correct, lotr is a waste of 14 hours or what ever it is, i couldnt be less interested.

go watch school of rock

ooh ooh oooooooh

Sammyboy - yes.
King - yes.
Ween - no. I demand that you watch Fellowship of the Ring otherwise I will be forced to never ever ever watch Empire Records just to spite you (yes, I still haven't seen it). I won't make you watch the extended cut, just the three hour theatrical version.

You know, I don't think this 'discussion' is going to end happily...I reckon we may just have to ignore Ween's taste in film until he sees the truth and joins us for 12 hrs of cinematic joy....either that or we'll have to accept that some people actually like Biodome where the sane among us (that's me) think it's a huge pile of steaming aardvark turd.

Sammyboy i actually thought your avatar WAS Woz.

shit off you rubbish bastards...

lord of the ring job is crap... i dont care if you dont watch empire...

the only reason to watch LiT is for mr murry, so i might aswell watch groudhog day instead.

Vaguely related to this argument, but only vaguely.

At what point did filmstars and famous people in general become younger than all of us? A couple of weeks ago, I read something in the paper concerning who was going to be the biggest star, Scarlet Johansson or Keira Knightley (Scarlet, blatantly, but we won't get into all that again). The point is that one of them is 18 and the other 19 (I can't remember which way round it was).
When we were kids at school, we were young enough to think that, yeah, when I grow up, I could be famous, no problem. We've missed our chance without even noticing it! We're already old codgers in comparison to these nubile young lassies! Where was the transition point? When did we stop being promising young future world-beaters and become the tired old bastards that we already are? It isn't fair! I demand a recount!

Rant over.

Mmmm... Scarlett Johansson and Keira Knightley. One is 18, the other 19.
Let us just contemplate this fact for a minute...


...



Sorry I can't remember what the problem was now.

And the most well-constructed insult of the century award goes to...

Oh for god's sakes!

You lord of the rings monkeys are clearly impressed and entertained by those films! I can appreciate that. Nevertheless, I will restrain myself from taunting you for this. I feel I should to come to the rescue of my beloved whom you have driven to abuse because of your unfounded bullying.
Lost in translation was something you just have to be in 'that' kind of mood to watch, I suppose we were not.... Bill Murray was fantastic, even that Scarlet woman was good, very natural, But I think the plot?! was too much like a short arty film made 1 1/2 hours too long!

So bite me!

note LiT was a long arty film thusly it was good not just people shouting at each other blowing each other up and shagging.

note LotR : FotR : TTT : RotK clearly the best things ever and who, who understands this, did not come out of the last going thinking what am i to do with my life now - what is left to look forward to ('cept the extended version and then watching them all at once of course!)

HOWEVER we should not mock or deride those who do not understand but pity and poss set up some kind of self help group for those whose brain does not included the correct recetors (or ringons, as they are scientifically know) to allow them to enjoy these films. we should in our caring society never abuse the afflicated but try to undertsand and pity (and poss mock a little)

Here endeth the second lesson

So (he says, desparately changing the subject 'cos he's bored of all the shouting) another Hithchiker's Guide casting update:

Sam Rockwell as Zaphod Beeblebrox. Sam Rockwell was the cannon fodder guy in Galaxy Quest, played Chuck Barris in Confessions of a Dangerous Mind and was in Welcome to Collinwood. He's a good slightly off-the-wall actor. Not 100% confirmed but solid rumour on comingsoon.net. Good news again I feel...perhaps they WILL be able to pull it off with Mos Def as Ford.

go play with some traffic

Actually Ween, you're right - Lord of the Rings is shit. Kat's wrong.
And Lost in Translation, what a pile of shit.

"the only reason to watch LiT is for mr murry, so i might aswell watch groudhog day instead. "

so er....if i have one good film i should just feck off all the other good films because I might as well watch my one good film?

Watched Intacto yesterday so I thought I'd try a proper review thingy:

Intacto is a Portugese film about people who can steal other's luck by touching them, they then gamble with each other by doing silly things like runing through a forest blindfolded (though it makes a cool scene I must say).

