Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen,

The correct answers are:

1. Blue
2. Part I
3. Raiders of the Lost Ark
4. 12 large McSporrens
5. Empire Strikes Back

Nendick, see me after class.

Anyone for Aliens (ok more of a quadrilogy), Terminator (havent seen 3 so reserve judgement), HELLO!! THE GODFATHER (again 3 is open to scrutiny though)

1. I have all 3 on DVD, not watched any.
2. Part 1 (then 3 then 2 in that order)
3. I'm with Jon
4. Gillygangoogly
5. After 24 years I finally watched them (the original starwars trilogy). In the wrong order by mistake and without realising. I'm still confused.

6. Still have nightmares from watching Alien when i was 6. Refuse to watch the others, even now.
7. Forgotten what terminator 1 was about. A terminator?
8. Never seen any of the Godfathers

How about a list of blatently obvious bests:
Shrek 1
Spiderman 2
Xmen 2
Toystory 2 (ok ok it's a dualogy)
Austin Powers 1
Ace Ventura 2
Pirates 1
Badgerfest VI

All objectors will be summarily executed by my tame (but still potent) midget.

This Sound like fun...

1 - I'll have to watch them again. I remember liking white, but I may be making that up.

2 - Got to be the original.

3 - Raiders hands down.

4 - "Episode 14 - I took prep once"

5 - I have to vote for Jedi here, much for the same reasons as jonnyboy, but including the fat rancor keeper and his mate having a good cry over the dead beast. Quality.

6 - Ooh Alien has always been my favourite, but the films are just so different, Alien being quality suspense filled horror stylee, Aliens being Action shoot-em up genius, and 3+4 being pretty pap all round.

7 - Terminator wins, I watched all three in a row a couple of months ago.

8 - I can't remember the movies or what happened in each or how they relate to the book. Read the book it's quality. I vote for the book.

9 - Shrek 2 gets my vote, maybe not as original, but not tired and many laughs.

10 - I quite liked Spidey 3, so I'll reserve judgement for now, but I did like 2 more than 1.

11 - X-men 3 ticked my boxes - kill off cyclops at the beginning, ultimate power unleashed at the end. what more could you want?

12 - Toystory 1

13 - I reckon the first Austin Powers was best, but I can hardly remember them apart from the Tom Cruise bit at the beginning of one of them.

14 - Ace Ventura? They made more than 1?

15 - Pirates 1 is obviously the choice here...

16 - Harry Potter IV - They get slightly better each time...

Tart rips though my 'obvious' bests like a rhino through a small oveweight newcastle chav.

Not sure about Tart's Rule of Potter. I thought the timetravel one was cooler than the tournament one.

Just be glad I didn't start marking my territory like a rhino (chav or no)...

Fine:

1. I think I liked Red best.
2. 1
3. Last Crusade without a doubt.
4. I'm not sure I understand...
5. Ep 4 - In Jedi Palpatine spends far too much time jabbering.
6. I don't really go for any of them but I guess I'd watch Alien again if necessary
7. T2 is much more fun
8. I can't be bothered with the big G; I prefer Goodfellas
9. All Shreks are pretty bad but the first was the best of a bad bunch
10. S2 was probably better but I had web-fatigue by the end
11. X2 much better - X1 had a lot of set-up and 3 had no subtlety
12. TS2 managed to improve on perfection
13. Austin 1
14. Ace Ventura was bad, 2 was worse
15. PotC was what started this theme (TCotBP is easily best)
16. I too think HP gets better with age; the actors manage a new emotion each time.

Right that's quite enough of that.

9. What a relief to find that King agrees with me on Shrek. It is simply not very good. I didn't laugh at all.

In fact, I agree with King on everything except Star Wars and Alien (I prefer Aliens - more guns and 'game over man, game over!')

Wayhey! Good stuff.

I might be willing to move on Aliens actually; I'd forgotten Paxton. (I know; how could I?)

Also, Jabba spends far too much time palpitating.

I was so chuffed with that joke I very nearly fell off my chair.

It's a cracker.

