Wow, Gov that is so harsh I feel like defending a film I haven't seen...surely it's worth it just to see the Hot Fuzz trailer?

Hot Fuzz trailer? What's that?

The only reason I would want you to watch this film is to look out for absolute classics in the script as I have mentioned afore! And for you to feel the pain I felt whilst watching it.

I also had the pleasure of watching Nacho Libre yesterday.

We all know the plot so to the chase...

This film is funny. Not as funny as you'd think and not as retarded as you'd think either, but it most certainly has its moments and is actually a good departure from Black's recent offerings. His accent is genius and coupled with Jared Hess' Napoleon Dynamite filming style, this movie is actually more watchable than reviews in Glamour, GQ and rottentomato.com will have you believe. I recommend watching it in a group. Memorable moments:

The eagle power acquisition scene and the eagle power utility scene.
All the fart jokes.
Scary midget wrestling scene.

All in all - 3.5/5

Thanks to a Chinese woman with many DVDs and a promise of long time pleasure, I have had the pleasure of acquiring on DVD Pirates of the Caribbean 2 and Click and V for Vendetta. I watched Click.

Again, a film worth watching in a group, Click actually has the awesome cool factor of looking in depth into a toy we would all have wished for if we were still 10. The film actually carries quite a dark and serious message toward the end and you start wondering when Adam Sandler grew up. Basically this film is better than most of Sandler's quickie offerings so if you are bored on a Sunday, this aint a bad film to watch. It has a lot of laugh out loud moments.

David Hasselhoff's turn is absolutely brilliant and worth catching. Kate Beckinsale is forever in boxers, Pochahontas outfits or generally looking quite edible so a no brainer reason there. All in all a 3/5

Get in the Hot Fuzz!

Nice...

...but still not worth going to watch Miami Shite.

V for Vendetta

Now after I read Jonnyboy's critique on this one, I almost gave it a miss. Almost. Watched it last night and most certainly have to say that Jonnyboy's appraisal is far from fair, overtly harsh and actually quite dismissive of what is actually a very good revenge film with some great emotive acting.

First off, its shot brilliantly. For the plot and what the story is trying to convey (a message I think you missed) the special effects are apt and the shooting just right. I think in getting carried away with the Wachowski tag, you might have been expecting some kickass and mindnumbing special effects. Why? The storyline isn't necessarily about amazing action and wobbling buildings. Its the central message that's important and with the way they did it, it was perfectly apt.

You said the movie lacked any moral themes. How totally did you miss the point?! The film shows an England that's got carried away with telling us on our baked beans tins how many pieces of fruit we should eat and that its better to take the stairs than succumb to the evils of lifts and escalators (but will sell arms to anyone with the right monetary credentials, allow masses of environmental transgressions to support industry, support a redneck turd with petrodollars up the wazoo regardless of his IQ, allow all sorts of human rights abuses and political murders when it suits them, think about telling us that cigarettes and alcohol are bad for us only when it costs them more in healthcare pennies and then scaremonger us into handing over our softdrinks and babymilk at the drop of a hat). The message its sending is that we put far too much power into the hands of government, allow ourselves to be waylaid by biased media and are forgetting what it is to question, take political action and think twice when our action is dictated by the government in climates of fear. Its an extreme view but let me ask you, for all the marching and fussing we did about Iraq, did Blair get kicked out of Downing Street or get forced to stand down as Prime Minister for his indiscretions on Iraq? I think not. It makes you think about how much power you really wield as an individual in a 'democracy'.

How's that for an opening?

The parallels to Adolf are brilliant and the beginning of the film with the whole Guy Fawkes figure is what the film's about - revolution and awakening to the highly didactic role of government. It takes an extreme stance to demonstrate a very contemporary situation - look at all the scare mongering going on all over the developed world. Look at all the messages of how people's civil liberties are being curbed 'for our own good'. And how many of us actually question them with good effect?

Yes Hugo Weaving does go a bit off the rails in his opening lines, but to say he's like the Architect throughout the film is not only completely unfair, its just not true. He makes perfect sense about the central theme of the film which is that he believes that the portrayed England has forgotten to stand up to its government and so it needs acts of vigilantism and pushing the people's imagination to get them to come together and stand together in toppling their own power mad government. The whole Guy Fawkes metaphor is only empowered by acts of blowing things up, so that too is justified in the context of an Orwellian society.

