Walk the Line IS class. Enjoyed it muchly.
Have got hold of Caché yet, but would very much like to see it. I think it playing in our local Picture House soon so might catch it there.
Saw <b>Kiss Kiss Bang Bang</b> the other night which I thought was great, black comedy, predictable in that 5-seconds before something happens you work it out and think, Oh my God they're going to <i>whatever</i>, and then they do and it's very satisfying type of way...
Like it, like it a lot.
Full Version: Films
The line that sticks in my head from platoon is thus;
'you blew his fuckin' head apart!'
an ex of mine would not stop saying it and it drove me as crazy as a vietnam war veteran
'you blew his fuckin' head apart!'
an ex of mine would not stop saying it and it drove me as crazy as a vietnam war veteran
HIDDEN (Caché)
The Plot: Middle class French family begins to receive videotapes of their house under surveillance by an unseen camera. At first it is dismissed as a prank, but then the tapes begin to arrive with bizarre drawings wrapped round them. The police don’t want to know, as nothing has actually happened yet. When a tape with a view of the father’s boyhood home is sent, and then a tape of an unknown corridor in an unknown building, the father realizes the tapes and drawings are connected to a troubled time in his childhood. As the family get more and more stressed out at this unknown menace, the relationships begin to fall apart.
The Verdict: Well I did have high hopes for this film as several people and reviewers have raved about it and by and large it did deliver. The suspense is kept at a sort of peek-from-behind-the-sofa type level, and all the main actors (incl. Daniel Auteuil, Juliette Binoche) are superb. In our modern day environment of Big Brother shows and CCTV, we have pretty much become de-sensitised to the creepy side of voyeurism, and this film plays very cleverly on that fact. The film ends abruptly, and not when you expect it to, and most of the people around me in the cinema launched straight into a debate about what had happened, what it meant and who was responsible. All great provocative films do this, make you ask questions, get you thinking.
Watch out for the chin-hits-the-floor-gobsmack moment about halfway through the film. I think the post-gasping open mouths around the cinema lasted for a good minute or two.
Go see it, but only if you don’t mind films which aren’t all nicely tied up and self-explanatory by the end. Get those brain cogs turning.
8/10
The Plot: Middle class French family begins to receive videotapes of their house under surveillance by an unseen camera. At first it is dismissed as a prank, but then the tapes begin to arrive with bizarre drawings wrapped round them. The police don’t want to know, as nothing has actually happened yet. When a tape with a view of the father’s boyhood home is sent, and then a tape of an unknown corridor in an unknown building, the father realizes the tapes and drawings are connected to a troubled time in his childhood. As the family get more and more stressed out at this unknown menace, the relationships begin to fall apart.
The Verdict: Well I did have high hopes for this film as several people and reviewers have raved about it and by and large it did deliver. The suspense is kept at a sort of peek-from-behind-the-sofa type level, and all the main actors (incl. Daniel Auteuil, Juliette Binoche) are superb. In our modern day environment of Big Brother shows and CCTV, we have pretty much become de-sensitised to the creepy side of voyeurism, and this film plays very cleverly on that fact. The film ends abruptly, and not when you expect it to, and most of the people around me in the cinema launched straight into a debate about what had happened, what it meant and who was responsible. All great provocative films do this, make you ask questions, get you thinking.
Watch out for the chin-hits-the-floor-gobsmack moment about halfway through the film. I think the post-gasping open mouths around the cinema lasted for a good minute or two.
Go see it, but only if you don’t mind films which aren’t all nicely tied up and self-explanatory by the end. Get those brain cogs turning.
8/10
Mmm tasty
Good Night, and Good Luck
An account of Ed Murrow and Fred Friendly's verbal war with Senator McCarthy during his Communist 'Witchhunts' this black and white film has been justly nominated up to its eyeballs. Never has the end of a film been met with such thoughtful silence; the dramatised insider view of the pressures of criticising a man who could ruin careers is compelling, the performances uniformly excellent, particularly from David Strathairn as Ed Murrow, and the direction solid. The use of McCarthy's own televisual performances, cut into the film are a particularly effective device.
There is, perhaps, a lack of character in all but Murrow himself; a side-plot about a secret marriage doesn't serve anything but to illustrate nervy attitudes of the day but this doesn't really detract from a thought-provoking, thoughtful film. Just don't go expecting explosions and whooping...that was next door.
4.5/5
(0/5 on the Bruckheimer scale)
Good Night, and Good Luck
An account of Ed Murrow and Fred Friendly's verbal war with Senator McCarthy during his Communist 'Witchhunts' this black and white film has been justly nominated up to its eyeballs. Never has the end of a film been met with such thoughtful silence; the dramatised insider view of the pressures of criticising a man who could ruin careers is compelling, the performances uniformly excellent, particularly from David Strathairn as Ed Murrow, and the direction solid. The use of McCarthy's own televisual performances, cut into the film are a particularly effective device.
There is, perhaps, a lack of character in all but Murrow himself; a side-plot about a secret marriage doesn't serve anything but to illustrate nervy attitudes of the day but this doesn't really detract from a thought-provoking, thoughtful film. Just don't go expecting explosions and whooping...that was next door.
4.5/5
(0/5 on the Bruckheimer scale)
Now, I know I'm not alone in my appreciation for a film review that makes me laugh. Somehow, the best film reviews for me are the ones about the worst films. Mr Kermode is a master of tearing apart crap films (one that sticks out recently is his vicious and very funny review of Gwyneth Paltrow in Proof).
So, I'm pleased to announce that a new player has entered the arena. The author Zadie Smith started as the Sunday Telegraph film reviewer a couple of weeks back, and today she produced a quality review of Date Movie. I'll just quote the bits that made me laugh the most.
'Date Movie is the worst film I've ever seen. I really mean that. Forty minutes in I fled the cinema feeling dazed, aggrieved and strangely weepy, as if a stranger had just physically threatened me.'
'Date Movie is less than nothing. It's a new concept in crap: a film that is in itself an absence of film.'
For the record, Zadie Smith is not unaccomplished at writing praising reviews either - it's just that the damning ones are so much more fun.
So, I'm pleased to announce that a new player has entered the arena. The author Zadie Smith started as the Sunday Telegraph film reviewer a couple of weeks back, and today she produced a quality review of Date Movie. I'll just quote the bits that made me laugh the most.
'Date Movie is the worst film I've ever seen. I really mean that. Forty minutes in I fled the cinema feeling dazed, aggrieved and strangely weepy, as if a stranger had just physically threatened me.'
'Date Movie is less than nothing. It's a new concept in crap: a film that is in itself an absence of film.'
For the record, Zadie Smith is not unaccomplished at writing praising reviews either - it's just that the damning ones are so much more fun.
Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind
Another early offering from Miazaki (Pre-Ghibli this one) this film has many of the touches that were to become his hall-marks; an environmental message, a young female main protagonist, huge moustaches...and naturally an invredible attention to detail and atmosphere in the animation.
The film is set in a future in which the Earth has become polluted and is now covered mainly by a Toxic Jungle, guarded by huge insects, and man survives in isolated patches and warring tribes. One such patch is the peaceful Valley of the Winds where men are real men, women wear silly hats and samll children are allowed to fly unlikely (and very fast) gliders. The story follows the Princess of this valley as she tries to stop neighbouring warring nations from awaking an ancient monster, destroying her home, the jungle and the balance of life on the planet. Not bad for a pre-pubescent moppet.