Enron - The Smartest Guys in the Room

A documentary about the bankruptcy of a US company due to some creative accountancy can't have been the easiest sell to either execs or audiences. Yet the film produced is not a dry account of numbers failing to add up nor an overblown 'docu-drama' like Rogue Trader but a considered and facinating tale of hubris; a tragedy (in the dramatic sense) if you will. All the talking heads are somehow directly related to the story; whether ex-employees, analysts or reporters and the film-makers have also ammassed an impressive amount of documentary footage, both from company videos and the inquiries after the fall. The story is put together with broad enough strokes to keep it interesting but with detail on the human factors that go far to explaining the causes of Enron's collapse.
It's definitely worth a watch; but obviously if you're in a Bruckheimer mood steer clear - there's not even one gratuitous explosion (though strangely there are breasts and swearing...go figure). 4.5/5 I must read the book.

Transformers

It has been a long time since I have wanted to see a film as much as this.

The plot is wafer thin: The Decepticons want a powerful cube that has crash landed on Earth so they they can use it to enslave the human race. The Autobots want to stop them getting it. That's it.

It's a Michael Bay film. Therefore it looks like every other Michael Bay film ever: saturated colours, beautiful sweaty people, and carnage in Los Angeles.

The Transformers themselves are sheer quality and the action is blindingly good (and loud). The showdown between Autobots and Decepticons in LA had me drooling.

Look (and listen) out for:

'One shall stand, one shall fall'

Starscream battling multiple F22's in the air.

Megatron's habit of saying his own name in a Team America 'Matt Damon' kind of way.

Overall verdict: again, again, again!

Transformers

I'd agree with Jon on all the good points of the film and add that Shia LaBeouf is excellent as Sam - the kid who 'buys' BumbleBee in the form of a clapped out Camero - all anxious, twitchy and humourous. I'd also add that if the girls at school looked like Megan Fox I'd've had an aneurism.

I would also like to add some bum notes however:

Despite there being virtually no plot (you could drive Optimus through some of the holes) there was still too much; who needs a secret 'Sector 7' or an Aussi analyst (could see no point for her apart from upping the empowered female quotient), or even a Secretary for Defense. All you need is the kids and the robots and at a pinch the army squad to help out. I also have to mark them down for introducing an annoying JarJar of a robot and an idiot called Simmons.

The bangs were big enough (and expectation of intelligence low enough) that it was still v enjoyable.

It gets a 4/5 on the Bruckheimer scale and a 3/5 on the Sophia Coppla scale (which is pretty good actually).

I agree Kingol. The scenes with the techies/Secretary of Defense/annoying robot were pointless.

My favourite ridiculous plot point was the decision to take the cube from the desert to LA. This was so obviously just a ploy to move things into a city so that Michael Bay could unleash the 'Bayhem'.

That was certainly a clanker; perhaps there were too many innocent people at the Hoover Dam and they needed somewhere where almost everyone deserves to die...in an explosion, at sunset.

I aslo wondered if Sam's parents noticed his suddenly brand-new Camero and why, if Ms Fox wouldn't sit in the driver's seat, she was alright with canoodling on the bonnet of her boyfriend's robot with the others watching. Kinky.

I watched Transformers this week. I did like it.

However my enjoyment was slightly marred by the fact that I happend to blink just as the fight was coming to a close, causing me to miss the final victory maneuver. Slightly disappointing there.

Fox got hotter as the story went on. Was not a fan during the first few scenes but almost downloaded the wallpaper when i got home.

Oh and did anyone stay during/after the credits? Potential sequal!

You mean Starscream jetting out of the atmosphere or was there more?

no i mean the bit where you see megatron's fist punch out of the ocean floor, knocking out a passing angler fish.

Ok that didn't really happen. Yes, starscream buggering off (presumably to go find reinforcements?)

A little quiz - guess roughly how old Optimus Prime is. No looking it up now...

Dan

Is 'downloading the wallpaper' a euphemism?

Dirty boy, on your rug.

Is "on your rug" a suffix to that alleged euphemism?