We mainly follow a bank robber, Tomas, the only survivor of a plane crash, as he is broken out of police custody and introduced to The Game by Federico, a man robbed of his Gift some years before. The object for him being, to get back at the guy that nicked it...sort of. We also follow the policewoman after Tomas who, conincidentally, also has the gift...though, as it makes those around her unlucky, she'd rather not have it.

It's good; low-budget but engaging, no big set pieces really, but there is real tension in the betting scenes, whether they are throwing dice or running across the motorway (all blindfolded naturally). The presence of the policewoman also acts as an added spur, pushing the plot along nicely as all roads lead to the one big game against 'The Jew'; the luckiest guy out there, a man who can take away The Gift forever (the game happens to be Reverse Russian Roulette; 5 bullets and you aim at the other person).

Anyway I enjoyed it and I'd give it 4/5.

Was that any good?

Well, with all the divided opinion on LiT--I thought I should add that I just saw Girl with a Pearl Earring and thought it worth the time (to watch..although I wouldn't necessarily pay to see it). It's a fairly slow movie (the book it is based on is pretty languid as well), but the cinematography is amazing. Nearly every shot looked like a Vermeer painting. My only complaint about that is occasionally it would feel as if they were continually pausing--so it got a little jerky.

Scarlet Johasson does a marvelous job of looking enraptured with paintings while having almost no lines. Colin Firth looks like a twit with long hair.

I here School of Rock is coming out soon. That, I highly recommend.

Shhhhh; I'm trying to get them to shut up about a certain film that I won't name for fear of reprisals...

Good news and bad news concerning Star Wars:

The DVD of the OT has a release date of 21st September 2004 (hurrah).

It is not certain exactly which edition of the film is to be released; the original print, the spec. ed, or ,rather worryingly, a new ed that has new bits added to tie in with the prequals. (Greedo firing first? I certainly hope not.)

I'm actually slightly worried that this'll turn into that episode of South Park where GL and SS change Raiders, and if we watch this DVD our faces will melt...I'm not that concerned obviously, but I will be testing it out on some random tosspot before I risk it. One Love.

on a lighter note i saw school of rock which i enjoyed but jack black in shorts is scary.

also on a south park note in the new series is it not the best canada song ever thus achieving a feat i did not think poss after the movie!!

Hurrah; the Interweb at work is working properly again...have you missed me?

Anyway, School of Rock was watched yesterday...by me and so here follows my second reviewy thing as no-one told me that my first was rubbish. I suspect that as people have actually seen this one, it may get more response.

SoR (as I'll call it 'cos I'm lazy) is about a rock-mad guitarist, called Dewy Finn (Jack Black), who is thrown out of his band and is forced to pretend to be his flat-mate so he can get a teaching job at a prestigious school. When 'Mr Shneebley' finds out that most of his class are accomplished musicians he decides to initiate them into the joys of ROCK and sticking it to The Man, so he can form a new band...but you all know that right?

The film is without doubt all Jack's; if you don't like Jack Black there's no point in watching the film as he is in EVERY scene. It's all very entertaining, the kids are good (and amazing musicians), the music (an integral part) is exellent (though 'School of Rock' pales in comparison to the classics on the soundtrack, though I do like 'Step Off') and Jack prances around as is his wont.

It is a cross between Dead Poets and Sister Act, with all the cliches includedand added ROCK, but the film makes the best of them...I particularly liked the talking to the parents bit that turned into a paedo gag...nice. I also like the credits...possibly my favorite over-credit sequence; Ferris Bueller was good but t stretched on a bit until the final gag ('Are you still here? Don't you have homes to go to?'), Rush Hour 2 was good, as were Toy Story 1&2...but that's beside the point.

Still, after that ramble, I think possibly I'll give it 3.5/5 'cos it wasn't a great film...don't get me wrong; it was good, I enjoyed it muchly, it just wasn't...I dunno filmic enough? I didn't quite take me to that happy place that Almost Famous did for instance...I still wanna give it 4 though...I tell you what; 3.5/5 as a base unit and add 0.5 if you like ROCK and/or Jack Black.

That was a bit muddled wern't it? No career change for me yet methinks.

I agree with all of what King says. School of Rock... er... rocks.