Plot, though, however engaging (and it is engaging), is often not the main driving force behind a Miazaki film; it serves mainly as a skellington on which to hang meticulously constructed animation, brimming with imagination and wonder. This is perhaps doing a disservice to the story on this one (though some protagonists' motivations are left a little cloudy the story is pretty coherant) but you could watch it for visuals alone; this film showcased some of the first work from the creator of Neon Genesis Evangellion which may give you some idea of the quality. Of course it may not but then you've already stoppped reading so it don't matter does it?
4.3/5
PS The English version has Jean-Luc Picard
Another early offering from Miazaki (Pre-Ghibli this one) this film has many of the touches that were to become his hall-marks; an environmental message, a young female main protagonist, huge moustaches...and naturally an invredible attention to detail and atmosphere in the animation.
The film is set in a future in which the Earth has become polluted and is now covered mainly by a Toxic Jungle, guarded by huge insects, and man survives in isolated patches and warring tribes. One such patch is the peaceful Valley of the Winds where men are real men, women wear silly hats and samll children are allowed to fly unlikely (and very fast) gliders. The story follows the Princess of this valley as she tries to stop neighbouring warring nations from awaking an ancient monster, destroying her home, the jungle and the balance of life on the planet. Not bad for a pre-pubescent moppet.
Plot, though, however engaging (and it is engaging), is often not the main driving force behind a Miazaki film; it serves mainly as a skellington on which to hang meticulously constructed animation, brimming with imagination and wonder. This is perhaps doing a disservice to the story on this one (though some protagonists' motivations are left a little cloudy the story is pretty coherant) but you could watch it for visuals alone; this film showcased some of the first work from the creator of Neon Genesis Evangellion which may give you some idea of the quality. Of course it may not but then you've already stoppped reading so it don't matter does it?
4.3/5
PS The English version has Jean-Luc Picard
Good Night and Good Luck
Nowt to add to the earlier review except my concurrence and that the soundtrack is qualita.
Syriana
Good performances, some good scenes, but ultimately a mess and it doesn't really tell us anything we don't already know.
Top marks for Clooney for both the above. The boy done good.
Nowt to add to the earlier review except my concurrence and that the soundtrack is qualita.
Syriana
Good performances, some good scenes, but ultimately a mess and it doesn't really tell us anything we don't already know.
Top marks for Clooney for both the above. The boy done good.
Bubba Ho-Tep
A man who might or might not be Elvis fights a Mummy that is preying on the inhabitants of his Texan rest home with the aid of a black man who claims he is JFK.
Yep. It's that kind of film.
Very strange, pretty slow, but with some nice touches (like hieroglyphic subtitles for the Mummy), some nice Elvis work from Bruce Campbell and some darkly humourous comments on growing old this is certainly worth seeing. But probably only once.
3.2/5
A man who might or might not be Elvis fights a Mummy that is preying on the inhabitants of his Texan rest home with the aid of a black man who claims he is JFK.
Yep. It's that kind of film.
Very strange, pretty slow, but with some nice touches (like hieroglyphic subtitles for the Mummy), some nice Elvis work from Bruce Campbell and some darkly humourous comments on growing old this is certainly worth seeing. But probably only once.
3.2/5
Lucky Number Slevin
Pretty good. Josh Harnett is smug and cocky, but amazingly manages not to annoy. Bruce Willis is adequate, Lucy Liu is sweet, and Morgan Freeman and Sir Ben Kingsley try to out-act each other.
The twist is visible from afar, but that doesn't really detract from an entertaining film.
Pretty good. Josh Harnett is smug and cocky, but amazingly manages not to annoy. Bruce Willis is adequate, Lucy Liu is sweet, and Morgan Freeman and Sir Ben Kingsley try to out-act each other.
The twist is visible from afar, but that doesn't really detract from an entertaining film.
Good Night and Good Luck
Yes 7/10
Walk the Line
Fab 8/10
Seeing a preview of Inside Man on Tuesday so will keep you posted.
Yes 7/10
Walk the Line
Fab 8/10
Seeing a preview of Inside Man on Tuesday so will keep you posted.
I keep meaning to mention Inside Man to Noj as he will love it; if not the film then for the fact it contains the following lines (taken from trailer):
"Are you crazy!?"
"Like a fox."
"Are you crazy!?"
"Like a fox."
V For Vendetta
Oh dear, where do I start? I really wanted this film to be good. I was looking forward to seeing it; the trailer had indicated that it was worth my time. I also wanted to believe that the Wachowski Brothers have another good film in them after they used the two Matrix sequels as a kind of wrecking ball with which to demolish the reputation they built with the first of the trilogy.
The set up here is familiar to anyone who has even heard of George Orwell. It's England in the near future, and the country is under the control of John Hurt and his minions. It's like 1984-lite; all the usual restrictions of art and free-will are present. Despite this, there are some glaring discrepancies, notably the fact that most of the people we see in the film seem to be living relatively oppression-free lives. They seem happy, they chat and drink in the pub, and every time some government propaganda is on the telly one of them invariably says 'that's a load of bollocks'. At this point it is probably worth pointing out that this is an adaptation of a comic, but having not read (or even heard of) said comic, I'm in no position to comment on how faithful the film is. So I won't.
The title character, 'V' (voiced by Hugo Weaving), is supposed to be the hero. He wears a Guy Fawkes mask and wants to bring down the government and the order that it forcefully imposes, though his motivation is unclear at the beginning of the film (actually it's still fairly fuzzy at the end, but we'll get to that).
He saves 'Evey' (Natalie Portman, whose attempt at an English accent appears to involve trying to speak without moving her lips) from some government thugs, then later she saves his life when he is hijacking the building that she works in. Because there is now surveillance footage of her helping him, he takes her to his gaff in order to protect her.
Evey then becomes involved in V's plot to blow up the Houses of Parliament (hence the Guy Fawkes connection). I can't be bothered to relay the rest of the plot, but it involves (needless to say) a government cover up, some biological weapons research and a cobbled together love story between the two main characters.
Morally, this film is nowhere. It tries to take the high ground, but fails miserably. I don't even know what the message of this film is supposed to be . It seems to be: 'blowing up buildings and killing innocents is fine as long as you are not the big bad government'. 'V' seems happy to slay anyone who gets in his way and to sacrifice unwilling onlookers in his bid for 'justice'. One particular scene which galled me was when he took revenge on a scientist who worked on the biological weapon I mentioned earlier. She was unaware of the (terrible) use it would be put to and was totally repentant. 'V' kills her anyway - what a hero.
Aside from the lack of moral value in the plot, the film itself is poorly constructed. It's overlong and dull dull dull. There is none of the visual flair of The Matrix (understandably, as the Wachowskis didn't direct). The dialogue (and monologue) is ridiculous. Listening to 'V' endlessly spout his pseudo-philosophical bullshit is like sitting through two hours of The Architect from Matrix Reloaded. It's all 'a propos' this and 'in lieu of' that. The Wachowskis seem to think that crowbarring in a long word into each line of dialogue makes the film intelligent. They're wrong. Only at the end did the film spark a small bit of interest for me, with the closing scenes actually showing some of the visual (if not emotional) finesse that the rest of the film lacks. Accent aside, Portman is fine and the rest of the cast do their best, but has no one in Hollywood noticed that Hugo Weaving has a weird and annoying voice? His accent here, as always, is all over the shop.