History Boys

Very stagy, faintly amusing, almost everyone develops homosexual tendencies. Strange really. You'd be better off going to see or watching a DVD of the play. Failing that, this does the job without really inspiring. 3/5

Cars

Pretty dismal with a few (very few) rays of crunchy goodness to show just how bad it is (mainly the post credit scenes of Toy Car Story & Monster Cars Inc.).

Why Pixar felt the need to remake Doc Hollywood I'll never know.

I'd describe it as lachrymatory. 2/5

The Bourne Ultimatum
Absolute cracker from start to finish. Contains at least three sequences which will surely be considered classics for years to come. There is one hand-to-hand fight (involving the insired use of a hardback book) which had me gripping the armrest so tightly my fingers ached afterwards.

Paul Greengrass surpasses his own work in The Bourne Supremacy and that of Doug Liman in The Bourne Identity (which I actually preferred to Supremacy). It is impressive that Greengrass and the scriptwriters have kept our attention for another two films given that the plot of the whole trilogy could be written on the back of a postage stamp.

I am not a fan of Matt Damon in pretty much everything else he has done (I don't think Team America counts), but I can quite easily forgive him everything else in light of the Bourne Trilogy. He is totally convincing, both in the action scenes and the more personal sequences, and contributes greatly to the feeling of the trilogy being an emotional journey. I would think it would be a great honour to be remembered primarily for these films, let's hope that he doesn't screw it up by appearing in anything else like Good Will Hunting (pass the sick bag) or Stuck On You (I never saw this, but then again, did anyone?)

Definitely see this one.

I agree (except about GWH - I like that one), this film does not let up for one moment - excellent. It also finishes on the same image on which the trilogy starts which I rather liked.

Saw Ultimatum last night - brilliant film. Just loved some of the way things are thought through and seemly odd actions become brilliantly justified a few seconds later.

I remember seeing the 'making of' Identiy when Damon was talking about the script and how it was designed to be more 'real'. They don't just get in a car and drive they have to check a map first.

All said - I actually found the end of the film ever so slightly a let down. I thought he was going to tear things apart a bit more when, in fact, the most damaging thing is caused by a skinny lady and a small fax machine...

Hallem Foe

This is a strange little film with an excellent, if slightly disturbed, performance from Jamie Bell as the eponymous hero - a withdrawn yet charming kid who enjoys spying from rooftops. It passes the time very nicely and I 'm glad to have seen it but probably won't be watching again. 3/5

Rocky Balboa

Rocky now owns a small restaurant in Philly and splits his time between taking care of business and revisiting his dead wife's memories. When a computer programme indicates he could have beaten the current Heayweight Champion in his prime he is convinced to take part in an exhibition match against him in Vegas.

This film is much, much better than the sixth in the a series deserves to be: Gone is the bombastic, eighties showmanship, replaced by a more subdued, mature tale of things left undone. It's almost as if the four other sequels never happened and Slyvester Stallone decided to revisit Rocky 30 years on in the manner of Before Sunset. This, really, is where the interest lies; to see that virtually nothing has changed in Rocky's world despite all the memories and belts on the wall. In fact the final fight is almost a secondary consideration; the sub-plot of Rocky's mentoring of 'Little' Marie and her son Steps is almost more important to the film than his final victory over the beasts in his basement.

If you liked the first one, this is certainly worth a look. If you prefer the Dolf/Mr T episodes it may disappoint. 3/5

Useful review Kingol. I love the Dolph one ('I must break you') and the Mr T one, so on your advice I may give this one a miss. Though I suppose I could skip through to the fighting bits.

Well, each to their own JB; the fight is relatively short and sharp. Only half an hour if you can credit that!

The Science of Sleep

Michel Gondry unleashes his mind on an unsuspecting film world without the tempering influence of a Charlie Kaufman scrip; telling the story of Stephane (Gael Garcia Bernal) as he struggles to to articulate his love for next-door-neighbour Stephanie (Charlotte Gainsbourg) whilst mixing the real world and dreams.

