subject of Statham, I'm looking forward to Safe: "gangsters......killers......cops.........Statham".
Yeah Safe is supposed to be good...probably wait for it on DVD though. I would like to catch The Raid though (indonesian/welsh Hard Boiled-type action).
Just coming on to say The Avengers was amazing, Joss Whedon has knocked it out of the park. I have found however that we left too soon and that there are two credit scenes; one early onj showing the next villain and one right at the end completing a joke in the movie...
Anyway 4.6/5
Just coming on to say The Avengers was amazing, Joss Whedon has knocked it out of the park. I have found however that we left too soon and that there are two credit scenes; one early onj showing the next villain and one right at the end completing a joke in the movie...
Anyway 4.6/5
TT3D: Closer to the Edge
This is an interesting documentary following the fortunes of various competitors in the 2010 Isle of Man TT, its gimmick being that it was filmed in 3D so you too could feel the speed. Obviously this became essentially pointless the moment the next 3D kids' movie came along (so about a day then) so it's a good thing that the filmakers abandoned most of the helmet-cam footage after about five minutes and concentrated instead on the dangers of the race and the personalities involved. Unfortunately most riders aren't actually that charismatic; fortunately one of them is. It pretty quickly turns into the Guy Martin show; Martin is a man with Wolverine chops, a cavalier attitude to authority and a Yorkshire accent so broad he could be speaking Klingon at times and is great company for the majority of the running time. Recommended even if you have no interest in the racing (like me).
3.7/5
This is an interesting documentary following the fortunes of various competitors in the 2010 Isle of Man TT, its gimmick being that it was filmed in 3D so you too could feel the speed. Obviously this became essentially pointless the moment the next 3D kids' movie came along (so about a day then) so it's a good thing that the filmakers abandoned most of the helmet-cam footage after about five minutes and concentrated instead on the dangers of the race and the personalities involved. Unfortunately most riders aren't actually that charismatic; fortunately one of them is. It pretty quickly turns into the Guy Martin show; Martin is a man with Wolverine chops, a cavalier attitude to authority and a Yorkshire accent so broad he could be speaking Klingon at times and is great company for the majority of the running time. Recommended even if you have no interest in the racing (like me).
3.7/5
QUOTE
I have found however that we left too soon and that there are two credit scenes; one early onj showing the next villain and one right at the end completing a joke in the movie...
You left a Marvel film before the end of the credits? Amateur.
QUOTE(jonnyploy @ 13-May-12, 2:20)
QUOTE
I have found however that we left too soon and that there are two credit scenes; one early onj showing the next villain and one right at the end completing a joke in the movie...
You left a Marvel film before the end of the credits? Amateur.
I did too =( Though I'd assumed that the first credits scene WAS the end of the credits. Foiled by Whedon's cunnivary.
Yes same here; though in our defence the scene was a later than last minute addition; they filmed it after the premiere as they only thought up the idea after wrapping and the prem was the only time they could all get together. Cap' has his face in his hands the whole time 'cos Chris Evans had a beard...
Still we are amateurs...
Hunger Games
Based on the novel of the same name this film follows the fortunes of Katnis Everdean, a teenaged girl in a dystopian America that has been split into 12 districts. Each district must send one girl and one boy each year to compete in The Hunger Games - a fight to the death in an arena with one survivor. Guess who's chosen this year?
So Battle Royale with cheese? Pretty much but less violent, less Japanese and with an excellent central performance from Jennifer Lawrence. It's worth seeing as it's excellently put together; even though I felt the cuts they made to get a 12A rating (there's little blood on show), they managed to make me feel nervous throughout, managing to portray the fear and exhaustion of the situation excellently. Still it sagged a bit at times and I never really got the sense that the games were the big deal everyone was saying but overall it's worth seeing.
3.7/5
Still we are amateurs...
Hunger Games
Based on the novel of the same name this film follows the fortunes of Katnis Everdean, a teenaged girl in a dystopian America that has been split into 12 districts. Each district must send one girl and one boy each year to compete in The Hunger Games - a fight to the death in an arena with one survivor. Guess who's chosen this year?
So Battle Royale with cheese? Pretty much but less violent, less Japanese and with an excellent central performance from Jennifer Lawrence. It's worth seeing as it's excellently put together; even though I felt the cuts they made to get a 12A rating (there's little blood on show), they managed to make me feel nervous throughout, managing to portray the fear and exhaustion of the situation excellently. Still it sagged a bit at times and I never really got the sense that the games were the big deal everyone was saying but overall it's worth seeing.