To sum up then, V For Vendetta is a film without a soul. It could have been a good revenge movie. It isn't. It could have made some telling comments on modern day terrorism and the ways in which our governments play on our fear of terrorism. It doesn't. Avoid.
2/10 (one of those marks is for Stephen Fry, who is the best thing about the film despite his character being pointless)
Oh dear, where do I start? I really wanted this film to be good. I was looking forward to seeing it; the trailer had indicated that it was worth my time. I also wanted to believe that the Wachowski Brothers have another good film in them after they used the two Matrix sequels as a kind of wrecking ball with which to demolish the reputation they built with the first of the trilogy.
The set up here is familiar to anyone who has even heard of George Orwell. It's England in the near future, and the country is under the control of John Hurt and his minions. It's like 1984-lite; all the usual restrictions of art and free-will are present. Despite this, there are some glaring discrepancies, notably the fact that most of the people we see in the film seem to be living relatively oppression-free lives. They seem happy, they chat and drink in the pub, and every time some government propaganda is on the telly one of them invariably says 'that's a load of bollocks'. At this point it is probably worth pointing out that this is an adaptation of a comic, but having not read (or even heard of) said comic, I'm in no position to comment on how faithful the film is. So I won't.
The title character, 'V' (voiced by Hugo Weaving), is supposed to be the hero. He wears a Guy Fawkes mask and wants to bring down the government and the order that it forcefully imposes, though his motivation is unclear at the beginning of the film (actually it's still fairly fuzzy at the end, but we'll get to that).
He saves 'Evey' (Natalie Portman, whose attempt at an English accent appears to involve trying to speak without moving her lips) from some government thugs, then later she saves his life when he is hijacking the building that she works in. Because there is now surveillance footage of her helping him, he takes her to his gaff in order to protect her.
Evey then becomes involved in V's plot to blow up the Houses of Parliament (hence the Guy Fawkes connection). I can't be bothered to relay the rest of the plot, but it involves (needless to say) a government cover up, some biological weapons research and a cobbled together love story between the two main characters.
Morally, this film is nowhere. It tries to take the high ground, but fails miserably. I don't even know what the message of this film is supposed to be . It seems to be: 'blowing up buildings and killing innocents is fine as long as you are not the big bad government'. 'V' seems happy to slay anyone who gets in his way and to sacrifice unwilling onlookers in his bid for 'justice'. One particular scene which galled me was when he took revenge on a scientist who worked on the biological weapon I mentioned earlier. She was unaware of the (terrible) use it would be put to and was totally repentant. 'V' kills her anyway - what a hero.
Aside from the lack of moral value in the plot, the film itself is poorly constructed. It's overlong and dull dull dull. There is none of the visual flair of The Matrix (understandably, as the Wachowskis didn't direct). The dialogue (and monologue) is ridiculous. Listening to 'V' endlessly spout his pseudo-philosophical bullshit is like sitting through two hours of The Architect from Matrix Reloaded. It's all 'a propos' this and 'in lieu of' that. The Wachowskis seem to think that crowbarring in a long word into each line of dialogue makes the film intelligent. They're wrong. Only at the end did the film spark a small bit of interest for me, with the closing scenes actually showing some of the visual (if not emotional) finesse that the rest of the film lacks. Accent aside, Portman is fine and the rest of the cast do their best, but has no one in Hollywood noticed that Hugo Weaving has a weird and annoying voice? His accent here, as always, is all over the shop.
To sum up then, V For Vendetta is a film without a soul. It could have been a good revenge movie. It isn't. It could have made some telling comments on modern day terrorism and the ways in which our governments play on our fear of terrorism. It doesn't. Avoid.
2/10 (one of those marks is for Stephen Fry, who is the best thing about the film despite his character being pointless)
Harsh Jon; I like it. (The review that is, not the film. I haven't seen the film. I might have to now you've savaged it though.)
Guy X
Jason Biggs on good form in Iceland-shot, American grunts in Greenland movie. Tones of M*A*S*H and Catch 22 but generally less funny than the former and less intense than the latter. Of interest but nothing special.
3.2/5
Porco Rosso
More Ghibli; good but not great.
3.8/5
Guy X
Jason Biggs on good form in Iceland-shot, American grunts in Greenland movie. Tones of M*A*S*H and Catch 22 but generally less funny than the former and less intense than the latter. Of interest but nothing special.
3.2/5
Porco Rosso
More Ghibli; good but not great.
3.8/5
INSIDE MAN
The cast: Denzel Washington, Clive Owen, Willem Dafoe, Jodie Foster, Christopher Plummer etc
The director: Spike Lee (Malcolm X, Do the Right Thing etc)
The plot: Clive Owen plays a super-clever, menacing bank robber up against Denzel Washington’s Training Day-esque Detective. He has planned the robbery down to the last detail. The gang go in dressed as a bunch of painters, hold everyone hostage and spend a few hours scheming and bashing people about.
Meanwhile outside, the area is cordoned off, and Denzel does his thing sending in food, dealing with demands, trying to figure out how to get the hostages out, save the money and arrest the bad guys.
This is a pretty standard bank robbery movie with a twist. I can’t really go into too much detail about the twist for obvious reasons but it involves Christopher Plummer’s dodgy bank chairman character.
The verdict: I really liked this film. It is essentially just a vehicle for Spike Lee to throw in a few topical race issues (an Indian has his turban torn off and called an Arab, a black kid plays a 50 Cent video game where the purpose is blowing everyone’s head off with guns). Denzel plays his Training Day character but just slightly less corrupt and Jodie Foster is a bit cack but then she’s not in it that much.
Clive Owen is good – I don’t generally like him but he managed to pull off the calm/intelligent/brooding mastermind quite well.
The twist is fantastic – although slightly cleverer people (King) might be able to spot it a mile off.
The only criticism is this: remember Ocean’s Eleven? Remember at the end when Andy Garcia is kind of looking at the cameras, looking at the floor, looking at the lack of money and trying to figure out what happened? This is what happens at the end of Inside Man, except this time, Spike Lee feels the need to explain every tiny detail so there is no doubt as to what happened inside the bank. In most films it’s a fine line between explaining too much and not explaining enough. Here I think the film does go on too long and you do think its going to end for about 20 minutes (a bit like Lord of the Rings III)
Overall though, good good good.
8.5/10
The cast: Denzel Washington, Clive Owen, Willem Dafoe, Jodie Foster, Christopher Plummer etc
The director: Spike Lee (Malcolm X, Do the Right Thing etc)
The plot: Clive Owen plays a super-clever, menacing bank robber up against Denzel Washington’s Training Day-esque Detective. He has planned the robbery down to the last detail. The gang go in dressed as a bunch of painters, hold everyone hostage and spend a few hours scheming and bashing people about.
Meanwhile outside, the area is cordoned off, and Denzel does his thing sending in food, dealing with demands, trying to figure out how to get the hostages out, save the money and arrest the bad guys.
This is a pretty standard bank robbery movie with a twist. I can’t really go into too much detail about the twist for obvious reasons but it involves Christopher Plummer’s dodgy bank chairman character.