Also, you must all watch 'A Mighty Wind'. Complete genius from the makers of Spinal Tap. Even if we did have to download it cos it wasn't on in any cinemas. Also by the makers of Spinal Tap: 'Best in Show' (dog show spoof) also worth a look. And 'Waiting for Guffman' which i havent seen but must also be good as is same people.

Wha' Happened?

Cheers Sam.

Last night I watched Princess Mononoke (that's pronounced mono-no-kaye), which is a Japanese cartoon-film that was bought and distributed by Miramax. As a result of the big company they got in a some big stars to do the voices: Billy Crudup, Clare Danes, Gillian Anderson, Minnie Driver and Billy Bob Thronton. Not that that made any difference to me 'cos I watched it in Japanese (I reckon the acting's better when you don't have to shoehorn English into a Japanese-moving mouth if you catch my drift). It did make for interesting times when no-one was speaking yet there were subtitles anyway...I guess they just subtitled the English version. But it's not about that.

The film follows Prince Ashitika who is injured by a demon whilst defending his village. Unfortunately for him his injury is EVIL, and will gradually spread turning him into a demon, so he is banished and ventures out to find the land from which the demon came to see if he can find a cure etc. etc.
When he gets to the West he finds the forest under threat from nearby humans; they are are cutting it down to get to iron ore and the gods of the forest don't like this much, but the humans are just trying to get by, and it's all far too complicated for me to explain...I'm no good at this sort of thing...suffice it to say there is no real straight cut bad guy which makes for a great film but hard to explain. There is, of course, a comedy monk in it for the money, but I didn't have to tell you that right?

It's all beautifully animated and the story's great; if you're into Japanese fantasy stuff you should like it; it's not anime or anything, more a spiritual tale; frankly I reckon that if you like Final Fantasy games and stuff you'll probably enjoy this too. I'm just gonna give it 4/5 and shut up.

Though I do like the way his injury gives him the strength to knock a guy's head off with a single arrow...sorry I said I'll shut up didn't I?

I really must rent Spirited Away when it comes out.

Next up Igby Goes Down:

Rich American kid tries to avoid school and stuff. I can't be arsed to write a proper review really...which prob comes as a relief. Anyway good performances, Clare Danes looks nice, get to see Amanda Peet wearing nowt (again), darkly funny in places, some ascerbic wit, generally pretty good low budget indie effort (even if it does have famous people in it). I wouldn't bother buying it but it should be seen methinks.

3.5/5

Check out the new Shaun of the Dead poster:

A romantic comedy. With zombies.
April 9th, can't wait.

Trailer: Low Med in Quicktime.

Watched 'Ghost in the Shell' and 'Ninja Scroll' recently. Both Manga films; GinS is set in the future and influenced The Matrix, with super-human androids jacking into a network and stuff. NJ is set in the past with demons trying to upset Japan's government with only a wizened gov. spy, wandering lone-wolf and a female ninja (who's impervious to poison but is so full of the stuff she can't sleep with anyone without killing them) to stop them.

Lots of blood and some nakedness and weird Japanese stuff. They were both alright but nothing to get really excited about. I don't think Manga's really my thing; I prefer anime. Worth watching them to find this out though...if you've got 90 mins to kill, they both pass the time adequately.

'Ghost in the Shell' - 2.6/5
'Ninja Scroll' - 2.7/5

related only in that it is about a film but i was sitting in the dark watching star wars and 3 in the morning on a wed night - as you do and has anyone ever noticed that carrie fisher is very short - surprisingly so.

I did notice how short she is only the other day when I was standing next to her in a lift in the Empire State Building. The conversation went something like this:

Sammyboy: "You're Carrie Fisher aren't you?"
CF: "Yes"
Sammyboy: "You played Princess Leia in Star Wars didn't you?"
CF: "Yes"
Sammyboy: "Wow."
CF: "Who the hell are you?"
Sammyboy: "I'm Sammyboy, you may remember me from such classics as "Badgerfest I", "Badgerfest II", and "Dude, where's my extractor fan?"
CF: "Oh yeah, I love your work."
Sammyboy: "Cheers! Christ you're tall. What are you like 6'3", 6'4"?"
CF: "I'm actually 9 feet 7 and three quarters"
Sammyboy: "Blimey"

Actually, come to think of it, she's quite tall. Especially when standing on a ladder. On the moon. In the dark. In a hole. WITH AN OWL!!!