And as for killing the doctor who fucked him over - mate, no matter how sorry someone was for making you a living pepperami, I dont think a 'sorry' would really cut it when you'd spent numerous years of your life looking like a living pepperami. Furthermore, if you're creating a virus that's going to fuck over a lot of people, you ought to have the common sense to know that someone, somewhere is going to want to wish that you're skinned alive and intermittently splashed with lemon and chilli sauce. That's the point - he takes revenge for what she did to him, what she did to all the other people that died from her creation and for the fact that she too was as bad as the rest of the governments 'fingermen' for not questioning what a lethal virus would do to many many unsuspecting people. In the scene, he actually accepts her apology and kills her with a painless injection. Evil Doctor Woman-0, V-2

Here's your other ridiculous statement - 'There's no point to Stephen Fry's role.' Riiiiight - what about the fact that in the film he's one of England's biggest talk show hosts whose gay, but has to hide the fact, fears the government and like the rest follows his directives like a flock-following sheep, who then makes an open mockery of the Chancellor on prime time television because he is motivated to action by V's public demonstrations. Central themes intact - sheep gone political thanks to V's explosions and public announcements. Furthermore, he is a vehicle toward Evey's flashback to her mother being blackbagged and the catalyst toward a situation where V helps her toward her awakening and final action against the government.

Yes Portman's accent is shit. Yes people seem to enjoy their freedoms anyway, but the feel of the film is brilliant, the message quite thought provoking and the revenge served wonderfully cold. The Phantom of the Opera meets Bruce Wayne parallels are actually quite wonderful and Portman puts in some emotion that will leave you a little shaken if not stirred.

So for all that, I say go and watch V, but with a pinch of salt. Its a comic book gone to celluloid and is actually quite brilliant if you allow yourself to get swallowed up in the context of the film. Don't expect Wachowski or the Architect. It just ain't true. 3.75/5

Wow.

Well, I guess I ought to reply, though I really don't have the time to go into the detail that Gov's argument deserves.

I'll stick with my initial beliefs which were that this film is dull and has a muddled moral stance.

Firstly, it's dullness. I suppose the easiest way to express how much this film bored me is how little of it I actually remember a few months on. When I chatted to Govi* on MSN about it yesterday, it needed him to remind me that the Houses of Parliament get blown up in it and I'd forgotten that Stephen Fry was in it until I re-read my review. I only really remember the things that annoyed me about it, which brings me nicely onto the (lack of) moral core of the film.

I'd like to say that I have nothing in particular against films without strong moral messages. However, films which are obviously desperate to be addressing moral issues but manage to get it so very wrong get on my tits. Govi, you say that this is a good revenge film; I disagree. Good revenge films do not make an assumption that exacting revenge is noble, something that this film does. Revenge is not noble. It may not be straightforwardly wrong either, but it's certainly a way more complex subject than V For Vendetta is capable of handling. If you want to see a good revenge film stick to Oldboy, or even Kill Bill. The idea that I am supposed to cheer for this twat who doesn't think twice about killing policemen (who are quite reasonably trying to prevent him blowing up buildings) in order to save his own skin really doesn't impress me. Don't even get me started on the (de)merits of the anarchist philosophy that V peddles.

Last thing I want to quickly say is about the look of the film. No, I wasn't expecting kung fu and crazy special effects, but I was expecting some kind of style. I have actually since looked at the comic and to be fair, there is little that the film-makers could have done with their source material short of a full-blown Sin City style recreation of the blacks, whites and reds. However, this should have given them the freedom to go crazy with it and create a truly individual look to the film. Didn't happen unfortunately.

Sorry, actually there was one more thing. The whole Guy Fawkes outfit is silly. Guy Fawkes was a failure whose effigy we now burn once a year to commemorate that failure. The idea of his image being used effectively as a symbol of revolution is laughable.