The verdict: I really liked this film. It is essentially just a vehicle for Spike Lee to throw in a few topical race issues (an Indian has his turban torn off and called an Arab, a black kid plays a 50 Cent video game where the purpose is blowing everyone’s head off with guns). Denzel plays his Training Day character but just slightly less corrupt and Jodie Foster is a bit cack but then she’s not in it that much.
Clive Owen is good – I don’t generally like him but he managed to pull off the calm/intelligent/brooding mastermind quite well.
The twist is fantastic – although slightly cleverer people (King) might be able to spot it a mile off.
The only criticism is this: remember Ocean’s Eleven? Remember at the end when Andy Garcia is kind of looking at the cameras, looking at the floor, looking at the lack of money and trying to figure out what happened? This is what happens at the end of Inside Man, except this time, Spike Lee feels the need to explain every tiny detail so there is no doubt as to what happened inside the bank. In most films it’s a fine line between explaining too much and not explaining enough. Here I think the film does go on too long and you do think its going to end for about 20 minutes (a bit like Lord of the Rings III)
Overall though, good good good.
8.5/10
DiG!
DiG! is a documantary following the fortunes of two bands, The Brian Jonestown Massacre and The Dandy Warhols, as they launch their careers. One band makes it big and the other crumbles under the weight of its frontman's ego.
This is a facinating look at what makes a successful band; apparently you need more than talent; The Brian Jonestown Massacre's frontman Anton Newton has talent in spades and, with the help of the Dandys, kick-starts a 'musical revolution' but gets left behind when it becomes he doesn't have what you really need; a modicum of stability and a big slice of luck. He and his band have to watch their, possibly less-talented, bretheren get a huge record deal and break Europe while they can't make it through an industry showcase without a brawl breaking out on stage.
The 'moments' in the film are too numerous to mention (it was, after all, filmed over 7 years); watch it if you have any interest in the indie scene.
4/5
DiG! is a documantary following the fortunes of two bands, The Brian Jonestown Massacre and The Dandy Warhols, as they launch their careers. One band makes it big and the other crumbles under the weight of its frontman's ego.
This is a facinating look at what makes a successful band; apparently you need more than talent; The Brian Jonestown Massacre's frontman Anton Newton has talent in spades and, with the help of the Dandys, kick-starts a 'musical revolution' but gets left behind when it becomes he doesn't have what you really need; a modicum of stability and a big slice of luck. He and his band have to watch their, possibly less-talented, bretheren get a huge record deal and break Europe while they can't make it through an industry showcase without a brawl breaking out on stage.
The 'moments' in the film are too numerous to mention (it was, after all, filmed over 7 years); watch it if you have any interest in the indie scene.
4/5
Did anyone (Tart) hear that they were thinking of making a movie out of Enders Game?
Possible a movie incorporating Ender's Shadow to give both viewpoints in one record breaking blockbluster.
blockbluster? Gusty directing from the west making the air feel crisp and bringing water to the eyes, easing up overnight to be replaced by some mild, drizzle, aka "daytime TV".
Possible a movie incorporating Ender's Shadow to give both viewpoints in one record breaking blockbluster.
blockbluster? Gusty directing from the west making the air feel crisp and bringing water to the eyes, easing up overnight to be replaced by some mild, drizzle, aka "daytime TV".
I read that rumour somewhere. Ender's Game doesn't strike me as ideal feature film material frankly.
My God is there some serious review type ploys going on here - Jehoosifash!
Walk the Line's use of the song 'Ring of Fire' held totally different connotations for me - but then again I do have a sick but funny mind. Ahh toilet humour. I happened to watch it on the plane and wondered whether I definitely don't like films on planes even when they're supposed to be good. Cat in A Hat and Alice in Wonderland were fucking brilliant on the plane, so why wasn't this?
Watched Garden State again. How fucking genius is this film? I mean really - absolute masterclass wit applied to an odd story with an old fashioned ending. That shirt in the bathroom scene makes me want to cry everytime - and did I mention the soundtrack? Fuku me as they say in Japanese.
Memoirs of a Geisha - one to watch with the ladies, this film's cinematography is absolutely sublime, but long and perhaps for the more sensitive types amongst us; which would justify sitting through such a long film about a girl who gets peddled all over the shop - in wonderful clothes, make up and very difficult shoes! Memoirs of a Geisha is wonderful for its portrayal of 30s Japan and an ancient tradition lost upon the harlots of the world! I doubt it does the book justice though - comments...
Dont say V is bad - ARRRRGH!
Watched Get Rich or Die Trying! Yes old, yes rap, yes totally not what any of you might watch but I watched it ok - so there! This film actually shows Fiddy Cent to be quite a good actor. If you enjoyed 8 Mile you could give this one a try because it's more violent, grittier and definitely mo blick! They even do a tutorial on how to wash up crack...You will love the line...
'Never take the panties of this bitch' as a reference to crack. I quite enjoyed this film because it puts this eejit into perspective. I disbelievingly read a GQ commentary once on how scary it was to actually interview rappers and now I know why. Check it.
I have got Crash, King Dong, Syriana, Into the Blue (for its academic content) and others on pirated DVD to watch and really cant wait.
[quote=Sammyboy,5-Jan-06, 11:58]
No one done Kong yet? Christ wept on a bike...
KING KONG
1. It's fecking ACE
2. It's a bit long
No no no no no no no no no...
Now I was really looking forward to this film. And it had emotion too because by the end of it I thought FIfty Cent should have got an oscar for his part, but honestly...the whole beginning was so bloody disjointed - some of the cutting of the scenes was pretty poor - Jackson's inexperience in directing anything in between ker-pow type action scenes began to show through the scenes like butter through fingers.
They don't show Fiddy's face once he's fallen off the Empire State. Why? Surely this would have evoked even more sympathy from the already weeping rap fans in the audience for all those 9 bullets that hit him...jokes aside I felt bad the monkey snuffed it.
Furthermore, explain to me why the fuck noone gets freaked out to sheeyat when they all see this hardcore skeleton munching native girl on the island for the first time. They're all like casual as fuck as though they're talking about little orphan Annie...
'Yeah...umm she doesn't want your chocolate maaaan, just step away from the native gurrl man...Let's go play some gooooolf maaaan. '
Pricks.
And they dont show you how they get Kong from the bloody island through rocks and choppy seas back to bloody New York. All the fucking way from Sumatra?!?!?! I mean fecking Jesus?! Wouldnt the fucker have woken up somewhere round...Australia...and fucked them up good. Or Fiddy would have plain just drowned...
All in all a disappointing film...for other reasons too. Slowing down some of the scenes in the run up to hitting the island was GAY as was some of the splicing of the love scenes with the captain freaking out cos his ship was all going kerplooey!
I liked Fiddy though. He was good.
No one done Kong yet? Christ wept on a bike...
KING KONG
1. It's fecking ACE
2. It's a bit long
No no no no no no no no no...
Now I was really looking forward to this film. And it had emotion too because by the end of it I thought FIfty Cent should have got an oscar for his part, but honestly...the whole beginning was so bloody disjointed - some of the cutting of the scenes was pretty poor - Jackson's inexperience in directing anything in between ker-pow type action scenes began to show through the scenes like butter through fingers.
They don't show Fiddy's face once he's fallen off the Empire State. Why? Surely this would have evoked even more sympathy from the already weeping rap fans in the audience for all those 9 bullets that hit him...jokes aside I felt bad the monkey snuffed it.