I was in a lift with someone once.

Was it John Hannah?

I guess I might as well do the honours for 21 Grams, which Sammyboy, Pete and I saw on Tuesday.

I'll start by quoting Sammyboy, who came up with an amazing piece of clairvoyance just before the film started:

'I think this might be a bit of a head-fuck'

Lo and behold, it well and truly fucked all three of us in the head.
I ought to warn you that this is not a film to see if you are feeling down or bad about life in general - it will send you over the edge. Also if you are feeling great about life and want to stay that way, avoid. The best frame of mind in which to see 21 Grams is one of complete indifference, then you might just survive.

The plot of 21 Grams is actually fairly conventional, and it is only the way in which it is handled that distinguishes it from the legions of T.V. movies with similar plots. The film revolves around a car accident, and it is this accident that eventually links the fates of all the characters. I can't go into details because it would spoil the film, but suffice to say that the accident completely screws up the lives of everyone involved.

21 Grams is a film about death; about the injustice of death and why some people are chosen to die and others not. For Sean Penn's, this comes across in the form of guilt - he feels guilty for still being alive because another has died. Del Toro also feels guilt, but his main feeling is one of anger towards God, whom he feels has betrayed him. Naomi Watt's character out-trumps both of these two, though, by feeling every single possible emotion in the space of one film. The core of her hopelessness is that she cannot work out how life can go on after the deaths caused by the accident.

As you may have noticed, I am not describing a very cheery film here; all the main characters spend the entire film in a state of complete emotional desperation.
This makes for harrowing viewing, but I think it is worth the effort if you feel up to it.

Overall, a good film with good performances, especially from the supporting actors, but only a masochist would buy it on DVD.

3.5/5

p.s. at the risk of undermining my rather serious review, if you are a fan of Naomi Watt's knees, then go see this film. She whips them out with monotonous regularity.

Nice review Jon; I wasn't really interested in seeing this slice of doom and gloom, and then you mentioned Naomi's Knees...

Watched Buffalo Soldiers yesterday.

The film follows a group of bored American soldiers in Germany around the time of the fall of the Berlin Wall. The main character is Ray Elwood (Joaquin Phoenix), a requistions clerk who isn't averse to making a quick buck on the sid by selling 500 gallons of Mop 'n Glow on the black market. He also happens to have a side-line in cooking up smack for the head MP sergeant to sell to the troops, and now millions of dollars worth of weapons just happen to fall into his hands, can he off-load them successfully? Into this set-up comes a new Top Sergeant, determined to route out Ray and his mates, and his daughter (Anna Paquin).

What can I say? I thought it was great; there are some darkly funny scenes, the main one involving three stoned soldiers in a tank and a German village, and it is never slow (it's only about 90minutes long). Joaquin does a lot to counter any depressing themes ('Uh Guys? I just though you might like to know: Parsons is dead.'), making it an enjoyable ride, and although the change of tone of the ending jars a little, it's not enough to knock it off its stride. 4/5

Sounds good.

Ooh look, I'm Count Vadgula

saw starsky and hutch on sunday, its fantastic

go see

I saw Touching the Void yesterday.

Quite spectacular and an incredible story. Also, surprisingly, it had one moment in it that had the whole cinema laughing, which i was not expecting. All in all definitley worth seeing if you like that sort of thing, and probably if you don't.

Also RE Buffalo Soldiers, I thought it was great, nice dark humour, especially the end. i would have had to give 8/10

I had a look at my copy of Star Wars Spec Ed. and you know what? That complete twat did make Greedo fire first! Han's head spontaneously jumps to the left by an inch to avoid the bolt and then he shoots him...I can't say just how annoying that is...Han's a scruffy-looking nerfherder who doesn't mind shooting someone to save his skin but George decided to change it so he only fires when fired upon...what next? Will Han make a fearless bid to save some defenceless kittens from a marauding speed? I wouldn't be surprised.