If it seems strange to suggest Charlie Kaufman could act as a brake on the weirdness train after watching...well...any of his films and you still don't really get Eternal Sunshine... then this probably ain't the film for you. Much of the strangeness is concerned with Stephane's dream-world, where everything is home-made from cardboard and cellophane and is not always under his control. These sequences are, on the whole, wonderfully imaginative (particularly one in which Stephane tries to make his escape in a cardboard bubble car) begin to confuse the narrative as the line between dreams and the waking world blurs.

I'm not sure I was in the right mood to sit back and appreciate this open-ended tale for itself; it may need a rainy Sunday afternoon or a whole heap of drugs for that, but I'd give it another go. If only for the slightly strange notion of a film directed by a Frenchman, set in Paris with French actors but starring a Mexican speaking English. It's also a little strange to hear a Frenchwoman speaking English with a (very nice) English accent (Charlotte Gainsbourg is the daughter of Serge and Jane Birken which would explain it).

Anyway 3/5

CONTROL

The plot: a biopic of Ian Curtis, lead singer of Joy Division, based on the book 'Touching from a distance' by his wife Debbie. The film traces his life from Bowie-obsessed and shy teenager to lead singer of one of the most influential bands the UK has produced (according to some). It focuses mainly on his relationships with his wife, the rest of the band, his fight against epilepsy and the odd fit on stage, his mistress (who is gorgeous... in the film anyway), writers block, fame and his eventual suicide at the tender age of 23.

The verdict: Having never been a Joy Division/New Order fan (I basically know Love Will Tear Us Apart and Blue Monday and thats about it) I wasnt sure how much I would get into this film. Its very well acted, well paced and Sam Riley is very convincing in the lead role as you slowly watch him unravel. Some of their tunes sound pretty good/interesting which has prompted me to check them out. Not an uplifting film though. Incredible to think he achieved so much before he killed himself. He is quite a difficult character to sympathise with though as he is basically a boozing, moody, cheating bastard.

7/10 - worth a watch but only if you're in the right mood. And you can wait for it on DVD. And it helps if you were/are into Joy Division.

There's a proper trailer for [gritted teeth] The Golden Compass here.


First glimpse of daemons and the look and sound is good. Lee Scorseby is just as I'd imagined. The rest...well after listening to the audio book I'm having second thoughts about the quality of the books (every time someone calls someone else by their full name it really annoys me; it's never just Serafina, always Serafina Pekkala) so I'll wait and see.

Oh and every time they call it a fucking golden compass instead of an althiethe-bloody-ometer I want to scream. Damn Yanks. (Sorry Jennie, nothing personal.)

Smokin' Aces

The trailers promised a riot of gun-totin' action as various teams of hitmen and law enforcement officers went after magician Buddy Israel (Jeremy Piven) in a Lake Tahoe hotel. What we got was a slow build of six different teams going after the man with differing and unclear aims, resulting in a messy, chaotic, confused and confusing melange of a story.
The film actually centres on two FBI Agents played by Ryan Reynolds and Ray Liotta who are trying to...I'm not sure what they were trying to do actually...before their boss (Andy Garcia) learns about the sub-Shamalan twist and effectively screws them over by not telling.
None of the characters are particularly sympathetic (except perhaps the Feebs) and despite some nifty and amusing scenes of gunplay (sniper with 50-cal takes out FBI from another hotel, nutso neo-nazi brothers take on security with chainsaw and machetes) this feels like an opportunity lost: If the director had decided on either a tongue-in-cheek gun porn-a-thon, or a serious (if unlikely) John Woo-ish, er, gun porn-a-thon instead of a mish-mash of both this could have been fun. As it is, it's notable mainly for having Alicia Keyes as a hit-woman, the next Captain Kirk (Chris Pine) as a loopy redneck and a nifty floating-card trick (as noted by Tart) performed by Jeremy Piven.

Not fun enough to score on the Bruckheimer scale, not classy enough to score on a Woo scale. 2/5

Rendition

Drama focussing on the misuse of the extraordinary rendition law brought in under Clinton which apparently allows the US government to send terror suspects abroad for questioning (the harsh kind) without the annoyance of having to have lawyers present etc.