Furthermore, explain to me why the fuck noone gets freaked out to sheeyat when they all see this hardcore skeleton munching native girl on the island for the first time. They're all like casual as fuck as though they're talking about little orphan Annie...
'Yeah...umm she doesn't want your chocolate maaaan, just step away from the native gurrl man...Let's go play some gooooolf maaaan. '
Pricks.
And they dont show you how they get Kong from the bloody island through rocks and choppy seas back to bloody New York. All the fucking way from Sumatra?!?!?! I mean fecking Jesus?! Wouldnt the fucker have woken up somewhere round...Australia...and fucked them up good. Or Fiddy would have plain just drowned...
All in all a disappointing film...for other reasons too. Slowing down some of the scenes in the run up to hitting the island was GAY as was some of the splicing of the love scenes with the captain freaking out cos his ship was all going kerplooey!
I liked Fiddy though. He was good.
Jesus Gov! Is there no end to your smut peddling? As for getting Kong back watch Jackson's Acceptance Speech.
QUOTE
Jackson's inexperience in directing anything in between ker-pow type action scenes began to show through the scenes like butter through fingers.
What? Did you even watch the Lord Of The Rings films? Heavenly Creatures? No? (Very few 'ker-pows' in Heavenly Creatures). Even The Frighteners doesn't have any action in.
King Kong is ace. Don't mess with Jackson - he'll beat you down.
Chronicles of Narnia
(The lion the Witch and the Wardrobe)
You should all know the tale of a mystical, snow-bound land though some geezer's coat hangers (if you don't you should fire your parents), but what you probably don't remember is how little actually happens: There's a couple of meetings, a bit of a chase, some frollicking and a sacrifice/re-birth, but the whole huge battle bit happens off-page. It's to the screen-writers' credit then, that they manage to fill 2hrs of screen-time without significantly losing the plot; yes, that final battle feels supurfluous and excessively shiny when compared to anything LotR had to offer (and the comparisons are unavoidable) but the journey there is quite satisfactory.
The kids do an acceptable job with the wide-eyed wonder, Georgie Henley as Lucy (the youngest) is particularly good and not annoying at all - memories of BBC adptions forgotten, but the boys have trouble with the whole leading an army bit. And why not?
James McAvoy as Mr Tumnus does well in a thankless costume, Ray Winstone and Dawn French are engaging as the voices of Mr & Mrs Beaver but Liam Neeson's Aslan lacks a certain gravitas; I have problems imagining him aweing anyone.
Problems? Well, while the dangers of adapting a book in the manner of the first Harry Potter (yawn) have been avoided, there's a lack of grit that you might expect from a Disney film. The Blitz-set start is great, but the sense of danger inherent in the bombs doesn't translate all that well to the White Witch and her army when they're bathed in glorious sunlight.
Never-the-less this is a darn sight better than Pokemon. Even if Peter is the poshest teen in Christendom.
3.5/5
PS Watch out for 'Big Suze' playing the older version of Susan at the end. "Hmm Big Suze."
(The lion the Witch and the Wardrobe)
You should all know the tale of a mystical, snow-bound land though some geezer's coat hangers (if you don't you should fire your parents), but what you probably don't remember is how little actually happens: There's a couple of meetings, a bit of a chase, some frollicking and a sacrifice/re-birth, but the whole huge battle bit happens off-page. It's to the screen-writers' credit then, that they manage to fill 2hrs of screen-time without significantly losing the plot; yes, that final battle feels supurfluous and excessively shiny when compared to anything LotR had to offer (and the comparisons are unavoidable) but the journey there is quite satisfactory.
The kids do an acceptable job with the wide-eyed wonder, Georgie Henley as Lucy (the youngest) is particularly good and not annoying at all - memories of BBC adptions forgotten, but the boys have trouble with the whole leading an army bit. And why not?
James McAvoy as Mr Tumnus does well in a thankless costume, Ray Winstone and Dawn French are engaging as the voices of Mr & Mrs Beaver but Liam Neeson's Aslan lacks a certain gravitas; I have problems imagining him aweing anyone.
Problems? Well, while the dangers of adapting a book in the manner of the first Harry Potter (yawn) have been avoided, there's a lack of grit that you might expect from a Disney film. The Blitz-set start is great, but the sense of danger inherent in the bombs doesn't translate all that well to the White Witch and her army when they're bathed in glorious sunlight.
Never-the-less this is a darn sight better than Pokemon. Even if Peter is the poshest teen in Christendom.
3.5/5
PS Watch out for 'Big Suze' playing the older version of Susan at the end. "Hmm Big Suze."
QUOTE
What? Did you even watch the Lord Of The Rings films? Heavenly Creatures? No? (Very few 'ker-pows' in Heavenly Creatures). Even The Frighteners doesn't have any action in.
Awright awright - but Kong was the worst of em all okay! Bad Taste was better!
King Kong is ace. Don't mess with Jackson - he'll beat you down.
Awright awright - but Kong was the worst of em all okay! Bad Taste was better!
King Kong is ace. Don't mess with Jackson - he'll beat you down.
Id never contest that - seen the size of the fucker?
King 3.8/5
With you there mate. I thoroughly enjoyed the film. It's a kiddy film and amongst all the rest of the Potter and sheeyat gamut of OTT type films (though I enjoyed the last Potter more than the others ecept Fiennes turn in it), this is the only film recently that's transported me back to that feeling of excitement of watching movies as a kid - read Witches, Big, Back to the Future, etc etc. It had the magic to some extent I thought...
Agree that Neeson wasn't great. Thought Tumnus was a bit of an over-plummy gimp to be honest - no need to be sooooooo bloody plummy and crisp and precise. Loved the expression on his face when he gets frozen though
HAHAHAHAHA....
Ahh yes the movies....
And if you guys want to watch a fucking insanely cool and hilarious yet dark and violent Chinese film then I would strongly recommend Old Boy from Asia tartan Extreme. Have any of you seen it?
Plot - guy gets locked up in a room for 15 years without being told why. Upon his escape he has a number of days to find out why he was imprisoned etc etc. Its fucking quick but pretty sick towards the end. Check it out here!
http://films.tartanfilmsusa.com/oldboy/
With you there mate. I thoroughly enjoyed the film. It's a kiddy film and amongst all the rest of the Potter and sheeyat gamut of OTT type films (though I enjoyed the last Potter more than the others ecept Fiennes turn in it), this is the only film recently that's transported me back to that feeling of excitement of watching movies as a kid - read Witches, Big, Back to the Future, etc etc. It had the magic to some extent I thought...
Agree that Neeson wasn't great. Thought Tumnus was a bit of an over-plummy gimp to be honest - no need to be sooooooo bloody plummy and crisp and precise. Loved the expression on his face when he gets frozen though
HAHAHAHAHA....
Ahh yes the movies....
And if you guys want to watch a fucking insanely cool and hilarious yet dark and violent Chinese film then I would strongly recommend Old Boy from Asia tartan Extreme. Have any of you seen it?
Plot - guy gets locked up in a room for 15 years without being told why. Upon his escape he has a number of days to find out why he was imprisoned etc etc. Its fucking quick but pretty sick towards the end. Check it out here!
http://films.tartanfilmsusa.com/oldboy/
My review's on page 7; I liked it, especially the corridor fight.
Oh and it's Korean.
Oh and it's Korean.