Look I have to stop, I'm a busy man and this film has already taken up way more of my time than it deserves.

okay back from the dead - not posted nor read for a while but went to see a movie today all should watch (if you have not already i forget if canada is ahead or not if so see IDLEWILD by the genius boys form outkast - if you guys are ahead

how good is that!?!

look - superb
music - superb
etc etc

see see see

ps something i found for all you firefly liker s go look at its wikipedia entry and link to the serenity made of lego - some people - lots of time!!

That's right baby.

Okay, I accept your comments and they are subjective, but I must say that for someone slightly detached from the Guy Fawkes thing and a sucker for comic books, I quite liked the use of the mask and cape and all that. Yes he does come across as a bit of a twat in bits but as the film goes on, I find him to be more engaging as a character. I didn't cheer for him either, but enjoyed the symbolism he brought to the film. The film isn't just about revenge, its also about revolution so yes, its not the best film to bring that intensity across, but remember, its a comic book.

Yes Guy Fawkes failed and isn't entirely the best symbol of a revolution, but he's a historical figure nonetheless and his motive was revolution; in the world of fiction, a little mythology and a little cloak and dagger go a long way for the self-righteous revenge-seeker hero figure. He's used as a symbol for V's vendetta - a new age Guy Fawkes. If they were borrowing as heavily as you suggest from the Guy Fawkes character, they would have just called the story, Guy Fawkes - The Resurrection, Guy Fawkes Reborn or Guy Fawkes - Back in Black with a Bang but they didn't, and that's for a reason.

I found the film to be quite engaging, especially because you want to learn V's story and aren't entirely sure whether you side with him to begin with or not. Furthermore I think it flows and that in a lot of parts, Weaving creates an aura about himself which is endearing. After the kind of line-delivery I've recently encountered on the BBC's radio dramas ('The internet wants a chat' more pointedly) and one of the Fringe's more popular exports, 'Immaculate' I found Weaving's delivery (and you might see that I consider this to be a particularly personal sticky point), to be above par for the script at hand.

And as for killing cops - he killed filthy, lecherous and rape-intending scumbags guised as policemen whose likes had no qualms in shooting a little girl through the chest for wearing a mask and graffitting a wall. Surely you don't intend us to believe that you're as right-wing as all that mate?!

Anyhoo - I quite enjoyed that little banter. You'll either love or hate the film as www.rottentomatoes.com will have you know so dont stop yourself from checking it out. If you don't like Hugo Weaving, you won't like the film - simple as that. And if you watch it without any expectations (as I did) you might be surprised at the outcome.

End grr.

Well fellas I'd comment on how one or both of you are stupid but I haven't seen it yet...but I will. I guess that makes Gov the winner.

PS I am so going to see this film: Crank

Eh? How does that work? I'd say it just makes you and Gov the losers.


Yes indeed. I love everything about the trailer, particularly the fact that his name is Chev Chelios (Chav Chavios anyone?). Looking forward to it - I thought Transporter was ace and Transporter 2 even ace-er.

Well that's as may be but I won't be able to say until I've seen it and as Gov clearly wants everyone to watch it and you clearly want to burn all existing copies as they have offended the Gods (the latter may not be quite that clear), that makes him the winner. See? Perfectly clear.

I still haven't seen Transporter 2 but I giggled like a girl throughout most of the first one; wonderful.

Guys guys please...If I've managed to convince King to watch the film to make up his own mind, all I have to say is, my job here is done. I still maintain its not as bad as you make it out to be. But with all this hype, we have now done the unthinkable; and that is to hype up a film before someone watches it.

King - pinch of salt, pinch of salt.

Jonnyboy - Ner!

I am amazed at your ability to watch this cretin do an American accent. If he'd kept his British accent, just think how much more respect we'd have for the character. Still, the action in the first one was fresh and imaginitive for Hollywood. After a cheesy trailer for the sequel, I think I might just watch it too.

Saw In Her Shoes yesterday and have to say I thought it was brilliant. Really really well done. Pefect girly movie with enough roMANtic sentiment to keep any males in the audience respectable. 4/5

sorry, i have to disagree with you there...

transporter and transporter 2 are possibly the worst films ever made....

i appreciate explosions and action like anyone else, but in any 5 minute segment of the films, there are car chases, explosions, gun fights and sex scenes.... given the acting bares a striking resemblance to melamine faced chipboard (i.e. wooden, which goes soggy when dumped in it), i simply had to throw the nearest thing i could find at the tv to get the pain to stop.

the closest thing to hand at the time, was emily... a night in the dog house yes, but at least i didnt have to watch any more of that horrible horrible film.