Watched Starsky and Hutch on Saturday and it was quite enjoyable. I didn't go expeting high art and wasn't disappointed; The story (such as it is) pitches Ben Stiller's Starsky, a by-the-book, trying to live up to his mother's name, but slightly inept cop, with Owen Wilson's, dodgy, blase and slightly inept cop, together. Thay start off not liking each other but grow to find a mutual admiration etc. etc. A floater in the bay leads to rumours of a massive cocaine shipment and Vince Vaughn's 'respectable' businessman.

But it's not about that.

There are some amusing set pieces (though the trailer gave away the biggest laugh the bastard) and the dance-off between Stiller and Har Mar Superstar is fantastic. Snoop Dog does a reasonable job (he's bloody skinny though...and that's me talking) and Carmen Elektra and Amy Studt prance around in tight tops then snog...what's not to like? The thing is I really can't remember anything significant about the film. Oh well. It's fine entertainment if you've got nowt better to do and will keep you interested.

I'll give it 3.5/5 I think.

Review of Apocalypse Now Redux

Basic Plot: Captain Willard (Martin Sheen) has to journey into the depths of wartime Vietnam/Cambodia to 'terminate control' of Colonel Kurtz (Marlon Brando) and his renegade army, because he has gone fruit loop crazy and thinks he is God.

First time I have seen it. Several things strike you about this film.

1. Its bloody long: about 3 1/4 hours as opposed to the original 2 1/2. Only watch it if you have a free Sunday (like I did) and are prepared for 3+ hours of Vietnam film.

2. Marlon Brando is bonkers

3. The Vietnam War sucked big hairy bollocks

Basically, the length of the film aside, I think this is a film of two halves (Brian).

The first half is genius, Martin Sheen gets briefed on his mission (by Harrison Ford!), then meets Colonel Kilgore (Robert Duvall) who is the best thing about this film. "I love the smell of napalm in the morning" etc. He is completely fecjed in the napper and in the middle of an air strike on a beach community orders some of his men to go and surf, as one of them is a champion surfer from back in the U.S. While bombs are dropping all around him (none of which he even flinches at) he gets out his megaphone and yells encouragement to the surfers... genius)

The second half I felt dragged and didn't live up to the first half. The crew (including a young Laurence Fishburne) travel up the river to seek out Brando.
Eventually they find him and discover that, as all the reports suggest, Brando is a complete nut bar. However, Willard starts to understand where Brando is coming from and the futility of war/are we all insane/who are the real murderers in the war etc

I won't spoil the ending but needless to say its pretty fucked up.

Definitely worth seeing just because it is a modern classic and Martin Sheen is good. Also look out for Dennis Hopper as a stoned photographer chilling out in Brando's tribe and looking completely out of place. Nice.

Rating: 1st half 4.5/5, 2nd half 3.5/5. Overall: 4/5 (if you can last 3 hours +)

Also you can check out reviews on the following sites:

IMDb

Amazon

Watched Battle Royale the other day: As I'm sure everyone knows it concerns a class of Japanese schoolchildren who are dropped on an island and are given three days to kill each other, there can be only one survivor, in true Highlander fashion. To this end they are given random weapons, from machine pistols to pan lids, and are tagged with explosives. It is up to the kids to decide whether to go for it and kill with abandon, commit suicide or team up to think of a way out.

It was all fairly enjoyable, quite bloody as you might expect, though there were a few too many 'I've always fancied you but now you're dead' moments for my liking. The acting was variable; Beat Takeshi as the teacher was in fine wearied form and the main pair were good enough, some of the rest were a touch hysterical...and I recognised the bird in the yellow tracksuit as the insane Gogo girl in Kill Bill, a nice bit of foresight with the costume there.
My dad did put a sort of downer on the ending though; in true Marlie Chunk style he scoffed at the way someone was wondering around after being shot a number of times with a 9mm machine pistol. (If you're wondering, Charlie came in and saw the beginning of Commando, when Arnie shoots the guy in the head, and scoffed at the tiny hole in his forehead saying, "That's a Heckler and Koch MP9; that would've blown his head off!" and walked out.)