3.7/5
P.S. Cunnivery? I'm not sure that what Joss gets up to in the bedroom has anything to do with this Dan...
Troll Hunter
In this entry to the 'found footage' genre a trio of documentary-making students stumble across Norway's only troll hunter who eventually agrees to show them what he does.
Entertaining, with a strong central premise and character this film surprises with the quality of its CG monsters; no holding back with portentous glimpses until the final minutes (hello Monsters) for this film - we get to seee full on troll in almost the first encounter. It's in the creature design and concept where the film really soars, imagining Norway's mythical Trolls as real, breathing mammals that the government see more as a pest than anything, and going on from there. Where the film falls a little flat is in the characterisation of its supporting roles: The documentary crew are given little to do in front of the camera (an understandable but annoying feature of the found-footage concept) and while Hans the troll hunter is strong anough to carry most of the weight, the lack of emotion when one of the crew buys the farm is telling.
Still any film that asks the question, "If a troll can smell the blood of a Christian how will it feel about a follower of Islam?" must be worth a look. 3.5/5
In this entry to the 'found footage' genre a trio of documentary-making students stumble across Norway's only troll hunter who eventually agrees to show them what he does.
Entertaining, with a strong central premise and character this film surprises with the quality of its CG monsters; no holding back with portentous glimpses until the final minutes (hello Monsters) for this film - we get to seee full on troll in almost the first encounter. It's in the creature design and concept where the film really soars, imagining Norway's mythical Trolls as real, breathing mammals that the government see more as a pest than anything, and going on from there. Where the film falls a little flat is in the characterisation of its supporting roles: The documentary crew are given little to do in front of the camera (an understandable but annoying feature of the found-footage concept) and while Hans the troll hunter is strong anough to carry most of the weight, the lack of emotion when one of the crew buys the farm is telling.
Still any film that asks the question, "If a troll can smell the blood of a Christian how will it feel about a follower of Islam?" must be worth a look. 3.5/5
Thank you King. So it is nothing at all to do with this invasion of ridiculous 'hunter' titles?
For those curious titles to include:
Snow White and the Huntsman (is that different?)
Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters
and the utterly absurd:
Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter
Prometheus
Long awaited (33 years awatingness to be precise) Alien prequel by the original director Ridley Scott. Two scientists discover cave markings from around the world and across the millennia that all contain the same constellation of stars. Obviously this must have been caused by Alien gods who created us.
So the team acquire funding from a Billionaire to jet off to meet their makers.
They arrive on a semi-inhabitable 'moon' that can support life and find alien structures that they explore. Naturally things go wrong and people start to die in the expected ways. Sadly, whilst there are Alien things, there is in fact a nearly* complete absence of actual proper double jawed drooling aliens.
Still, now that you know this and are not expecting it you can go and see the film and really quite enjoy it. It has some thrilling moments including one spectacular scene involving a woman giving herself a caesarian section in an attempt to remove an alien before she explodes. Brilliant, nail biting, claustrophobic terror.
I enjoyed the movie though I would have done more if I hadn't been expecting proper aliens. Now that I've told you though you can go and enjoy it even more than I did and thank me later.
3.25/5
* basically just a 5 second pre credit scene shot.
For those curious titles to include:
Snow White and the Huntsman (is that different?)
Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters
and the utterly absurd:
Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter
Prometheus
Long awaited (33 years awatingness to be precise) Alien prequel by the original director Ridley Scott. Two scientists discover cave markings from around the world and across the millennia that all contain the same constellation of stars. Obviously this must have been caused by Alien gods who created us.
So the team acquire funding from a Billionaire to jet off to meet their makers.
They arrive on a semi-inhabitable 'moon' that can support life and find alien structures that they explore. Naturally things go wrong and people start to die in the expected ways. Sadly, whilst there are Alien things, there is in fact a nearly* complete absence of actual proper double jawed drooling aliens.
Still, now that you know this and are not expecting it you can go and see the film and really quite enjoy it. It has some thrilling moments including one spectacular scene involving a woman giving herself a caesarian section in an attempt to remove an alien before she explodes. Brilliant, nail biting, claustrophobic terror.
I enjoyed the movie though I would have done more if I hadn't been expecting proper aliens. Now that I've told you though you can go and enjoy it even more than I did and thank me later.
3.25/5
* basically just a 5 second pre credit scene shot.
I think we can safely assume Troll Hunter was before this this strange little bandwagon yes.