Well made film with good performances all round, especially Reese Witherspoon.

The story itself wasn't gripping enough for me and some of the characterisation (particularly Jake Gyllenhal's part) left a little to be desired.

Leaving aside the ethics, what I really came out thinking was 'I hope that the US anti-terrorist efforts aren't this stupid'. If the film is to be believed, then the approach appears to be kidnap random innocent American citizens, ship them to Egypt and torture them, meanwhile letting the actual terrorists buzz around Middle Eastern streets on mopeds in an Eddie Izzard 'chiao' type way.

Worth a watch, but not necessarily at the cinema.

Time better spent at the cinema would be to go and see...

Ratatouille

I'll keep this one short. I loved this. Even the presence of the worlds most annoying woman in the cinema laughing her head off at inappropriate moments, repeating lines that she found funny and asking moronic questions (e.g at the point where the rat starts to control the man's actions by pulling on different strands of hair: 'how is he doing that?'. I really struggled not to shout out 'IT'S A FECKING CARTOON! WHO GIVES A TOSS?') couldn't spoil it for me.
Good story, great voice casting, humourous, touching, with stunning visuals. I saw the trailer for the Bee Movie before the film and the contrast in quality of artwork is astounding. Dreamworks need to send themselves to bed without any supper.

American Gangster

Absolute quality. In my view better than last year's 'The Departed'. This feels more real and as a crime epic it's up there with Goodfellas, Heat and all the rest of the best.

See it.

SuperBad

Despite the name this film isn't super bad. Think American Pie with less squirming embarrasment, and more crass jokes. A lot more. And a kid called McLovin.

Anyway, it made me laugh even when I was also thinking, "no that's just stupid or silly or pointless, etc". Therefore it fulfilled the only expectation I had for it.

Also George Micheal Bleuth (I don't know what his real name is) and that guy from Knocked Up were both very funny.

Conclusion:
3/5 - Not bad, but nothing spectacular.
I'd pay the price of a cinema ticket to see it (if I hadn't already seen it...) and I was in the mood for <span style='text-decoration:line-through;'>dumb comedy</span> not thinking at all.

On a Superbad related note, I saw Knocked Up when it was out and to my considerable suprise found it hilariously funny. I will be watching Superbad in order to find out if I have the same reaction.

I watched Superbad a couple of days ago.

I had high expectations.

It met them.

I had a similar experience, which prompted the watching of Superbad, although I do seem to remember pete telling me to do so at some point...

Ignoring all talk of films I quite possibly won't find funny (but will watch at some point just in case):

Ghostrider

Now this was funny...don't think it was supposed to be. 2/5


Stardust

I really liked this all the way through until the end, when the screenwriters suddenly veered well away from the source material (the novel of the same name is by Neil Gaiman and is well worth a read...depite the lack of pixie rape I'm afraid Dan) and wrote in a Star Wars 'clapping' ending losing it a half star...ah well. At least Clare Danes is in it. 3.5/5

Edit: That didn't come out as particularly complimentary; it's good; go see it; just expect to feel vaguely let down by the ending.

300

Excellent adaptation of Frank Miller's comic in much the same manner as Sin City but with less guns, more blood and the odd bared chest. 4/5

Carry on.

On a different note, oh my god and cross between one of my favourite books and one of my favourite cartoons. genius.

Have any of them been released yet? Any good?

Flushed Away

I wasn't really expecting all that much from this one but was very pleasantly surprised to find that it was entertaining and properly funny; the move from plasticine has done nothing to dampen thee Aardman sense of humour. Animating the tale has enabled them to put an incredible amount of detail into the environments, something they have put to good use with numerous blink-and-you'll-miss jokes (e.g. a sign on an in-sewer vegetable stall selling 'barely used' sweetcorn). The voice cast is uniformly excellent (except perhaps Shane Richie...but he's not in it long) and, while it starts slow, the story rattles along once Roddy (Hugh Jackman) gets to the sewers and any hint of slow down is covered by comedy, scene-stealing slugs ("High five!...Oh...right.").