Anyway; fairly enjoyable, I don't think the special ed that I watched added anything important, it probably should have ended on RUN rather than the requiems and I don't think I need to see it again but still, I'll give it 3.5/5.

i have to add my vote of happiness to Starsky and Hutch - i was having a crap day - i watched it - day not so crap and so worth the price to see owen wilson singing 'don't give up on us baby'

Watched Vanilla Sky yesterday; good soundtrack...2/5 (and that's generous 'cos I like Jason Lee)

Watched Say Anything yesterday; 'tis a pretty good rom-com; John Cusack in top nervous form, some good dialogue, all in all a nice film. Your mum/g-friend will like it and there's enough there for us.

"I gave her my heart, she gave me a pen."

3.5/5

I also went to see Shaun of the Dead yesterday: It's a great film; lots of laughs and a surprising amount of emotion and people getting ripped up and eaten by zombies.

Shaun, 29 (Simon Pegg, 34) is living a life that resembles Groundhog Day. He gets up, goes to work, and goes to The Winchester with his housemate, bestmate and world class slacker Ed (Nick Frost) all the time. This is getting to his girlfriend (Kate Ashfield) somewhat so she ups sticks, leaves him and decamps to her friends place (Dylan Moran and Lucy Davis). In an effort to console himself, Shaun goes back into his routine of going to the shops, getting a fizzy drink and walking home, all done with mechanical precision and without being aware of the rest of the world. It is only when Shaun discovers a zombie ("shh - we don't use the z-word") in the garden that he and Ed realise what is going on (with the aid of 24 hour news) and attempt to fight the zombies with anything they can lay their hands on which right now seems to be Shaun's old record collection.

Can he succeed? Will he get his girl back? And is the gun hanging over the bar really loaded? Time will tell.


It has some great comedy moments (Shaun slipping in the newsagents, trying to vault a garden fence, Don't Stop me Now, "Can I get any of you cunts a drink?") but it's not all Spaced laughs...in fact there are many emotional moments and it turns into real zombie territory at the end.

If you like zombie films and Spaced you'll love it, if you like zombie films you'll love it (and get jokes like; "We're coming to get you Barbara"...see I don't get it myself). If you like Spaced you'll also probably like it but be warned; it's not Spaced: The Movie (more's the pity). I actaully laughed in the cinema though, and I haven't laughed at a film so much for a while...I just could have done without the 'zombie-horror' last act that's all. If they could have kept up the same quick-fire dark humour all the way, I'd have loved it, as it is...I really liked it...so not bad then. I'll have to see it again to know if I'd want to watch it many times more though. GO SEE.

4/5

Got to agree, go see Shaun of the Dead. But, also go see Dawn of the Dead, it's ace - better than Shaun imho. I actually laughed out loud more in Dawn (and yes, they were deliberately funny bits), especially at killing zombie celebrity lookalikes with a sniper rifle, and insanely fat woman running really fast.
Don't get me wrong, I thought Shaun of the Dead was excellent, but it was no better than say the last episode of Black Books 3, and that didn't cost me any money to see.
Dawn of the Dead 4/5, Shaun of the Dead 3.8/5.

For anyone who appreciates excellent comedy:

The Day Today on DVD

The Day Today on DVD - Amazon

Finally saw City of God the other day and I have to say; it was well worth the wait. The film is narrated by a young man named Rocket who lives in a favella of Rio - The City of God. His ambition is to be a photographer in an area where, if you want respect and/or money, you join a gang and deal drugs. He tells of the rise and fall of gang boss Lil' Ze, a complete nutcase who lived to kill people and take over their business in the 60s and 70s (cue some funky clothes and dancing).

The film is based on a true story and uses mainly unknown kids from the slums and there is not a bum performance there. The cinematography is amazing; the whole film is beached yellow, like the Mexican sections of Traffic, the editing and direction are also flawless (yeah I know it sounds boring but it makes a difference ok?) and the story is compelling. Quite frankly, if you have not seen this film slap yourself and when you've got off the floor GO AND GET IT.

My first 5/5.

Kill Bill 2: v. good, better than part 1.

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind: excellent.

I'll let Sammyboy and King elaborate cos I don't have much time to fuck about on Badgerfest at moment.

Allow me to elaborate at some length:

KB2: Yes

ESOTSM: Yes

goodbye