So Prometheus is a decent sci-fi actioner set in the same universe as but not really featuring Aliens. Not game-changing but not terrible? I have to say the plot looks terrible...I think I'll wait for the DVD.
Inbetweeners
Painfully funny. A must-watch if you like the TV series and worth a look if you haven't watched any of it yet. Avoid if you're easily offended by phrases such as "This girl's so wet for me I can hear the waves breaking in her fanny." and the repeated use of the word clunge.
3.8/5
So Prometheus is a decent sci-fi actioner set in the same universe as but not really featuring Aliens. Not game-changing but not terrible? I have to say the plot looks terrible...I think I'll wait for the DVD.
Inbetweeners
Painfully funny. A must-watch if you like the TV series and worth a look if you haven't watched any of it yet. Avoid if you're easily offended by phrases such as "This girl's so wet for me I can hear the waves breaking in her fanny." and the repeated use of the word clunge.
3.8/5
Prometheus
I have to say I enjoyed this more than most. The scientists were all a bit hand-wavy / spritual for my liking, and there were a couple of unnecessary "comic-relief" characters, but overall I think about as good a job was done of delving back into the Alien universe as was possible. Dannyboy is correct to say that the self-surgery scene was spine-twistingly intense.
King: Whilst I understand your lack of keenness to see this at the cinema, I do think that it will lose a lot in the transfer to the small screen. It's main strength is that it looks gorgeous which, unless you are watching in full HD on basically a projector, will not come across as well in the home.
Iron Sky
The year is 2018, and a Palin-esque President of the United States has decided that in order to secure a second term she should send a black man to the moon. Once on the moon, our hero encounters a Nazi base. It turns out that the Nazis colonised the moon at the end of WW2 in order to regroup and reinvade at a later date.
At that point I'm going to stop, because if the synopsis of the film doesn't make you want to go and see it immediately then I really don't know what to say to you.
This film is awesome. I laughed. A lot.
The Amazing Spiderman
I'm sure you all know the deal with this one - it's a complete reboot of Spiderman.
I'll keep this short. It's an excellent film.
For those who don't know, we're starting again from the beginning in this one, and the main difference with the first time around are as follows:
- Peter Parker's parents and what happened to them plays a part in the plot and character development
- Gwen Stacy is the love interest (this is good news for a number of reasons)
- New villain
Andrew Garfield (Parker) and Emma Stone (Stacy) have more charisma and chemistry than Tobey Maguire and Kirsten Dunst could ever dream of. I am now in love with Emma Stone and I will remain besotted with her until Rachel Weisz reminds me who I really love in the upcoming Bourne film.
The action is handled well throughout and Spiderman's movements are much more spider-like than in the previous films, which I preferred.
I haven't read Empire's review yet, but apparently they weren't thrilled. I disagree. I'm hoping for sequels.
I have to say I enjoyed this more than most. The scientists were all a bit hand-wavy / spritual for my liking, and there were a couple of unnecessary "comic-relief" characters, but overall I think about as good a job was done of delving back into the Alien universe as was possible. Dannyboy is correct to say that the self-surgery scene was spine-twistingly intense.
King: Whilst I understand your lack of keenness to see this at the cinema, I do think that it will lose a lot in the transfer to the small screen. It's main strength is that it looks gorgeous which, unless you are watching in full HD on basically a projector, will not come across as well in the home.
Iron Sky
The year is 2018, and a Palin-esque President of the United States has decided that in order to secure a second term she should send a black man to the moon. Once on the moon, our hero encounters a Nazi base. It turns out that the Nazis colonised the moon at the end of WW2 in order to regroup and reinvade at a later date.
At that point I'm going to stop, because if the synopsis of the film doesn't make you want to go and see it immediately then I really don't know what to say to you.
This film is awesome. I laughed. A lot.
The Amazing Spiderman
I'm sure you all know the deal with this one - it's a complete reboot of Spiderman.
I'll keep this short. It's an excellent film.
For those who don't know, we're starting again from the beginning in this one, and the main difference with the first time around are as follows:
- Peter Parker's parents and what happened to them plays a part in the plot and character development
- Gwen Stacy is the love interest (this is good news for a number of reasons)
- New villain
Andrew Garfield (Parker) and Emma Stone (Stacy) have more charisma and chemistry than Tobey Maguire and Kirsten Dunst could ever dream of. I am now in love with Emma Stone and I will remain besotted with her until Rachel Weisz reminds me who I really love in the upcoming Bourne film.