No no ...both those titles have been awarded to Miami Vice.

You have to admit - the scene with the bicycle pedals in the oil slick was fucking genius. Ill give you the rest.

ROTFLMFAO

Ooh a nice bit of forum-speak for you (it means you funny).

I don't get you Warren my friend; you don't seem to like any of the films I do. Yes, the acting was a bit wobbly but as they were only asked to act for 5 minutes in the film that weren't a problem. If you like car chases, explosions, gun fights and sex scenes what's wrong with having a high scene:explosion etc. ratio? It's all so fun and so stupid. Like bouncing on your parents' bed wielding a lit chainsaw.

Anyway, I know I ain't gonna change your mind so I'll leave it. Except to ask what films do you like?

Gov: The slick was excellent and he can't have the rest; he can have the bit where she persuades him to help her and that's it. The rest were great!

PS Putting on my pedant's hat; there was only on sex scene.

i know where you're coming from kingol, and i certainly dont want to start a fanboy row about crap films...

i guess what annoyed me was the rediculousness of the exlosions/guns yadda yadda...

its like they were there for the sake of it, not for any other reason than to prove the simple formula....

guns/bangs/death/sex = large satisfied male audience = lots of money

while this maybe true, it just seemed to be OTT

that was my gripe.


not to mention all the things i've mentioned previosly.

mentioned...

I understand where Ween is coming from. The Transporter films are obviously complete rubbish. It's just that they are rubbish in a really really funny and entertaining way. Plus I love Jackie Chan films and the action reminds of those a lot. Statham's American accent just adds to the general hilarity - it's a shame he hasn't kept it for Crank.

Since Ween has started nominations for worst film ever made, here's a suggestion:

XXX

Hopefully no fanboy rows will ensue as I'm pretty sure that there are loads of films out there which we all agree are shite.

We should also do most over-rated films of all time. I'll have to think about it though, there are so many to choose from. Also, this topic is much more likely to cause fanboy rows, but I'm sure we'll all remain friends.

speak for yourself..... you fecking knob head

Worst film ever made...

Miami Vice - Hands.fucking.down.

Overrated films:

X-Men III
Anything Al Pacino has done after Devil's Avocate

Cant think of any others just yet.

Wild Wild West has to be the worst film I've payed to see...followed closely by Titanic.

I thought the general consensus on this was that it was okay, but a bit rubbish. Are you saying that it's much worse than that?

Another film that I was furious that I'd paid money to see was the re-make of The Italian Job. Pure cack.

Over-rated films:

Fight Club (not saying it isn't good - it just ain't the work of genius everyone seems to think it is (imho))

Forrest Gump (I am saying this one isn't good. In fact it's shite)

In fact, every Tom Hanks film except Big and Dragnet.

Ooh I can't believe we haven't done a worst films bit until now.

For me the list is as follows

Dude where's my car (paid to see)
Tomb Raider (saw on telly)

Sure there are more but cant think of them now.

tomb raider definately bad bad movie.

Big was definately good movie!!

i just saw RV on the train down from montreal - robin williams has scrapped the bottom of the barrell.

do not watch - ever

Yes. Total crap. Plus, people still think it's funny to mispronounce my name. Yes, yes I get it--"Jennay" is a funny way to say "Jennie." It's also a stupid way to say Jennie--but what the hell.

Besides Forrest?
I'd have to add "Van Helsing" which actually crossed the line from "so bad, it's funny" to "just terrible" within the first ten minutes.

Yes Van Helsing was awful. I though Forrest as an OK watch. Not mind-blowing like what the acadamy seems to have thought but OK.

Tomb Raider 2 was worse than 1.

For the film that should be good and has its moments (which get fewer with every viewing) but now really is disappointing: Phantom Menace. I reckon I'd only watch the final lightsabre fight now, and only if you cut out the cuts to the rest of the malarky going on.

I have to say that I beat everyone at this game.