Spielberg in 'Happy Ending Shocker'
Legendary misanthrope Stephen Spielberg has shocked audiences by ending his latest opus, an updated adaptation of HG Wells's War of the Worlds, comparitively happily. Straw polls of cinema-goers leaving the film last night seemed slightly shell shocked by the experience, "I couldn't believe it!" said Toni Greene (27) "There I was; expecting misery heaped upon misery, and he's gone and pulled the rug from under me with that ending twinge of happiness...what a guy!" Toni's response seemed typical of the night with only a few dissenting voices complaining at the sea-change. "Is this the same guy who had ET explode killing Elliot's entire family and leaving him with no limbs; left to rue not shopping the little bugger to the Feds on sight? That was a good one." So said one man and frankly your correspondent agrees:
Good film; shame about the ending.
3.5/5
Legendary misanthrope Stephen Spielberg has shocked audiences by ending his latest opus, an updated adaptation of HG Wells's War of the Worlds, comparitively happily. Straw polls of cinema-goers leaving the film last night seemed slightly shell shocked by the experience, "I couldn't believe it!" said Toni Greene (27) "There I was; expecting misery heaped upon misery, and he's gone and pulled the rug from under me with that ending twinge of happiness...what a guy!" Toni's response seemed typical of the night with only a few dissenting voices complaining at the sea-change. "Is this the same guy who had ET explode killing Elliot's entire family and leaving him with no limbs; left to rue not shopping the little bugger to the Feds on sight? That was a good one." So said one man and frankly your correspondent agrees:
Good film; shame about the ending.
3.5/5
I like happy endings.
I agree basically with your comment
However, I was more disappointed by the dull, anti-climactic nature of the ending than the fact that it was happy.
Happy endings in the cheesy, tinged with sadness, big orchestra with even bigger timpani, E.T. style are definitely my bag baby.
WotW didn't have one of those though.
I agree basically with your comment
QUOTE
Good film; shame about the ending.
However, I was more disappointed by the dull, anti-climactic nature of the ending than the fact that it was happy.
Happy endings in the cheesy, tinged with sadness, big orchestra with even bigger timpani, E.T. style are definitely my bag baby.
WotW didn't have one of those though.
QUOTE(King @ 6-Apr-06, 10:43)
My review's on page 7; I liked it, especially the corridor fight.
Oh and it's Korean.
Oh and it's Korean.
You know what they say...
All dem fuckers look the sames ta me....
Sheeet. Thanks for the correction.
It was both those things I guess but one informed the other I think;
SPOILER
It would have been less anti-climactic if Ray had been left (like the rest of the world) holding the pieces of a broken family rather than returning to a fully intact one.
Gov: I'm not picky; I'm just pedantic.
SPOILER
It would have been less anti-climactic if Ray had been left (like the rest of the world) holding the pieces of a broken family rather than returning to a fully intact one.
Gov: I'm not picky; I'm just pedantic.
QUOTE
It would have been less anti-climactic if Ray had been left (like the rest of the world) holding the pieces of a broken family rather than returning to a fully intact one.
Agreed. Or if they had all survived by escaping on bmxs with all the aliens on their tail wih a big orchestra with big timpanis playing some exciting music in the background. Then the aliens could have left to a trumpet fanfare and their spaceship could leave a rainbow in the sky.I think I need to watch E.T. again.
^^lol
The Three Burials of Meliquades Estrada
When a Mexican 'wetback' is semi-accidentally killed by a boorish border patrol guard, his best friend (Tommy Lee Jones) decides to uphold his promise to bury him in his home town and decides to take his killer along for a journey of forgiveness and redemption.
Beautifully shot, great performances but a bit random.
4/5
The Three Burials of Meliquades Estrada
When a Mexican 'wetback' is semi-accidentally killed by a boorish border patrol guard, his best friend (Tommy Lee Jones) decides to uphold his promise to bury him in his home town and decides to take his killer along for a journey of forgiveness and redemption.
Beautifully shot, great performances but a bit random.
4/5
Closer and Madagascar
Although some of you may have seen Closer (film about 2 couples who all meet in strange circumstances and get involved eith each other in rather strange circumstances with the film exploring manipulation, insecurity, jealousy and love/hate in very interesting ways) and reviewed it too I have to say that I did enjoy this film once I got over:
a) Jude Law's umpteenth and seriously deteriorated performance as an actor of any sort of note - my God man - learn how to fecking cry if you're going to act.
the seriously trite but sharp conversations on which the entire film is based (one imagines that the script makes better reading than it does acted out)...
c) how wonderful Natalie Portman seems to look throughout the film...
A superb performance by the girls (my God how do they emote so much without saying anything) and Clive Owen (who I thought was unconvincing in Sin City as SUCH a badass...) who managed to carry off some fabulous lines and emotions with such convincing timing and conviction...
All in all the film was shot in a very interesting way (skipping forward and back) in a unique take on this overdone format and by the end of it I enjoyed Jude getting it stuck to him on amost every occasion.
3.5/5
Madagascar
Boring in bits and quite childish in the set-up or first half of the film because one has come to expect more from these new-age Pixar mature-but-kiddy animated films, Madagascar becomes seriously funny once they get out of New York and get onto the island. Ali G steals the fucking show with his rendition of an Indian lemur (?) king and who, I must say, should really put up all his lines for download on the net! Hilarious to the end I was in shits and giggles mode right up to the finish. The screaming hysteria of 'Foooooosa' scene is particularly memorable...I stil think The Emperor's New Groove and Jungle Book rank closest to the number one spot - Shrek 2 close behind.
3/5
Although some of you may have seen Closer (film about 2 couples who all meet in strange circumstances and get involved eith each other in rather strange circumstances with the film exploring manipulation, insecurity, jealousy and love/hate in very interesting ways) and reviewed it too I have to say that I did enjoy this film once I got over:
a) Jude Law's umpteenth and seriously deteriorated performance as an actor of any sort of note - my God man - learn how to fecking cry if you're going to act.
the seriously trite but sharp conversations on which the entire film is based (one imagines that the script makes better reading than it does acted out)...c) how wonderful Natalie Portman seems to look throughout the film...
A superb performance by the girls (my God how do they emote so much without saying anything) and Clive Owen (who I thought was unconvincing in Sin City as SUCH a badass...) who managed to carry off some fabulous lines and emotions with such convincing timing and conviction...
All in all the film was shot in a very interesting way (skipping forward and back) in a unique take on this overdone format and by the end of it I enjoyed Jude getting it stuck to him on amost every occasion.
3.5/5
Madagascar
Boring in bits and quite childish in the set-up or first half of the film because one has come to expect more from these new-age Pixar mature-but-kiddy animated films, Madagascar becomes seriously funny once they get out of New York and get onto the island. Ali G steals the fucking show with his rendition of an Indian lemur (?) king and who, I must say, should really put up all his lines for download on the net! Hilarious to the end I was in shits and giggles mode right up to the finish. The screaming hysteria of 'Foooooosa' scene is particularly memorable...I stil think The Emperor's New Groove and Jungle Book rank closest to the number one spot - Shrek 2 close behind.
3/5
Underworld
I was told I should watch this film as I'd enjoy it despite it being utter tosh: The plot, such as it is, involves a vampiric Kate Beckinsale shooting werewolves whislt dressed in PVC (It's my favourite plastic 'cos it's nice and shiny and completely waterproof) and trying to protect some human she's taken a shine to.