I so want to relate some of the best jokes (mainly involving French frogs) but it'd ruin the fun...watch it! 4/5

The Jane Austen Book Club

Lightweight fluff. Passes the time.

Extra merit for having the very talented (and very lovely) Emily Blunt in it.

Jersey Girl

If you're looking for a Jack an Sarah type rom-com starring Ben Affleck , Liv Tyler and a cute 7 year old girl then you won't be disappointed; as a fluffy, heart warming tale your mum'd like it's pretty good. Unfortunately, as it was directed by Kevin Smith, you'll probably be expecting some Askew-comedy; something that's sorely lacking (apart from a conversation about masturbation that, while funny, belongs in another film).

It's probably not worth catching on TV but the DVD gets an extra half-mark as it includes 'Roadside Attractions with Kevin Smith' as shown on the Tonight Show - worth watching. 2/5

Beowulf 3D

Incredible CG, some ropey performances, occasional intentionally funny bits, less occasional unintentionally funny bits, boobs, gore, etc.

Two points:

1. How this ever got a 12A rating I'll never know.

2. As per Joe Cornish: The 3D is 'bum-blowing'.

Die Hard 4.0

John's back and this time he's saving America from cyber-criminals and hot Asian chicks with the help of Justin Long and his indecently attractive daughter (Mary Elizabeth Winstead).

Well, by now they have the McLaine savin', wise-crackin', yippie- kai-ay-ing down pat - even if he's now more like the Terminator than an NYPD Cop. The addition of Long's reluctant hacker works just as well as Sam Jackson's turn in the last one ,and all the baddies are sufficiently eeevil (Maggie Q is clearly awesome whatever) to make this an enjoyable four star Bay-fest of a film.

Except...

The final section is a bit too unbelievable...OK so the rest isn't exactly down and dingy real-life but suspension of disbelief is easily achieved. When Bruce takes on a VTOL jet and limps off with a few more cuts to find his quarry have travelled about 100m while he was occupied...well; it reminded me that it was just a film.

Still, the rest was a rip roaring ride that's at least as good as 3 and so must be better than 2. 3.5/5

The Golden Compass

Pretty good really. Dakota Thingybob is very good as Lyra, as is Nicole Kidman as Mrs Coulter. Daniel Craig has a mere cameo and therefore has no chance to shine really.

The pace is a little bit quick. Sometimes the characters seem to spend no time at all in a location before they have moved on to the next.

Also, they miss a massively significant chunk from the end of the book, which I found disappointing.

Worth a look though.

yeah in fact i think that was a mistake - and i think it ruined the whole film!! I think it would have been better if they had made it darker...

We Own the night.

pretty damn good I thought.

one word actor reviews:

Eva Mendes = 'mmmm'

whackin phoenix - 'excellent'

mark wahlberg = a bit 'redundant'

more details to follow

okay, so here it is:

the story is about a family of two brothers and their father in new york in the early 80s. The father and one of the brothers are cops (Bob Duval and Mark Wahlberg) with the other brother managing a club for an old russian geezer (whackin phoenix). The brother who runs the club is also a bit of a tearaway with a lovely girlfriend (mendes mmmm) and some dubious criminal friends.

New York in the 80's is in the middle of a drug war and all the family are involved but on opposite sides.

There's no real surprises once you get into the main plot, a bit of a prodigal son scenario, but it was really done well, with a good pace throughout. There is some standard chin stroking acting from Duvall as he tries to manage his two sons, and Mendes as the faithful latino girlfriend is a nice distraction, and wahlberg does a 'phil neville' type job. The best bit about the film is Whackin phoenix, who is good in the main role, which is handy because the whole film really centres around him.

not essential to see in the cinema, and will also be enjoyable on DVD/Video/charcoal drawing/illegal download rip thing etc.

thats it!

Contenders for most confusing film ever:

Donnie Darko
Mulholland Drive
Any of the Infernal Affairs Trilogy (The Departed is a walk in the park)
12 Monkeys
Matrix Revolutions (just the bit with the Architect)

Any more for any more?

(PS This is on the back of watching the Infernal Affairs trilogy and googling confusing films)