Went and saw maybe baby at the odeon in leicester square, due to a whiney girlfriend of one of the cinema going group.

I am one who likes value for money, but from about 1/2 an hour in, when I realised it was going to be that crap all the way through, I knew that I would cause myself pain if I stayed, but the fact that I would be wasting the £10 (yes £10!!), made me stay.

It was the most sadomasochistic thing I have done up to date.

For me the remake of the Avengers is probably my #1 worst film (paid to see it). I cannot understand how Sean Connery allowed himself to be in it.

2nd place must go to Existanz which I thought was bollocks. My disappointement might have been amplified by the fact that I had confused it with the Matrix (which was obviously reported as the best movie ever in the history of ever) and thus persudaded my family to buy tickets for a movie that was shite.

I'm still barred from suggesting moving for them to see.

Dan

I shall attempt to take a few of these on one by one...

(Well how else would I do it...)

Forrest Gump - no way can you diss this film. For its time, absolute genius and a at that landmark in the cinema world. Dissing comments dismissed.

X-Men III - I agree with the consensus - I think it overrated for being the first film of 2006 to cross $200 mill at the box-office (and the 67th in history) and for grossing more than the other 2 at $441 mil. Intrestingly, though obvious, for the pile of shit that Revenge of the Sith was compared to this, it made more in its opening weekend.

Loz - Maybe Baby - OMFG - you didn't actually. You brave man.

Fight Club (1999) was pure genius for its concept and fighting sheeyat - the ending was a little hackneyed and unfortunately coincided with a couple of other films at the time with super 'twists' (6th Sense and something else) so agree with you on that score.

And to add to the fray - if you're ever stoned and think that watching a shit 90s black horror film called Leprechaun 3 on cable is a good idea, decide to gouge your eyeballs out with a procupine instead as its better on the eyes.

Oh oh - and Halloween H20 was WANK! I loved the Halloween franchise and then they did this.

Meet the Fockers - pure turd

A New World - long, boring, arty and Colin Farrel needs to learn to act sometime. Pochahontas chick is enchanting.

I have a wholesome distate for Mission Impossible II - Tom Cruise moving in eternal slow motion - euch....

Crank

Jason Statham is Chev Chelios; a hitman poisoned with a synthetic drug that cuts off adrenaline. He's already dead, but if he keeps the blood pumping he may have enough time to get his revenge...and shag his bird in public.
Every bit as silly, fun, and funny as you might expect just from seeing the trailer, this is a must-see for anyone who giggled with joy throughout The Transporter. There are less explosions and no high-kicking fights, just a rampage through LA that'll leave you with a huge grin. Unless you're looking for, you know, plausiblity, plot or acting...but who needs that anyway? Perfect for a Saturday night with your mates.
4/5
(It's a six star two-star film)

Speaking of shite films - isn't it about time we came up with a thread for the shitest and coolest subtitles for films.

Im referring to the whole gamut of ...

'Will make The Matrix look like the audio cassette of sci-fi movies' sort of shit.

There's tons of them out there. Report back on any that catch your eye.

It's not a tagline, but one of those quotes from reviews that you see on posters. It was on the Transporter poster and it said 'The film Xxx wishes it was'. I forget what paper it was from but I thought it summed it up nicely.

That drug from the film 'Crank' should be given to Emile Heskey, he would become a ten times better player, or he would suffer an unfortunate end.

Although could be seen as a bit harsh.

I liked Kermode's summing up of 'Crank' as a remake of Speed with Jason Statham playing the part of the bus.

Hmm he nabbed that from the Empire review. Or not. But they both had the same Idea:

"Of course, it’s essentially Speed with a bald Brit instead of a bus."

LITTLE MISS SUNSHINE

The plot:

A dysfunctional family (massive understatement) make a journey across America to see their daughter compete in a talent/beauty contest. The father is a struggling motivational trainer who only likes WINNERS. The mother has to be everywhere at once and keep her head. Her brother is a scholar recovering from a suicide attempt. The grandfather is on drugs. The daughter is in a world of her own but adorable. The son has taken a vow of silence and wants to be a pilot. Stir up and leave to simmer. When they are all forced to go on the trip, they have to go through a number of adventures to find out more about themselves and each other (ok that sounds really cheesy but its most definitely not a cheesy film)

The verdict:

This film is ace. I had heard a lot of good reviews but tried to ignore the hype. Its a bit slow to get started but once they are on the road the humour builds and builds. There is one 5 minute episode in particular (involving a faulty car horn and a policeman) which actually had me crying uncontrollably with laughter. Last time that happened in the cinema was Team America if memory serves.