To say this is a triumph of style over content would be understating the situation; there is barely any content. Sure there's something in there about a war between the sleek vampires and the scruffy werewolves, and there are a few secrets and lies scattered about but it's all just a scanty framework to try and appease the gods of logic and allow our Kate to jump off high buildings and shoot big guns.
And why not?
In the end it was utter tosh but I enjoyed it (even though it failed to answer the question of why we, being but prey in this situation, should care about any of them).
1/5 for filmic quality
4/5 if you like the thought of Kate Beckinsale in rubber.
I was told I should watch this film as I'd enjoy it despite it being utter tosh: The plot, such as it is, involves a vampiric Kate Beckinsale shooting werewolves whislt dressed in PVC (It's my favourite plastic 'cos it's nice and shiny and completely waterproof) and trying to protect some human she's taken a shine to.
To say this is a triumph of style over content would be understating the situation; there is barely any content. Sure there's something in there about a war between the sleek vampires and the scruffy werewolves, and there are a few secrets and lies scattered about but it's all just a scanty framework to try and appease the gods of logic and allow our Kate to jump off high buildings and shoot big guns.
And why not?
In the end it was utter tosh but I enjoyed it (even though it failed to answer the question of why we, being but prey in this situation, should care about any of them).
1/5 for filmic quality
4/5 if you like the thought of Kate Beckinsale in rubber.
watch the next one too, both of them are actually one two-parter...
We still don't know why but kate sheds her rubber suit for the obligatory cross-species mating scene.
We still don't know why but kate sheds her rubber suit for the obligatory cross-species mating scene.
Yeah it's on pre-order...might be some time. Shame about the shedding; it may have been nice to have some kink in the obligitory scene.
You're saying all my questi...my question will be answered by the second installment then?
You're saying all my questi...my question will be answered by the second installment then?
QUOTE(King @ 24-Apr-06, 12:37)
And why not?
Why do you always do that?
Sublime criticism + 'and why not?'
Cheeky monkey!
Um...I wasn't aware it's a habit. It's a joke though; Barry Norman's 'catchphrase' despite the fact he never said it.
If you like we can replace it in the last review with; 'Doesn't make her a bad person.'
Better?
If you like we can replace it in the last review with; 'Doesn't make her a bad person.'
Better?
I'm not aware its a habit either - I just saw it twice in your critques and thought to mention it. By way of the catchphrase logic though, it must certainly be a habit. 
I think you ought to really replace it with...
'And what a lovely bosom she has too...'
Sorry. I can't help it.
I think you ought to really replace it with...
'And what a lovely bosom she has too...'
Sorry. I can't help it.
Talking of critiquing things, Gov we should really fire up a poetry/creative writing thread to hark back to our illustrious creative writing anthology days with Proc. Really used to enjoy that. Even if it meant putting up with Dora and Dimmock every week.
There are some exciting trailers around at the moment including Bond. I liked it.
QUOTE(Sammyboy @ 3-May-06, 17:52)
Talking of critiquing things, Gov we should really fire up a poetry/creative writing thread to hark back to our illustrious creative writing anthology days with Proc. Really used to enjoy that. Even if it meant putting up with Dora and Dimmock every week.
Absolutement mon ami! I shall invite yaow to get it going? What do you want to start with? Someone get us one of those nifty poems on the tube thingybobs!
Fully keen. Since this is such an on the fly page - shall we start a 'bathroom graffiti and other inspirational musings' thread? People can stick on some quartets, couplets, fridge magnet phrases and perhaps some serious lines from verse? King shall be allowed only a maximum of 4 lines as he's dangerous that one- we'll be talking in iambic pentameter by the end of it!!! Watch it sonny!
What says the throng?
24 hour party people!
Brilliant film - loved the first person style of telling us the story of Factory Records, Joy Division, New Order and Happy Mondays. The scene with the pigeons on the roof is fucking brilliant! Never has Manchester been celebrated so much since Ween discovered Oasis back in the day!
3.5/5
Brilliant film - loved the first person style of telling us the story of Factory Records, Joy Division, New Order and Happy Mondays. The scene with the pigeons on the roof is fucking brilliant! Never has Manchester been celebrated so much since Ween discovered Oasis back in the day!
3.5/5
Has anyone seen the film 24 Hours in London? Reviews please.
QUOTE
Plot
Blah, blah, blah, villains and bent coppers, blah, blah, blah, girl witnesses murder, blah, blah, blah, cliches ad infinitum...
Empire Review
Bent coppers. Fiercesome transatlantic dodgy dealings. It's been said before and it'll be said again: The Long Good Friday is a hell of a movie. Sadly, 24 Hours In London is not, despite having nicked half of its predecessor's plot.
This time our metropolitan Little Caesar comes in the form of 2.4 Children's Gary Olsen - who actually died soon after this was released; heck of an epitaph - whose sword-assisted reign of terror is put in jeopardy by murder witness Lauren Smith.
Before you can say, 'Not another God-awful Lock, Stock rip-off', the streets are running red with blood and the air has thickened with lines half-inched from Reservoir Dogs. Dismal from start to finish, the result will only appeal to those who want to see the Millennium Dome trashed.
Verdict
Avoid like a dodgy geezer wearing a hoodie. The only thing this film steals is ideas from other, better films.
Blah, blah, blah, villains and bent coppers, blah, blah, blah, girl witnesses murder, blah, blah, blah, cliches ad infinitum...
Empire Review
Bent coppers. Fiercesome transatlantic dodgy dealings. It's been said before and it'll be said again: The Long Good Friday is a hell of a movie. Sadly, 24 Hours In London is not, despite having nicked half of its predecessor's plot.
This time our metropolitan Little Caesar comes in the form of 2.4 Children's Gary Olsen - who actually died soon after this was released; heck of an epitaph - whose sword-assisted reign of terror is put in jeopardy by murder witness Lauren Smith.
Before you can say, 'Not another God-awful Lock, Stock rip-off', the streets are running red with blood and the air has thickened with lines half-inched from Reservoir Dogs. Dismal from start to finish, the result will only appeal to those who want to see the Millennium Dome trashed.
Verdict
Avoid like a dodgy geezer wearing a hoodie. The only thing this film steals is ideas from other, better films.
Haven't seen it myself for some reason Gov.
Grave of the Fireflys
An early Studio Ghibl film that charts the fates of two children in 1945 Japan: Once their mother get toasted by American bombs, they go to live with a neighbour, get tired of her moaning and go and live in a cave where they slowly starve; their lives only occasionaly enlivened by wonder at nearby fireflys and a final release from the misery that is life.
God I'm depressed.
The film shows all the flair and animatic skill you'd expect of a Ghibli film, and I'm sure it really is excellent, but I just couldn't face watching it properly so had it on ff most of the time.
If you can watch Requiem for a Dream and enjoy it I'm sure this'll be nothing: 4/5
If you can't watch an episode of Eastenders due to the spectre of severe depression give it a miss 1/5
CONFETTI
The plot: The wedding magazine 'Confetti' decides to hold a competition to find the most original wedding idea. Three couples are chosen. Broadway Musical Theme (Martin Freeman from the Office and Jessica Stevenson from Spaced), Tennis Theme (Stepehen Mangan from Green Wing and random canadian bird) and Naturist Theme (Robert Webb plus other bird from Peep Show). We follow the contestants in the weeks leading up to the competition as they work with the two gay wedding planners to try and win the event.