The action is handled well throughout and Spiderman's movements are much more spider-like than in the previous films, which I preferred.
I haven't read Empire's review yet, but apparently they weren't thrilled. I disagree. I'm hoping for sequels.
Empire weren't thrilled but they did like it (3 stars = Good (a recommendation)). I agree with you Jonny The Amazing Spiderman was really enjoyable.
Andrew Garfield and Emma Stone were both excellent; I loved their barely articulate verbal exchanges and the fact Gwen Stacey wouldn't stand in anyone's bloody doorway...
Also webspinners: awesome.
And Uncle Ben: President Bartlett.
My main problems were that Spidey couldn't seem to keep his bloody mask on (what's the point?) and that Peter Parker, genius science nerd uses Bing as his search engine...uh, no.
3.9/5
Rest assured they announced this week that it is to be a trilogy. W00t.
Iron Sky is on my rental list. Now we wait...for The Dark Knight Rises.
Andrew Garfield and Emma Stone were both excellent; I loved their barely articulate verbal exchanges and the fact Gwen Stacey wouldn't stand in anyone's bloody doorway...
Also webspinners: awesome.
And Uncle Ben: President Bartlett.
My main problems were that Spidey couldn't seem to keep his bloody mask on (what's the point?) and that Peter Parker, genius science nerd uses Bing as his search engine...uh, no.
3.9/5
Rest assured they announced this week that it is to be a trilogy. W00t.
Iron Sky is on my rental list. Now we wait...for The Dark Knight Rises.
Looper
In the year 2044 there exists a particular type of hit man; a Looper is a man who is paid in silver to execute people sent back in time for that express purpose and dispose of the bodies. When Joe (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) fails to 'close his loop' by killing his older self (Bruce Willis) he tries to pick up the pieces by hunting him down and finishing him off.
I am a huge fan of Rian Johnson's first film, Brick, and so was looking forward to a foray into SF with eager anticipation: I'm glad to say it was worth the wait. The world inhabited by JG-L's callow, drug-addicted shooter is recognisably similar to ours but with the odd hover bike, normal cars running off jury-rigged solar panels and a divide between town and country, rich and poor worthy of the Great Depression. And time travel. Fortunately this is a film that doesn't get tied up in knots trying to explain away all the intricacies; instead it is expressly stated that time travel bakes one's noodle and it's best not to think about it lest you end up drawing diagrams the table...look at the sparkly action happening over here! Surprisingly though this isn't all shiny, high concept, SF action like Source Code; as the plot progresses, and we get to see Old Joe's motivation is beyond mere survival, Children of the Corn-style horror tropes start creeping in to turn the second half into something more.
The three leads are good value; though Bruce does nothing more than his usual weary but rock-hard shtick, he has it down to a fine art, and neither JG-L nor Emily Blunt do anything but increase my (totally hetero) acting crush.
I highly recommend a trip to see this (and, if you haven't already it checked out, a viewing of Brick). 4.2/5
Uh...yeah and TDKR was great; in fact it shows the quality of the trilogy that a film as engaging, well-acted and all round satisfying has loads of little niggles which still don't manage to ruin the overall experience.
4.5/5
4.5/5
Skyfall
Mmm new Bond...tasty.
This is a bit of a strange one: Firstly it is an excellent film - solid four stars, tasty, as I said. The thing is, it feels really different to Bond as we know it - more like a good action thriller, while at the same time throwing in numerous nods to Bonds of the past. Daniel Craig is excellent as always, Javier Bardem, Naomi Harris Ben Wishaw and Judi Dench are all on top form and the cinematography is beautiful. I think it loses a point for me because it combines a slightly less fantastical depiction of the Bond world but still has plotholes one could drive a routemaster through (without losing the top deck). Ultimately though, carping about plotholes in a Bond film is counterproductive; you're there for the ride and what a ride it is.
4.4/5
Mmm new Bond...tasty.
This is a bit of a strange one: Firstly it is an excellent film - solid four stars, tasty, as I said. The thing is, it feels really different to Bond as we know it - more like a good action thriller, while at the same time throwing in numerous nods to Bonds of the past. Daniel Craig is excellent as always, Javier Bardem, Naomi Harris Ben Wishaw and Judi Dench are all on top form and the cinematography is beautiful. I think it loses a point for me because it combines a slightly less fantastical depiction of the Bond world but still has plotholes one could drive a routemaster through (without losing the top deck). Ultimately though, carping about plotholes in a Bond film is counterproductive; you're there for the ride and what a ride it is.
4.4/5
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