Its not the best film ever, its not the best comedy ever, but whatever you do, do go and see it, do enjoy it, and enjoy the great performances, particularly from Alan Arkin and Steve Carrell.

Fab

8.6/10 (I really, really wanted to give this 9 but I'm too chicken)

40-year Old Virgin

You must forgive my revisiting old titles, but its my wont as is the same with music, books et al. I usually visit such things when the hype has died down.

A sweeter film than I imagined it to be and refreshingly a different, more intelligent style than the profligate and current offerings of the Wilson, Farrel and Vaughn crew. Dont know whether this preceded The Office but you can see why this guy was an obvious choice for the American David Brent and gets on so well with Ricky Gervais. The characters are genius and the girls wonderfully inebriated, bubblegum and horny/deviant. Fun fun fun. 3.5/5

Sam, you're going to some very impressive arty-type, out of the way films; I'm very impressed. I shall (as always) have to look out for it on DVD.

Yes blame it all on my good friend Nils who knows a thing or two about films and gets the nice preview tickets. He ONLY does arty out of the way bollocks. Respec

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang

Genius. Val Kilmer is briliant. The gratuitous flouting of flesh is brilliant. The way this film has been done is brilliant. Nice - 4.25/5

Over-rated film: Jerry Maguire. Tom Cruise being irritating, Cuba Gooding Jr being irritating, me getting irritated.

Contender for worst film ever: Pay It Forward. Kevin Spacey being smug, Helen Hunt being irritating, that kid from Sixth Sense being more irritating than anyone else in the history of the world, me wanting to throw up. Worst waste of 2 hours you could possibly imagine.

jesus, dont let em see that... she'll go mental

i have equal distaste for "lost in translation"

and i know for certain that you'll hate me for saying that

Look, I know it's not your kind of film cos 'not much happens' and all that, and I understand that it's a matter of taste. But surely you can't think it's one of the worst films ever made? That's got to be an exaggeration surely? Even if you found it dull, I can't believe that you despise it that much. However, I could believe that you think it's one of the most over-rated films of all time.

If I'm wrong, and you really do hate it - I'd be interested to know why because when we've chatted about it before I got the impression you just thought it was a bit boring.

BTW, for any Scarlett Johannson fans out there, The Black Dahlia is coming out soon. Check out the trailer on Apple Trailers or something - also makes great use of Dirge by Dirty Vegas. I can't be bothered to link to it, so you'll have to find it yourselves.

Hey don't give up so easily, the ads say 'cinemas nationwide'. Go to it!

On the film taglines subject, The Four Word Film Review, has reviews of films in four words or less (duh) submitted by Joe Public. Lots are cack, but check out the top 100 page. My favourite is for Saving Private Ryan: 'Brother gets own bedroom'.

Also try Stickscene to test your ability to recognise films from random stick drawings.

It's not that; it's that there are no cinemas to which I can pop and no-one to pop with...

I have to say that Scarlett looked incredible on the red carpet at Venice Film Festival.

"Scarlett looked incredible on the red carpet at Venice Film Festival."

There done.

Lost in Translation - overrated

I think I have to agree that Lost in Translation was highly overrated. Although I thought the acting superb and the concept fresh, it was essentially a new take on a very very old formula - love story via gradual exposur to each other and their kooky traits.....that then doesn't quite happen. I was left with a bit of a feeling of - well feck - I sat through all that and they dont even get it on? FECK!

You get the drift.

i guess i should probably clear up my statement on lost in translation.

i think its more because it was so overated and i never really liked it that much, and the more i heard jonnyboy go on about it, i ended up wanting to argue back at him... and i think that in turn made me learn to hate it...

in spite of all that, if i saw it again today, i'd probably get something out of it.

I give you that one. I do drone on about it quite a lot. I'll try to keep my public worship of it to a minimum in future.