The verdict: This is very much Best in Show meets the Office except not as funny. Stephen Mangan is good as the ultra-competitive and jealous tennis player, and Robert Webb is good despite alarming and constant full-frontal nudity. Overall though you just couldn't help feeling that given the British talent on show they could have done a lot, LOT better. Jimmy Carr still annoys the cack out of me and there is a very unnecessary singing-medley finale.
Not great, 5 out of 10
Instead... go and watch...
ONCE IN A LIFETIME
The plot: The rise and fall of the New York Cosmos, the 'soccer' team set up by the head of Warner Communications to bring the beautiful game to the masses in America. In the 70's this included buying Pele, Beckenbauer, George Best among others. The profile of soccer goes from non-existant to passionate fervour in the space of about a year. The fall is just as dramatic when the rest of the teams in the league cant keep up with the financial pace set by the Cosmos.
The verdict: Excellent documentary, I'm sure enjoyable even if you don't like football. Good interviews, funny and intriguing. Imagine trying to start a major following for baseball in the UK and you get some idea of the task that faced the people behind the Cosmos.
Fab, 8 out of 10
The plot: The wedding magazine 'Confetti' decides to hold a competition to find the most original wedding idea. Three couples are chosen. Broadway Musical Theme (Martin Freeman from the Office and Jessica Stevenson from Spaced), Tennis Theme (Stepehen Mangan from Green Wing and random canadian bird) and Naturist Theme (Robert Webb plus other bird from Peep Show). We follow the contestants in the weeks leading up to the competition as they work with the two gay wedding planners to try and win the event.
The verdict: This is very much Best in Show meets the Office except not as funny. Stephen Mangan is good as the ultra-competitive and jealous tennis player, and Robert Webb is good despite alarming and constant full-frontal nudity. Overall though you just couldn't help feeling that given the British talent on show they could have done a lot, LOT better. Jimmy Carr still annoys the cack out of me and there is a very unnecessary singing-medley finale.
Not great, 5 out of 10
Instead... go and watch...
ONCE IN A LIFETIME
The plot: The rise and fall of the New York Cosmos, the 'soccer' team set up by the head of Warner Communications to bring the beautiful game to the masses in America. In the 70's this included buying Pele, Beckenbauer, George Best among others. The profile of soccer goes from non-existant to passionate fervour in the space of about a year. The fall is just as dramatic when the rest of the teams in the league cant keep up with the financial pace set by the Cosmos.
The verdict: Excellent documentary, I'm sure enjoyable even if you don't like football. Good interviews, funny and intriguing. Imagine trying to start a major following for baseball in the UK and you get some idea of the task that faced the people behind the Cosmos.
Fab, 8 out of 10
was just listening to a report on that film on radio 4, they all say it's really good too, especially the bit where pele gets purchased apparently...!
DaVinci code got savaged in the FT today
Nice review. I love the way he hasn't read the book and therefore doesn't realise that it is also breathless. I particularly liked the part where he says 'plot, plot and nothing but the plot' (pretty accurate description of the book, I'd say).
I also laughed where he assumed that the book pauses for tranquil moments to reflect on the history of Christianity and back-stories of characters. Wrong! The book is entirely exposition. He only uses historical references as a way of reminding the main character of what the next clue means.
Still going to go and watch it though, cos despite the fact that it's mostly tosh, I enjoyed the book.
I also laughed where he assumed that the book pauses for tranquil moments to reflect on the history of Christianity and back-stories of characters. Wrong! The book is entirely exposition. He only uses historical references as a way of reminding the main character of what the next clue means.
Still going to go and watch it though, cos despite the fact that it's mostly tosh, I enjoyed the book.
Here's a couple of excerpts from Tim Robey's (Daily Telegraph) review of Da Vinci Code:
'...two and a half hours of rambling murk with an abjectly terrible script being read out over the top of it.'
'Tautou's inability to speak English without sounding like a strangled ferret pales next to her problems acting in any known language. Goldsman's script doesn't help much: when not giving her Sophie's two favourite French words to say ("incroyable!" and "quoi?"), she's required to take turns with Hanks either doling out or asking for primary-school exposition in her ferret-English. The pair ought to be wearing T-shirts saying "Stupid" and "Je suis avec stupide".'
I think I'm going to enjoy trawling through all the reviews of this film. Can't wait to listen to Kermode's podcast tonight.
'...two and a half hours of rambling murk with an abjectly terrible script being read out over the top of it.'
'Tautou's inability to speak English without sounding like a strangled ferret pales next to her problems acting in any known language. Goldsman's script doesn't help much: when not giving her Sophie's two favourite French words to say ("incroyable!" and "quoi?"), she's required to take turns with Hanks either doling out or asking for primary-school exposition in her ferret-English. The pair ought to be wearing T-shirts saying "Stupid" and "Je suis avec stupide".'
I think I'm going to enjoy trawling through all the reviews of this film. Can't wait to listen to Kermode's podcast tonight.
Does writing for The Telegraph immediately mean you have to be a racist twat?
Did this guy even watch Amelie or does being on the board of the Telegraph mean he just has to be a racist twat?
I like Audrey Tatou so she can say incroyable as much as she likes. The script let them all down and let's face it - the book doesn't seem to lend itself to being put on the screen. Refer my comment on how the Da Vinci Code is written under books, books, books.
I liked what the Beeb had to say about the film - amongst other things that Hanks' mullet ought to be in a reward category of its own. Genius.
Finally watched The Constant Gardener. I loved it. Absolute genius. The style of storytelling is typical Le Carre and films a la 80s cold war spy style. A lot easier to follow than some of those films from the 80s though and the last few moments are pure poetic genius. Im a sap so I loved it. 4.5/5
Ralph could have done better on the crying scene when he returns to her Chelsea flat though. It looks a little fake.
Also watched 'Sarkar' - a Bollywood drama on the seedy underworld of Mumbai and how things get done Godfather style. No songs and no dancing round trees so I thoroughly enjoyed it. Some brilliant characters and a very good reflection of some of the types who actually infest the underworld scene - these guys seem like they're OTT stereotypes of baddies, but they're not. That's the joy of it. Check it out. 4/5
Did this guy even watch Amelie or does being on the board of the Telegraph mean he just has to be a racist twat?
I like Audrey Tatou so she can say incroyable as much as she likes. The script let them all down and let's face it - the book doesn't seem to lend itself to being put on the screen. Refer my comment on how the Da Vinci Code is written under books, books, books.
I liked what the Beeb had to say about the film - amongst other things that Hanks' mullet ought to be in a reward category of its own. Genius.
Finally watched The Constant Gardener. I loved it. Absolute genius. The style of storytelling is typical Le Carre and films a la 80s cold war spy style. A lot easier to follow than some of those films from the 80s though and the last few moments are pure poetic genius. Im a sap so I loved it. 4.5/5
Ralph could have done better on the crying scene when he returns to her Chelsea flat though. It looks a little fake.
Also watched 'Sarkar' - a Bollywood drama on the seedy underworld of Mumbai and how things get done Godfather style. No songs and no dancing round trees so I thoroughly enjoyed it. Some brilliant characters and a very good reflection of some of the types who actually infest the underworld scene - these guys seem like they're OTT stereotypes of baddies, but they're not. That's the joy of it. Check it out. 4/5
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